Kick down the cell door.
[1] Leg broken.
GET OUT OF COMA
START THE BLOOD RITUAL
Oh Armok, God of Blood. May we be blessed by great combat skill and ability in the comming battle. We shall sacrafice this trolls blood for this blessing of course.
[3]No.
[1]Technically, even though you're plying for his favour in your mental realm, you cannot physically start the blood ritual. The "virgin" sacrifice also has a chainsaw, so you're boned.
DANCE!
Go to Giegue/Maria's general location.
[2]You embarrass yourself in front of millions.
[4]You flee in shame, in the general direction of the people you're looking for kinda.
Create skynet.
Teleport nachos to Gigue.
[4]You create the Revolutionary Birthday Card from Futurama who tries to paper-cut you to death. Success?
[2]Who said you had that ability? Or even know where they are.
Welp! Afterlife time!
[4]You ascend to Cloud 8½. It's a far cry from any meaningful kind of afterlife, but it does get you away from Cheesistan and the suddenly illiterate writer of several bad novels and poems.
WE CAN WAIT FOR THE RED BLOODED ONES TO COME INSTEAD FOR THE JADE ONES, GREET GOD OF BLOOD. SO WE SHALL SACRAFICE THIS UNPURE THING TO THAT WEIRD KHRONE GUY, SINCE HE DOES NOT CARE FOR WHAT BLOOD COMES FROM IT,ONLY THAT IT FLOWS.
Kanaya:
Don't I Get A Say In This?[8]
THIS IS ACCEPTABLE. SEE TO IT THAT MORE BLOOD FLOWS THAT I MAY NOT GROW JEALOUS OF THE PATHETIC KHRONE.
WHO INVOKES KHRONE AND PROMISES HIM SACRIFICE!?
* Khrone appears in the skies above Cheesistan. *
You'd better know what you're doing, I'm not ready for another boss fight and I think I'm all out of Deus Ex Machina.
CMC: Go back to trying to stem the Scyther Revolt.
Maria: Mentally call for help.
Kanaya: Roll to not die.
[3] I solder an antenna to a toaster. Truly we are reaching new heights in crowd-control technology.
[5] Giegue faintly hears your telepathic call for help.
[8] You pull out your lipstick chainsaw. Whilst activating the chainsaw mode, you accidentally add major lacerations to your body. On the upshot, you also murdernated hundreds of thousands of scythers, spilling their ichor on the ground. Because it is ichor and not blood, it doesn't count for any of the things demanding blood sacrifice, meaning that poketwo still has to deal with those.