Quick, roll over Syvarris and Paris like a boulder out of Indiana Jones!
Also rant about nondescript things in today's society.
O̵h,͕̭̹̣̥̩̜͝ ̳̣̙͚̘t̮͓̞̘̳͢h͚͍̼̰̭̀e̮͍͓͝ͅy̴͕͚̣͎ͅ ̳͔̘̝͞wạn̺̭t̛̻̳͙͓̝͇ t̟̗͕̳o̮̪͇ ̯b͖̳͍e҉̱̖̰͔̱̭͖ ͍̻͎͈͚ͅͅa̻l͏̩͈͍͖̙͍͔l ̴̰̮͚e̜͓v̞̦͔͖͟i͚͎͕̜̞̪̱l ̬̬͍͍͜a̝̹n̶d͔͉͔̩̘̫̰ ̼ͅs͙͎ho̠̥̣̹̜̖̮c̤͙k̗͎͙͚̯͖i̳͈ng̮̮ ̳ḁ͙͔͍̣n̠̞̯͔͖̦̞d̝͙ ̷͍̩̮c̞͘r̼̦̦a̬̻̜̪̝̣͕͝p͉̱̙̠̫̘͔.̀ ͠G̶͉͇o̲d̘,̸͍̜̗̗ ͚h̴̗̰̳̜ò̥̻̰̞̞ͅw̞ ̲̺͍͓p͏̝̪̼͔͙̤at͘ḥ̭͕͞e̥̣͉t̵i͓̞̫ͅc͙̳̱̘a̢l͍̤͇̙l̵̲̰̗̖̱y̞ ͙̰t̗͍͖͠h̤̀èy͍͞ ̙̭t̬r̪į̖͕̻̩̳͔͍é̻͖͖d͈.̹̬̝̙͍̖̻ ͏̭̥̲̖̬I̹̻͚ ̗̯̥m̭̩̫̻̤̺͎e̗̖̟̦ͅa͕̮n̕,͕͎̺̣͠ ̫̦̰̞͚̼i̴̟m̼̼͙a͖̙̗ͅg̝͠ị͎̠̗n̼̹̯̮͔e ̟͈͍̮̜̤̲ǫ̲̞̜̤͍̫p̻̤̞͞e̫̻n̵̻̣i̡̼n͏̲g̨̘ ̺a ̥͔d̯ͅo̱ò̫͉̯͚̩r̮̞̘̹̥̫ t̗̭̣o̧̠̬̯̰̯͓ͅ ̻͝f͉̘̯̼͜i͙͔͍̹̟̥̝͡n̗̩̞̜d͖̞̜̹ ͏̖̫̠̥̻͎y͉͓͚̲̭͕oų̼̞̱̺r̲̜̯̩̠̗ ̞ḿ̘̖̯͓̣̳o̹̦͇̯͍̻͟t̥͇́h̷̝̫͕̙̝e͍̕r̶̮̝ ̠̲̦͖͙a̻͎̬̮̻n̜͠d͔̖̖ ̱͇ͅs҉̮̙͓̜̟i̷̦͔̰̼s̪̥̬̦͔͘t̠͓͚̫e͙r̨̯̙͍̪ ̪̩̭̥͘r̵a̕p͔̣ḭ̟̬͇͍n̜̺͙̪̮g͏ ̲͍̭̞̬̘͡e̢̖̻̹ͅa̭̠͙̤̝̟͉c̮̣͕̲̩̜ͅh̦̺͕͙̞͉ ̳͍͕o̝̝̳̕t̟̲̜̬̫̳̱ḫ̨̥̰͉e̶r͔̼̥͝ ̘̹͍̦̕w̜̰̕i̖͎͙̖̳t̢͎̭̺͓̱͉̭h̶̲̙̥̠ ̝́p̷͖̲̠̪i̩̪͍̮̙͉ͅnk̠̖̺̲ ̪͚͕̳s͡tr̟̬͙̣̰a̵̘̳̟̩̼͕̜p̵̙̠-͏o͈ǹ͎̞͉̖̦͉s̼̭̗̞̮͝.