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The Alan Tribes, with the Rules specified

4 (9.8%)

The Vlachs with the Rules specified

3 (7.3%)

Byzantines with the Rules specified

16 (39%)

Balkan Federation (successive players play different Balkan countries)

6 (14.6%)

The Vlachs with the Rules specified, upon Formation of Wallachia the rest of the Balkan may be conquered. Cultural Diversity enforced.

12 (29.3%)

Total Members Voted: 28

[Ghazkull]

Come on Gents we have a 5 vs. 5 we need a decision.

[Sheb]

Just decide yourself, you're the OP.

[Ghazkull]

Okay Byzantine Empire it will be.
Thats the Player list for now, if you don't find yourself on it, or find yourself on it and dont want to be on it tell me.

Ghazkull
Mainiac
BFEL
Digital Hellhound
Sheb
EuchreJack
Powder Miner
werty892

FIRST PATRIARCH: EuchreJack
Submit your wish and it will be my command.

[EuchreJack]

Could I see a map first?  I don't have Old Gods currently, so I don't know what it's like as anything.

[Ghazkull]

Starting Situation of the Byzantine Empire

geographical

Spoiler:  Warning Huge (click to show/hide)

We are obviously the Purple Blob in the middle. To the North lie the Balkans, predominantly ruled by the Bulgarian Kingdom, however it is at war with the Magyars (the reddish thing north of them). Usually the war ends with the Magyars taking Hungary, weakening the usually quite formidable Bulgaria.

Also of Note is Great Moravia, the Bohemian brown country to the east of what will (propably never) become Germany.

In Italy, France and Germany are the Four Successor Kingdoms to Karl the Greats Frankish Empire. (you know him propably as Charlemagne). Those 5 kingdoms are all ruled by Karlings and all allied to each other and if not for their complete lack at competence one might at one point in the future become the Emperor of the HRE and one the King of France.

Of note are our Holdings in Sicily we start at war with teh poison green Sultanate also there to keep our holdings (read the small fidget of Sicily still left in Christian Hands).

Spain is almost overrun with Sunnis and the Two remaining Spanish Kingdoms usually fall in this Scenario although through sheer luck ive seen them abuse the implosion of the there situated Sultanate.

Also of Minor note are the two other independent Nations in France: the Kingdom of Brittany and the small County of Nantes, ruled by a Viking Jarl. Why is it important? The small jarl has 8000 men under his banner and might actually every now and then abuse the volatile situation in france to carve out a big chunk of france and make it Norse.

England too is a clusterfuck. Apart from the Kingdoms of Wessex, Mercia and Northumbria (Spoiler: Northumbria will soon fall) there are also the Sons of Lodbrok all four of which have a bone to pick with the Christian Rulers. Ivar the Boneless claims the Dark blue area, Halfdan Whiteshirt the seemingly inconsequential Jorvik and Jylland...until one notes that his ten thousand men strong Grand Pagan Army will have its way with the Englishmen. Sigurd Snake-in-the-Eye is the ruler of the rest of Danmark and Bjorn Ironside (the fourth of the Fifth Brother controls the darkblue swedish area) all four start allied and usually claim England, Scotland and Ireland while never managing to reform the Norse Faith.

Eastern Europe and Russia is quite the clusterfuck as usual only not yet converted to the (true) Orthodox Faith. Notable Nations is Holmgard(green south of Finland) under Rurik, Kiev(green above the Magyars) under the Stranger and Jewish Khazaria(Yellow).

While not yet there the Seljuks will appear soonish and worry our Empire, if we are unlucky we end up like our Historical Counterpart. The Shiite belief has not yet appeared but if it appears it will either completely vanish again or replace all Sunnis.
Of note in Africa are the various Miaphysite Kingdoms on the eastern Coast, Pagan Mali on the Westside and a small Jewish Duchy between the Miaphysites which is suprisingly durable.

Religious

Spoiler:  more hugeness (click to show/hide)

Religious Chums are few and actually more interesting as future parts of our Empire then als Allies. We have Bulgaria, Georgia and Us. To the East is Miaphysite Armenia.
In the North you might notice that Christians have not yet spoiled the grounds of Scandinavia and people still believe in the Old Gods. Same Goes for Eastern Europe were there is pagans galore.
Careful however with the Cumans, they tend to reform the Tengri Faith quickly and mercilessly.
Also note the Small Heretic Holdout of Nestorians on Socotra, off the Coast of future Somalia.

Culture

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Culture is not yet that interesting for us though it might be noted that we control a few serbian and Croatian bits of land.
In the North the Norse Mother(father?) Culture is still there and the Norwegians, Swedes and Danes haven't formed their own cultures yet, nor have the Icelanders for that matter.
Also of Note are the Avars which are currently ruled by Bulgaria and will soon be squashed by the HUngarians who will almost always completely extinguish their culture. Otherwise of Note is the Alan Third of Khazaria which is mostly Orthodox and also a bit Tengri and tends to (barely) survive into EU IV.
Otherwise interesting are the Karling Kingdoms which usually either turn completely Frankish or completely Italian due to the Idiocy of the various Karling Kings which refuse to form France or Germany...and thus forever stay Franks.


thats our Starting Situation.

[Chosrau]

Come on Gents we have a 5 vs. 5 we need a decision.

I think you may have forgotten to combine the 2 Vlach options in the poll when comparing. Unless your intention was to show a prime example of Arrow's paradox.

[EuchreJack]

Come on Gents we have a 5 vs. 5 we need a decision.

I think you may have forgotten to combine the 2 Vlach options in the poll when comparing. Unless your intention was to show a prime example of Arrow's paradox.

And thus my wish is that you ignore basic arithmetic and keep playing as Byzantine!  Whoot whoot!

