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Yes. How can I help?

7 (58.3%)

No.

4 (33.3%)

Only under somebody else's GM'ing.

1 (8.3%)

Total Members Voted: 11

[CaptainMcClellan]

(( You forget the basic rule of the universe ( the one all gender discrimination ever is based on ): "females are special and noone gives a shit about guys." Wallace is a cast-iron, disposable toy that can be put through everything just so long as he gets laid in the end. However, all the powers that be will destroy you if you so much as ignore the whiny female. XD ))

((The Trapisti a all male cult disagrees with this rule and will provide safety to all males who are attacked by this rule.))

(( Prophet, I disagree with this, I'm just being a smartass. At any rate, most don't need it, but good to know where you stand. Moreover, a lot of guys would probably prefer to get their help elsewhere... On account of the whole "Traps are deeply disturbing" thing.))

[Prophet]

(( You forget the basic rule of the universe ( the one all gender discrimination ever is based on ): "females are special and noone gives a shit about guys." Wallace is a cast-iron, disposable toy that can be put through everything just so long as he gets laid in the end. However, all the powers that be will destroy you if you so much as ignore the whiny female. XD ))

((The Trapisti a all male cult disagrees with this rule and will provide safety to all males who are attacked by this rule.))

(( Prophet, I disagree with this, I'm just being a smartass. At any rate, most don't need it, but good to know where you stand. Moreover, a lot of guys would probably prefer to get their help elsewhere... On account of the whole "Traps are deeply disturbing" thing.))

((I know that it was a joke but i don't want anybody to attempt anything i'm very neutral about gender so if somebody made a rule that made it hard to play as a female i would be just as hostile.))

[CaptainMcClellan]

(( You forget the basic rule of the universe ( the one all gender discrimination ever is based on ): "females are special and noone gives a shit about guys." Wallace is a cast-iron, disposable toy that can be put through everything just so long as he gets laid in the end. However, all the powers that be will destroy you if you so much as ignore the whiny female. XD ))

((The Trapisti a all male cult disagrees with this rule and will provide safety to all males who are attacked by this rule.))

(( Prophet, I disagree with this, I'm just being a smartass. At any rate, most don't need it, but good to know where you stand. Moreover, a lot of guys would probably prefer to get their help elsewhere... On account of the whole "Traps are deeply disturbing" thing.))

((I know that it was a joke but i don't want anybody to attempt anything i'm very neutral about gender so if somebody made a rule that made it hard to play as a female i would be just as hostile.))

(( Yea, yea, yea... The stuff with the stuff. No, it's not going to be intrinsically harder for one gender as a player. Now characters on the other hand, but mostly because of parodying stereotypes and other tropes. And I'll try not to go overboard with that. And I won't change the status quo for any character that's been established and characterized already. ))

[Prophet]

((Naw its fine i'm just started talking about this stuff because i don't want anybody to become another Wallace really that was so mean to do all that stuff to him.))

[CaptainMcClellan]

(( Don't worry, I'm not about to let it happen again and Smurfington promised to play fair. ))

[Prophet]

((Ok.)) ((Oh and thank you for not destroying my temple i would have gone batshit insane if it got hit.)) ((Wait did you just tell a leader of a trap cult that traps are disturbing.  ))

[CaptainMcClellan]

((Ok.)) ((Oh and thank you for not destroying my temple i would have gone batshit insane if it got hit.)) ((Wait did you just tell a leader of a trap cult that traps are disturbing.  ))

(( Yep. )) (( I missed. )) (( And so what if I did? ))

IS ANYONE SUBMITTING ANY COMMANDS FOR EQUIUS BEFORE I ROLL?

[Prophet]

((I'm not getting into the troll arena thing but i'm rooting for you.))

[CaptainMcClellan]

((I'm not getting into the troll arena thing but i'm rooting for you.))

(( M'k. Well I'm gonna go ahead and roll then. ))

[Lolfail0009]

((Damn, no Deoxys... Well, I know what my next project is))

[~Neri]

((Oh wait, we were supposed to submit commands for Equius? Too late now I guess.))

[CaptainMcClellan]

((your arena picture is kill))

Stupid humans.

