Tell a joke.
[Swag 2] Perhaps slowly losing his mind, Jak decides to entertain the sinks and toilets with some really
really lame jokes.
Uh....Poop jokes are the Shit! Haha...ha......Urinals...they don't take shit! Yeah....Try to turn my crossbow into an improvised sword.
[Swag 4-2]
[Toughness 3+2]
Wow this tactical cross bow is so friggen cool! But do you know what's cooler? A sharp edged thing that can cut people up. Taking the crossbow, Moby brutishly smashes the well made weapon upon the wall turning it into chunks of mangled plastic. Sword...Sword... Hm. Nope. A couple pieces might be effective stabbed into people. But the same can be said for anything with a pointy end. YAY POINTY ENDS!
Crawl behind the bar, look for a firearm there.
[Swag 1+1] Conveniently ignored by all the Killas, Clearwater waltz over to the bar and hops over it. Again, selectively ignored by the molotov wielding maniac, he starts searching around for a weapon...and grabs an empty rum bottle. When looked at a certain point of view, it does look like a gun. And by certain point of view, it doesn't at all.
Try to find my friend! If I can see a enemy off by themselves, perhaps, I dunno, throwing molotovs? Slit their throat.
Keep grappling and position myself so that if Fenrir tries to shoot me, his aim will be blocked by Johnny.
Break that Uzi-wielding bastard's wimpy neck.
Go and punch Anaconda's brains in.
Kick Anaconda's big brutish mug outta my face, and pump him fulla lead.
"Grrrrrrr... Fuck this!"
Bash Anaconda's brains in with the gun!
"...And FUCK Pirates!"
Throw one of those bottles of good booze at that pirate wench! And by that I mean throw a molotov at her!
[C-S-3+1=4]
[A-S-4+1=4]
[DB-S-6=6]
[J-S-1+1=2]
[F-S-6-1=5]
[SS-S-1=1]
[DB-T-1+1 vs A-B-6+1]
[F-Sw-2-2]
[F-T-2 vs A-B-1+1]
[C-Sw-5-1]
[C-Sw-5]
[F-Sw-1-1]
[A-T-4+2 vs JT-T-6-1]
[A-T-5+1 vs JT-B-1-1]
[C-T-6 vs SS-B-3]
[SS-Sw-1]
[SS-Sw-6]
[C-Sm-3+1 vs SS-Sm-2]
Seeing a pirate grapple with Twoface, the rest of the killas leap into action! Surprisingly, the normally glacial Bear is the first to converge on the two grappling miscreants! Bear decides to do what he does best and use his giant chunks of flesh he has as a weapon! But in this occasion "attack brutally' translates into slapping very very hard on Anaconda's back. This, obviously, equates to nothing much at all.
Fenrir comes up next to club the attacking pirate with the jammed gun! He proceeds to completely miss the struggling pirates head and lands a glancing blow to Anaconda's right arm.
Meanwhile, Chalks has a change of heart and decides to join up with his fellow pirates out in the main bar! Upon arrival he sees swarms of Killas attacking Anaconda! Completely ignoring the central brawl, he manages to ninja his way to a prime target....Stan and his molotovs! He sneaks up behind him, knife at the ready. Fenrir is so singlemindly focused on incinerating Anaconda that he fails to notice the obvious pirate with murderous intent. Chalks is savvy enough to hang back until the right moment presents itself. Speaking about Anaconda, the pirate continues to struggle with Twoface! Johnny tries regain a sense of personal space, but the pirate's grip is superior. She spins her unwilling partner around like some sort of thuglyfe waltz to block gun fire that never appears until she starts applying pressure to the killa's neck! Johnny's neck ends up snapping like a big piece of toblerone, infecting the thug with what the doctor would diagnose as ....ah yes, the results are in! "YOU'RE DEAD!" But the fighting isn't over.
JOHNNY TWOFACE: WASTEDJohnny just might have used the uzi's on Anaconda, filling her with lead. But he can't ....cause he's dead. Oh well! Molotov Stan has other plans for Anaconda...mainly a firey death! However, Chalks has other plans for Stan's other plans! Stan raises up a lit firebomb, but Chalks plunges his knife into the Killa's throat! Suddenly losing alot of blood, Stan fumbles with the lit molotov and drops it....on himself! Being on fire and having little blood is, yet again, early symptoms of "YOU'RE DEAD!" Knowing what comes next, Burning Stan tries to fling his burning soon to be corpse at Chalks! Hey, spread the
love burning fire! But Chalks sees this coming and takes a big step back, dodging the crumpling figure.
STEAMY STAN: WASTEDTHE LOW DOWN
Da KillasJohnny Twoface DEDTyrone "Fenrir" Nash: Bar/Restaurant
Health:
All GoodInventory: Molovich Magnum Pistol (7/7)(jammed) + (3) mags
Steamy Stan DEDDa Bear: Bar/Restaurant
Health:
All GoodInventory: Chair leg
Moby Dick:Outside Entrance
Health:
All GoodInventory: Pointy plastic pieces (
carrows (15)
Land PiratesJak: Bathroom
Health: All Good
Inventory: Toilet Tank Lid
Chalks:lounge
Health: All Good
Inventory: knife
Nickel-back DED
Eric Clearwater: Bar/restaurant
Health: All Good
Inventory: baseball bat, gold ingot
Anaconda: Bar/restaurant
Health: All Good
Inventory: Cleaver