҉̹̘̘͔ And͏͖͙̫̝̦̣ͅ ͙̤͕͈͇y̹̼̲̳͕̱͜ou̵͓̫͓̗͈ ̛̖t̜͇̤͈͖͎́ͅh̝͍͚ͅe̤͕̥͓̗͚n̪͓̪ͅ ̼͇̦͔̀rȩ̬̮͖͔̤͚̩a͕͎̫̜̹̝l͈̺̦̮i͚͓̳̫z̻̭͕̘̬͚̮e̴̝̥͎̳̮̼̘ ̲̺͇͢ț̜̥̙͡h̨̗a̲̫̦t̼͔ͅ ̟̤͜y͎͉͢ǫ̥u̹͠'̻̜v͈͎e̥ ̩n͙̮̩͖͍̦e̮v̲̖̲e̥͜r͙̺ ͡s̗̦̖͔͓ḙe̤̤͉̖̹̣͖͘n̦̩ ̶̖t̯͎̫͔̠̬h̲̠̱̫̖̝̦e̯̦͔̬͎i͔̮ͅr̷͕̣ ̶͈͙̠̙̺b̬͍̬̠̱̯à̰r̮ḛ̴̜͙͍̹ͅ ̜̯̱̜̙a̢̟͕̭͕̝̞ͅs̛̯̹͍̲̗̳͍s̗̯̬͚͔̠͇e̳̯͇̖̻s ̧̺̺͎̳̞͚b̡̞͙e̵͚̮͖͖̗͖ͅf̤̤͔̝͎̩̭o̻͘r̵̲e͉͕͈,̱̦͕̭͖͟ ̱̥͇̖͔̠̖b̳͕̦̟̱͖ͅe̬̗̟̮c̗͍̻͖̠̺a̯̭̟̠u̜s̗e̥̟͎͎͇ ̹͖͕y̰̼̝̭̩̭ǫ͍̺̣͖̥ṷ͉̞'̹̝̬͔̲͚r̻̳̬̩̺e҉̻ ͚͕̠͡p͍r̲e̷̪̺t̯̥̥̞͉̦t̢̥͕͈̘y̥͔͔͚ s̬u̹r̼̘̗̮̞è̲̣͕͇͈̘ ̺̱̱̭́yo̠u̺̞̻̯ ̺͔̟ẁ̩͔̖̣̲͙o͏͎͓u̡̘̥̙̺͇ld̗͕͈͔ ͇͠ḩ͖a͓͈̘̪̲͈̼v̖͈̦͓̖̼̤e̜ ̨͓̣̟̱r̲͙̥͝e̠̣̰m̭̫͉̝̕e̠̯m̟̫̟̖ͅb͍͟ḙ̞̲̭r̻̟͖̰e̡̲̦̳d͓ ̤̣̠̗͍t͔̙̖̳h̢͔͕̞̱͉ͅe̜ ̲͔͇̟̰͎̙̕ṣ̣̥̖̩͈̤w̟̲͕̜a̴͔̪s̮̻͉̪̟̀t̷ì̻͈̥k̥̦̜͈̦a͏̠̞̩s̖̖̜̘͖ ̤ͅt̞̱͓ͅa̳t҉̜͍t̡͍̟̮͓o̦̥͈o̡̟̮̭̞͉e̷͇̝d͙̮̫͓̩͜ ̙̞͈̕ṱ̳͠h͉̻̫͈͟er͈͖̩͖̳͘ͅḙ̬.̧̪ ̙̠͚A̺̼̞̟̱͞ǹd̦̗͖ ̖̤͕̫̩u̟͚͔͡p̯̼̹̮̜̹͈o̦̱̥̺͕n̞͚͔̟̫̜͔ ̱͖̬̲̤͠ͅn̫̣ot҉̜͓̺͍͈i̢̮c̸͙͓̮̤i̡̯͎͕̯n̡g̫̞̥͚̯ͅ ҉̥̻̯̬̜y̷o̱̖͈̖͠ͅu̲̜,̩͞ ̱͟t̬̻̠͚̦̲h̹̗͈̺͈̻͔éy̩̘͙͔͓͔ ̩͎͈͖̜̣̳g̙̭͕r̢̬i̝̺̩̩̤͘n̦̖̮͍͞ ̘w̸̰̠̟̖i̶̼̬ć̳̟̩͍k͓̤̬̣̜͙e̙͇̘͕͚͈̮d̥̗̣̗̭̳l͓̞͖̦͙̠y͉̦̗̦ ̪á̼̰n̘̪̬d͎̭̻̪̯̖͞ ͉̤̖͖̀g̟͕̬̩̲̪i̖͕ve ̢̙̭̪̟y͈o͕̠̳u͇̘̳̰͎͍̥ ͔͚̞͠t̴̩̟̻͓̪h̛͈̞̜̲̤̠e̤̲ ̹̭͡f͟ị͓̱n͉̭͇͇͞ͅͅg̱̰͉e̮̱̘̺̼̤͉͢ṟ i͈̘̬̕n͍͔̦̰ ͜u͏̮͇̗̹n͍̱i̻͖̩̘̞͈so҉͙n͕̠͚̤̱̼.̴̟͓̹͕̥
Continue advancing menacingly on syvarris with the slow but inevitable step of a tax collector, grinning.