Find an uninhabited patch of galaxy, start creating a giant shield world for 'testing purposes'.

Try and locate my original kind, wherever they might be.

[5]You call it "Shieldia" the minus two went entirely to the name, otherwise it was as succesful as a 7. It's still uninhabited though.
[8]Out in the great depths you locate the planet locally known as Spirus ( give me a break here, I'm drawing a blank on the name ) home to a race of sentient potatopeople. Upon your arrival they begin attaching roots of the gigantic tuber/fungi thing that's eating most of the planet to you to start absorbing your power instead of the Mako/Lifestream/mana/whatever of Spirus. Unfortunately, the potato/mushroom hybrid qualifies as an Eldritch Location, so this works and it begins draining you of your power.

Forgo the weapons and manufacture Hentaibots to work as... well... workers in the Fast Food 'n' Hentai places.

Make lemonade.

[3]Hentai-bots malfunction, luckily you catch it before they're put into production> I'd also like to point out that the hentai and the fast food are two seperate industries that are simply both under TamerVirus's shadowy umbrella corporation. Hence, it would not make sense for the hentai-bots to work at the restaurants, and Moral Guardians would probably boycott.
[1] NOPE. I didn't pull in Sollux just so you could pull some Dave Strider crap. Apparently the dice agree, which is good cos I didn't want to have to waste my intervention on this.

yup, run for public office on the platform of "down with this sort of thing"

[2]Paint huffers, pot-heads, and hip African Cheesistanian dudes from the disco era do not make up a large enough portion of the population and you fail to pick up the trap vote, the gay vote, and the paranoid schizophrenic vote. ( Which makes me wonder if they might be paranoid for good reason... )

"I said no touching! Let go!"

Lyeos: Clean BURNING energy? Make it run off of burning orphans!

Lyeos: Make it able to harvest souls.

[1]For once it seems the dice are on the side of JUSTICE.
[5]But yea, you can harvest disembodied souls now. But the downside is that this may or may not give them partial control of the mech's movement systems.

Tune: Fix Senketsu's zombie problem completely

Tune: go play more Final Fantasy 7 or something

[5]Almost got it!
[7] I'm going to selectively interpret "or something" and "Final Fantasy 7" as "Go check out that awesome Sephiroth meteor that just fell." No harm befalls you from this.

(Looks like the laywers are out of the way...)

Free the trapped knights!

Adapt the Lyrics for Beelzeboss and use it against the Tetris god!

[2]You try prying the Tetris blocks free with your WICKED AXE but saidly, it's to no avail. Even worse, the strain caused the strings to go out of tune.
[2]Fun fact: Sound doesn't travel in space.

I vote Equius Zahhak

Build magma proof probes.

Build construction probes.

Boredom primarily, also thought you may find space amusing.

[3]You attempt to build magma-proof probes out of harvested ice. Due to the physical properties of water, it works well for a little while. However after it melts they burn out all the same.
[2]You don't have the mechanical capability. You could build construction drones, but then you would have no material for the probes. Tricky wicket, eh?

Train with my scythe.
Summon shadow minions.

[2]You accidently end up throwing it and it gets stuck perfectly in a crevice near the top of a sky-scraper.
[2]You don't have shadow minions?

DEPLOY MY ARMY AGAINST THE LAWERS

[3]They threaten legislation and suit for the copyright infringement of having an army of Scythers.

((So I'm a Force Ghost now? Also, I thought My meteor strike was supposed to hit last turn.))

Go find some kid with deep untapped wells of Ki and potential that I can mentor. Maybe a young Ryu, Ken, or Gohan, because we need more copyright infringement.

Go Super Saiyan God now! Hope it somehow miraculously reforms a body for me.

[5]Yes, as we established in the OOC, you are now raising Superman.
[2]There's (surprisingly) no such thing and you get no new body.

CaptainMcClellan: Actually have a succesful move, for once.

Team action (Roll 2 d4s to determine their d8 score):
Maria and Q: Start a big campaign for alien rights.

Oswald, Hobo, & SOGWORT (as one entity): Get drunk.

Giegue: Find a better place to hide

Lawyers: Finish playing with the hentai and start trying to sue everything out of existence again.

