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[piecewise]

Ooo, I know!

Me too. And I will never do that boss fight if I can help it.

... Um, what boss fight? I wasn't on the channel and now I am very curious.

I.HEAR.A.SOUND.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

No, I'm afraid you are wrong again.

The weights crush his right hand into a paste

Now then...What is the date of your own death?

[darkpaladin109]

...Today?

[Toaster]

((Should have said Yesterday))

[piecewise]

...Today?

Is that your final answer?

[darkpaladin109]

...Today?

Is that your final answer?

....No.
My final answer will be: The day I get revenge on that asshole Tsari.

[GreatWyrmGold]

...Today?

Is that your final answer?

....No.

Aw.

[piecewise]

...Today?

Is that your final answer?

....No.
My final answer will be: The day I get revenge on that asshole Tsari.

I'm afraid that is incorrect.

One of the weights that is already resting on a crushed part buzzes as it crushes down with a few more pounds of force.

What is the name of a hypothetical subatomic particle which was thought to be able to subvert causality?

[darkpaladin109]

...........Higgs Boson?

[piecewise]

...........Higgs Boson?

Nope. Tachyon.

The weight over Flimsy's head shivers and then drops with hydraulically powered force of a truck being fired from a cannon. His head ceases to be.

OH my, well, I believe that is the end of that.   Alright, Teams, Please pick a representative for the individual challenge.

[darkpaladin109]

......((I was actually kinda trying at the end. Ah well, RIP Flimsy Not-Wizard, you will not be missed.))

[Harry Baldman]

Raise hand and volunteer in silent enthusiasm.

Spoiler: Gilbert Garplacks of RED (click to show/hide)

Name: Gilbert Garplacks
Description: an unspeakably greasy man of uncertain age, his skin shines like that of a fish, and he is constantly red in the face. Though his entire head is hairless, he has a mustache tattooed on his left index finger, which he raises to his lips on many occasions, giggling softly before lowering his finger again.
Reason for signing up: his mother thought it'd grow some hair on his chest at last.
Stats:
Strength: 3
Dexterity: 1
Endurance: 15
Speed: 1
Intelligence: 1
Luck: 5
Will: 1
Perception: 1

Wounds: clipped in the hip by Mason's tip.
Points: 2 (so sayeth the second post)

[Beirus]

((Wait, was there an MVP or points/items distributed after the Team Challenge?))

"Not it. Last time I did one of these, I lost my genitals. And since Larry has a hole in his chest, it looks like its up to you, newbie."

((Also, I feel like if I volunteered, it would be a challenge where my Athlete suit and sword couldn't help me.))

[Toaster]

((Oh right, hole in chest.  I was halfway through volunteering when I saw your post.


PW:  Health status update?))

[flabort]

Duh! There are nobody on team, we alone! Has to be me!
Raise hand again.

Spoiler: Wasted Bastard: Blue Team, 0 Points (click to show/hide)

Name: Wasted Bastard
Description: A guy who's so thin that his bones show, and his hips form a bowl in which stuff can be held. His stringy greasy hair is falling out in chunks, but reaches down to his lowest rib. His eyes bulge out like nothing you've ever seen, and dart this way and that without end. He's coated in a blue crystalline powder, probably from rolling in some drugs like a cat with catnip.
Reason for signing up: Out of money for drugs and food and rent, so need, like, 20 bucks to make it this month.
Stats:
Strength: 1 (wish this could be 0 for the auto fail)
Dexterity: 11
Endurance: -8 (I mean, 1)
Speed: 2
Intelligence: 1
Luck: 10
Will: 1
Perception: Negative infinity (1)

[piecewise]

Raise hand and volunteer in silent enthusiasm.

Spoiler: Gilbert Garplacks of RED (click to show/hide)

Name: Gilbert Garplacks
Description: an unspeakably greasy man of uncertain age, his skin shines like that of a fish, and he is constantly red in the face. Though his entire head is hairless, he has a mustache tattooed on his left index finger, which he raises to his lips on many occasions, giggling softly before lowering his finger again.
Reason for signing up: his mother thought it'd grow some hair on his chest at last.
Stats:
Strength: 3
Dexterity: 1
Endurance: 15
Speed: 1
Intelligence: 1
Luck: 5
Will: 1
Perception: 1

Wounds: clipped in the hip by Mason's tip.
Points: 2 (so sayeth the second post)

Duh! There are nobody on team, we alone! Has to be me!
Raise hand again.

Spoiler: Wasted Bastard: Blue Team, 0 Points (click to show/hide)

Name: Wasted Bastard
Description: A guy who's so thin that his bones show, and his hips form a bowl in which stuff can be held. His stringy greasy hair is falling out in chunks, but reaches down to his lowest rib. His eyes bulge out like nothing you've ever seen, and dart this way and that without end. He's coated in a blue crystalline powder, probably from rolling in some drugs like a cat with catnip.
Reason for signing up: Out of money for drugs and food and rent, so need, like, 20 bucks to make it this month.
Stats:
Strength: 1 (wish this could be 0 for the auto fail)
Dexterity: 11
Endurance: -8 (I mean, 1)
Speed: 2
Intelligence: 1
Luck: 10
Will: 1
Perception: Negative infinity (1)

ALRIGHT! We've got our volunteers! Now, lets see what they're going to play, right after this commercial break!

.....

((Oh right, hole in chest.  I was halfway through volunteering when I saw your post.


PW:  Health status update?))

Stable. They stitched up your wounds and removed part of a damaged lung. You're relatively fine.

((Wait, was there an MVP or points/items distributed after the Team Challenge?))

"Not it. Last time I did one of these, I lost my genitals. And since Larry has a hole in his chest, it looks like its up to you, newbie."

((Also, I feel like if I volunteered, it would be a challenge where my Athlete suit and sword couldn't help me.))

We'll do the winners after this round. It will probably be up to audience vote, since that was a bit chaotic.

Wait...I'm not a commercial...

....

When the show returns the Host is nowhere to be seen, instead he's doing voice over as the cameras look down on the two volunteers, who have been moved into what looks like a batting cage of sorts. Both men are affixed, spread eagle, to large metal plates at the end of long alleyways. At the other end of the alley is some sort of automated crossbow. Each man is wearing a helmet with VR goggles and a bit target affixed above his head.

This is a game we call "William Tell" and it's a good bit of fun. Basically, these VR goggles are linked up to those crossbows. They are aimed using the contestant's eye movements, and actions are taken using a little microphone by which they give orders.  We go in rounds, and each round a contestant my do one of 4 things. They may fire the bow at themselves, attempting to hit the target above their head, which will win the game for them. They can fire their opponent's bow at their opponent, attempting to injure or kill them. Or they can block themselves or their opponent using a metal dividing wall.

If the contestants understand, they may take their action for this round now!