Lyeos: "Why don't you go to school instead of asking me? And why can I use the controller but not you? I'm dead!" Continue playing Darkstalkers.
Mitzi: Go poke Lyeos while he's trying to play his game.
[7]You continue to play and succeed at Darkstalkers despite the annoyance.
[7]You begin to start poking Lyeos in the side repeatedly, because you are bored.
Well, if he comes back, I'll just teleport again. Also, these rules are pretty dumb, considering the top 4 frequently break them.
Subtly help humanity research FTL technology.
See what Wallace is doing, other than his girlfriend.
[6]You start giving hints to an up-and-coming physicist who just graduated from CalTech. Just to be sure though, you pick a few other physicists from other schools. The hints are so subtle they have no idea anyone's helping them.
[5]He's not been up to much. He's helped some old ladies cross the road. He's mostly been playing Xbox and hanging out with his girlfriend though. Keep in mind, he never thought he'd have one and he wants to milk the experience for all its worth.
Try to use shadow magic to bring the jarl back to life.
Mini-Prophet: Finish Lyeos's mecha body.
((I'm going to need back up.))
[5]You make a shadow-puppet that he can control.
[7]You build a fully-functional, awesome mech body with all sorts of unnecessary weapons and features. It's even eco-friendly and fuel-efficient.
Create a thriving fast food and hentai industry in Cheesistan!
[8]Obesity increases, productivity decreases.
Send Probes to Europa.
Send Probes to Io.
((I want ALL THE MOONS! ALL 60-70SOMETHING OF THEM!))
[7]The probe lands on Europa and determines the ideal place to colonize.
[4]You send a probe to Io, it burns up in the magma.
Join forces with the Fast Food/Hentai industry by selling them my excess pie.
Point railguns at enemies.
[7]"Would you like an apple pie with that?"
[5]You threaten the enemies, they don't take it too seriously.
Go find a serene mountaintop
Meditate on serene mountaintop to unlock new levels of Ki and power.
((Speaking of pirates, since you mentioned PirateBay, isn't there a nautical RTD you run that could also use an update? Pretty please with wenches and dubloons on top?))
[7]You climb a serene mountain on the edge of Cheesistan.
[7]You meditate among the grasses and the trees, resting your feet in the cool, glacial lake. It is very stimulating and relaxing at the same time and you draw Ki very effectively without damaging the beautiful landscape at all.
HAVE THE SCYTHERS DESTROY JAPAN
[8]Great. Now they have another monster movie they can sue us for. Also, the video-game industry is dead. Nerds worldwide are up in arms!
Maria: Continue to do the PR thing.
CaptainMcClellan: Fine then, assist Prophet in creating Magitek suits for Lyeos and the Jarl.
Giegue: Find a more comfortable place to hide
Lawyers: Continue to be a nuisance.
[1]With the introduction of fast food and hentai, the Cheesistani have grown very selfish, fat, and lazy. They can't be bothered to help you anyway.
[3]Nope. We don't have the technology.
[5]You hide behind a column in the lobby, at least now your back feels a little better.
[6]You sue for the military's attempt to create "Magitek armour", even though Square Enix is effectively destroyed.
Recover from wound inflicted by Prophet.
Zoom back to Earth to spite the Potatolaird and otherwise be in a more opportune position for attack.
[6]The wound heals rather quickly, though not completely.
[1]The Potatolaird uses his might potato power to prevent you from escaping. You'll have to resort to controlling the Tetrominos remotely.
Hey! At least you can still do things! And what's ice cream? Wait duh. Nevermind. What does it taste like...?
((Just so you know I'm the the one latched onto your leg.))
(( I know. ))