"Leaving so soon? Where do you think you're going?"
Step on his leg as he crawls away to pin him in place.
"Come on, make this easier for both of us and just die already."
Man's gotta bleed out sometime.
If he doesn't... Well, good for him, I guess. But if he does, his head is mine.
Do not worry too much about being run over. Fat guys can't defy gravity.
Continue trying to escape from the DMR arena, and get to a hospital. Buy a cab if there's no EVAC in this society.
((I'd try to bandage the blood flow, buuut I think internal bleeding's a lot worse. Also, if that thing really is 30-06 size, my lung is probably half eviscerated anyways. Rifle rounds are frigging terrifying.
Also, Beirus, I'll pay you a point if I survive and you kill reds instead of going for nonlethal attacks.))
Continue trying to escape from the DMR arena, and get to a hospital. Buy a cab if there's no EVAC in this society.
((I'd try to bandage the blood flow, buuut I think internal bleeding's a lot worse. Also, if that thing really is 30-06 size, my lung is probably half eviscerated anyways. Rifle rounds are frigging terrifying.
Also, Beirus, I'll pay you a point if I survive and you kill reds instead of going for nonlethal attacks.))
Help this man get outside and into a cab. Unless someone stops me, of course. Don't get into a fight over it.
Xan thuds down on top of paris and farts loudly while gurgling drool onto the back f paris' head. In the mean time, Sy gets dragged, barely conscious, out the door and off to the hospital. Guess we'll see him next episode.
FUCK OFF YOINK
REVIVE AS UNDEAD WARRIOR
DESTROY YOINK
Nah.
You wanna rejoin the audience, captain sharkbait?
Go around nipping audience member ankles in frustration. Keep attempting to peddle off my shit for DD.
You angrily chew on a piece of discarded paper. You are not very smart. You are a weasel.
Relax, enjoy cigar and the show.
"Oh, so this is what it feels like to be an investment banker playing with the lives of lesser men and enjoying myself as they struggle for their little lives.
Oops, I've become a sociopath."
((Just got through blitzing this in basically one sitting. It's brilliant, and if you're still looking for a bookie or at least gambling revision I'll probably take a closer look at it later.))
Meanwhile, join bloodthirsty audience, acquire currency.
You get 8 dd
Also yes,
I'd love to pawn that work off on someone Allow someone who would enjoy doing that the chance to set up a better betting system and run it with
ironfisted violence and utter corruption care and objectivity.
Red:
If I can shoot the blue boat with my cannon from this position, do that.
Otherwise, throw a cannonball at the Wasted Bastard.
speed: 15
dexterity: 5
Perception: 3
FIRE CANNON AT BLUES FOR SINKING PURPOSES.
Name: Magarth Tuchivimov
Description: An elite soldier from the Neo-Capitalist-Communist-Fascist-Libertarian-Republic-Kingdom of the Soviet Union, who killed 289 terrorists and filthy dissidents during his military service. In actuality, he spends the day roaming the streets and mugs various pedestrians, stealing any coffee creamer they have. He claims this is, "All part of the defense strategy."
Reason for signing up: CABBAGE. [Not specified any further.]
Stats:
Strength:5
Dexterity:5
Endurance:5
Speed:3
Intelligence:1
Luck:1
Will:3
Perception:5
Team: Red
Points: ?
"Huwah!"
See if I can somehow begin flipping the other boat by driving into it. That oughta be interesting.
Blue:
((PW, you know I've been waiting for this since the episode started. Hopefully I don't muck it up.))