But seriously, I'll propose a compromise wish: As the Byzantine Emperor, you must make the count of Vlach into a king of something.  We need more strong orthodox powers (and thus more orthodox patriarchs, he he he).  Obviously he or his heir must become orthodox if they're not already.

[Ghazkull]

Your wish is my command.

[Ghazkull]

And thus the Reign of Basileus Basileus of Makedon, Rightful Emperor of Greece and Anatolia, Heir to the Imperium Romanum, begins.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Immediately upon the Beginning of our Rule we have to deal with the Idiocies of Michael the Drunkard...our predecessor who fell victim to a strong case of poison. In any case some Sunni Sultan thinks he can question our rule over Sicily...not while Basileus the Strong rules...no sir.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A quick landing operation in the Area should take care of those uppity Sunnites.

Well in any case the Battle of Lentini should show them who is ruling the Sicilies...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

With this little distraction dealt with, i can turn to things of more interest to the Empire...

((Just a Short First Update))

[EuchreJack]

It occurs to me that I'd prefer the Count of Vlach to receive a King title in the Balkans, or at least Greater Greece.  I've no interest in him becoming the King of Sicily, lol.  Still, since I didn't make that specification before, I guess you can give him any king title, although my preference is for Balkans/Greater Greece.

Obviously, feel free to conquer whatever you have to in order to make him a King.  Including him, if he's otherwise unwilling to "enjoy our benevolence".   

[Ghazkull]

uhm would anybody care to change places with me?Iim currently unable to do a playthrough due to a bit much going on reallife and me not getting a proper amount of time together to do this properly?

[Sheb]

Sure, post your save.
Never mind, I'll just play the first war myself.

[Sheb]

Double post for ease of writing, sorry.

The Diary Sheb Dodecakoplos, Byzantine Emperor*

So today mark my first day as Emperor. My predecessor, has an unfortunate incident. Apparently he was so drunk he tried to eat the dagger I had in my hand and choked on it. At least he won't be banging my wife while offering me his nun sister anymore.**

Look how cool I look in a crown!

Now, some might say that my coming to power wasn't exactly... Pious, so Patriarch EuchreJack gave me an holy mission to make the count of Severin King.

I think the old cunt is getting a bit weak in the head.

I mean, this is not King material at all...

I at least sent the count a courtier to marry, hopefully keeping the House of Carasova alive.

I also grew a Beard (with a capital B) out of sheer willpower, because no one can rule efficiently without a Beard. The two points symbolize the two pillars of my power: God, and knifing drunk perverts in their sleep.

Since my knifing skill is so good, and so many Doux seems to lack heir, I launched an ambitious "Stability through knifing pervs in their sleep" program. The extra holdings were offered to family members.

Meet my brother's new Duchy. Or Douxy. Or whatever.

And my Dad's

Now, I needed to get going on that assignment of mine. Now, there are a few Kingdoms I could form for that dude to rule.

Look! I'm in the bottom-right corner!

Looking at the map, the choices are Bulgaria, Wallachia and Serbia. Since you must apparently be able to pronounce a Kingdom's name to form it, and that only the Vlach seems able to pronounce Wallachia (Vallaschia? Wallakia? WTFistan?), this leave me the choice of either grabbing the Kingdom of Bulgaria or forming Serbia. The second option seems much easier, so I decide to annex the Duchy of Rashka. In order not to piss the nobles, I decide not to raise their levies, and I borrow cash from the Jewish merchants to hire...

VIKINGS!

Vikings, bitch.

The fight goes quickly. Now, all I need is to get control of that count to give him his Kingdom. I send my Magisteros to fabricate claims.

Dude is good, I hope he doesn't die.

At this point, old EuchreJack die. Sadly, I checked with my chaplain, and divine mandate still need to be fullfilled even when their messenger died. Too bad.

I swear it wasn't me!

I'm starting to think there is something in the water at the Hagia Sofia, because his successor is apparently nuts too. He barged into my throne hall today, claiming he had discovered Orthodoxy and demanded I convert to it. I went along with him to please, him, but it make me shuddder to know that those guys are deciding Imperial policy...

Or maybe it's in the communion wine?

Luckily, I had a brilliant idea to get rid of the man. With the Magyar settling to our northern border, having those barbarians adopt the Orthodox religion would be great. I sent the Patriarch to evangelize them, expecting to have his head sent back.

...

Damn!

You know what? I need a break. I'm off to the parties of the Holy Land beaches. Call me back when you've got a claim on the duchy of wallathever.

Holy Land Resorts: You'll party like it's 33AD!

I wasn't really inspired for the style, so I don't know if you'll like it. What about the pictures (too many? too big? too few?)? Also, am I free to expand while I wait for the claims, or do I need to accomplish that mandate first? I could go Holy Waring left and right, but that would make for a gigantic blob for the next player.

* I edited the save to change my name, the Patriarch's, and changed the Dynasty name, but that's all.

** Authentic. Here is a copypaste from Wikipedia:

Michael III's marriage with Eudokia Dekapolitissa was childless, but the emperor did not want to risk a scandal by attempting to marry his mistress Eudokia Ingerina, daughter of the Varangian (Danish) imperial guard Inger. The solution he chose was to have Ingerina marry his favorite courtier and chamberlain Basil the Macedonian. While Michael carried out his relationship with Ingerina, Basil was kept satisfied with the emperor's sister Thekla, whom her brother retrieved from a monastery.

Game of Thrones had nothing on that guy.

[EuchreJack]

This old cunt likes it.

[Sheb]

Oh, yeah, no offense intended EuchreJack.

Actually, since unchecked expansions seems boring, I'll let someone else claim the new Patriarch, and he too can give me a mission.