[2]Dice: "Haha, do you think if I gave everyone else such bad rolls that I was going to go easy on you!? FOOL.
[2]+[4]=[6] Q becomes a civil rights lobbyist and Maria starts handing out some fliers he made over at the local Kinko's. (Too bad Mitzi was already off work, that would've been cool. )
[5]No such luck. This particular barrel seems to have been a dud mostly, it is incredibly weak and the buzz is only enough to make you thirsty for more booze.
[1]You try hiding in a storage closet. Not only is it humiliating, it's very crowded and things keep poking you. Plus you think something crawled over your tail but you can't be sure. Also it smells. Really bad.
[6]OF COURSE YOU GIVE THEM A GOOD ROLL!
The lawyers are back to suing everybody,including now suing for our obvious knock-offs popular restrant chains, suchs as "McDoogals", "Smite Castle", "Burger Prince", and "Taco Gong". Tamer Virus, how do you meet these charges?

GET BACK TO THE SASSIFRASIN EARTH ALREADY!

If that fails, have your grandfather cause the Potatolaird to fall asleep so you can get through his barrier.

[8]You are strain against the barrier so hard that it snaps backward and flings you across the entire universe. You collide with several planets, shattering them and slowing your momentum, and then are severely burned in the atmosphere before crashlanding in the middle of the crater where Superman's ship had landed, widening and deepening the crater by a lot. Needless to say, you are in excrutiating pain. You make a barrier out of Tetrominos around the impact site to protect you and then pass out. On the upshot, you made an awesome geologic feature which will be great for the tourism industry in years to come.

Spoiler: Arena (click to show/hide)

((Sorry, Ek, doesn't look like you've got a lot of support.))
Equius: How e%citing. I seem to have survived... Is Nepeta okay?

CaptainMcClellan: * steps out of the shadows * Bad news Eq. You didn't survive. Neither did Nepeta. Don't worry though, I'm here to offer you both a chance to return to life.

Equius: * sweating * What do you want?

CaptainMcClellan: This is a simple coliseum-style battle. Defeat me and you get to come back to life in a more peaceful world. Lose and well, you just go back to being dead.

Equius: Sounds e%emplary *adjusts shades You 100k easy enough.

CaptainMcClellan: We'll see. What weapon are you going to use?

Equius: * cracks knuckles and assumes a fighting stance *

CaptainMcClellan: * nods * Well then... I suppose it would be most fair to put away all weapons as well. Still though, it wouldn't be a fair fight if you just beat the crap out of me. * goes to my weapons chest and picks out a pair of tonfa * Ready?

Equius: * nods *

Okiidokii. So CMC is wielding a reality-distortion field that allows me to manipulate distances between things and hover, as well as a pair of steel tonfa.

Equius is wielding his fists and his super-strength which affords him double damage on melee attacks.

CaptainMcClellan: Use the reality-distorting energy to glide toward Equius and smack him over the head with the blunt of the tonfa.
Equius: Grab CMC an perform a reversal, throwing him to the ground
[9]vs[11] Equius throws me to the ground, no damage.
Equius: Stomp on his chest
CaptainMcClellan: Grab leg and twist it, throwing him off balance and bringing him to the ground as well.
[2]vs[8] I pull Equius to the ground, no damage.
CaptainMcClellan: Pin him down before he recovers.
Equius:Kick CaptainMcClellan before he can pin you.
[7]vs[12] Equius kicks me in the side for 2400 damage.

Statut:
Equius: 12000/12000 On Ground
CMC: 9600/12000 On Ground

Marchioness: * to Lyeos * Can we go yet? Also, what's your name?

Sollux: * bums around the space shuttle *

((Oh wait, we were supposed to submit commands for Equius? Too late now I guess.))

(( Yes. For future reference: If you support a troll, you can submit commands for that troll. I thought I'd made that clear last time, but I guess not. I really need to add the rules to the Troll Arena Wiki page.))

[Prophet]

Recover my scythe.
Attack the lawyers.

[WillowLuman]

(Am I the only player who still cares about the Tetris God?)

[Prophet]

((I'll attack him later but i want to get rid of these lawyers how dare they think the can control us through law.))