Name: Mason Caldwell
Description: A middle-aged male with brown hair and brown eyes. He has a slightly muscular build and his whole body is covered with scars, a testament to the hard life he has lived.
Reason for signing up: He wants to be a Magister, to have all the power that comes with the position.
Stats: (20 points to allocate. 5 Points in a stat gives a 1/3 chance of +1. 10 gives 2/3, etc.)
Strength:3
Dexterity:3
Endurance:15
Speed:3
Intelligence:1
Luck:1
Will:1
Perception:1
Inventory: Replacement leg, replacement hand, Katana sword thing, Athlete suit (4 charges left?), mostly used first aid kit.
"And now the fun begins. Larry, you mind staying here and covering me with that revolver? Hey Reds, you might want to stay out of my way."
Use an offensive charge. Board the red boat and activate sword. Kick the Red captain overboard, and cut any Red who gets in my way. Cut off their arms, to be specific, or just bisect them if it is easier. Watch that 360 degree vision for threats.
(Sorry for not posting yesterday; I forgot to check the thread.)
Name: Flimsy Not-Wizard
Description: A guy with a wizard hat.
Reason for signing up: To become a wizard!
Stats
Strength:1
Dexterity:1
Endurance:1
Speed:1
Intelligence:21
Luck:1
Will:1
Perception:1
Fire cannons at opposing ship.
"And now the fun begins. Larry, you mind staying here and covering me with that revolver? Hey Reds, you might want to stay out of my way."
"Aye aye, cap'n!"
Cover this man with the revolver.
Name: Larry Hinn
Description: A moderately tall fellow with broad shoulders. Has the dull eyes and brown hair of his family. Cracks his knuckles a lot.
Reason for signing up: To get money for his nephew Thrak. Boy isn't real bright.
Stats:
Strength:5
Dexterity:5
Endurance:5
Speed:5
Intelligence:1
Luck:5
Will:1
Perception:1
Team: BLUE BARBARIANS
Points: 3
Inventory: Revolver; three shots left.
Injuries: Right arm from elbow down replaced with robot arm.
((I love, absolutely love, that description Burnt out magpies nest indeed.))
For the love of drugs, DUCK! Just lie down on the gas pedal where nobody can see you, spit (caustic fluids) at anyone "blue" (colorblind, really red) whom I see.
Name: Wasted Bastard
Description: A guy who's so thin that his bones show, and his hips form a bowl in which stuff can be held. His stringy greasy hair is falling out in chunks, but reaches down to his lowest rib. His eyes bulge out like nothing you've ever seen, and dart this way and that without end. He's coated in a blue crystalline powder, probably from rolling in some drugs like a cat with catnip.
Reason for signing up: Out of money for drugs and food and rent, so need, like, 20 bucks to make it this month.
Stats:
Strength: 1 (wish this could be 0 for the auto fail)
Dexterity: 11
Endurance: -8 (I mean, 1)
Speed: 2
Intelligence: 1
Luck: 10
Will: 1
Perception: Negative infinity (1)
The Red boat jerks to the side as Gilbert tries to capsize the Blue vessel. The two ships grind against each other, metal groaning as it is crushed and torn, both ships taking on water. Navarro abandons his cannon and grabs one of the metal balls used as ammo, tossing it at the Blue captain in desperation. It never reaches it's target though, instead coming to an abrupt halt in Mason's hand. He's standing on the prow of the blue boat, blade at his side, billiard ball sized metal bearing in his other hand. He looks at it for a second before dropping it, letting it clang dully against the deck. He takes a step forward, hops over to the other ship, and down onto the deck. He pauses for a moment, bouncing on his toes like a futuristic bruce lee as the strange metallic musculature of the suit bulges outward, and then swings a roundhouse kick straight through the Red ship's cockpit, tearing the thin metal roof clean off and sending it flying a good 15 feet. He spins back to a normal standing position, and bends down, looking into the cabin that he just opened like a tin can. Gilbert is crouched down low, one hand still on the wheel, the other covering his head.
Dodged an Athlete suit?! Now thats something you don't see very often!In the mean time, Larry runs back and joins Wasted bastard, giving him cover with his pistol. Magarth and Flimsy try very hard to turn the mounted cannons to fire at their opponents but have no luck.