Using my awesome Gun Fu powers, triple-wield submachineguns and enter the VOLCANO FORTRESS as a hurricane of bullets.
[4] You duel wield two machine guns as well as a third in your mouth....somehow.You spin like a tornado! Bullets fly! Some even manage to graze EVIL STEAMPUNK LINCOLN!
Okey, your asking for it
SUMMON GOOD, NOT EVIL AND GENERALLY NICE HIGH FANTASY JOHN WILKES BOOTH
[6]Channeling the energies of history, you plead to the strings of alternate universes to aid you in the quest to GM! Suddenly a rift opens, and an armor-clad, sword wielding figure appears! YOU HAVE CALLED FORTH HEROIC FANTASY JOHN WILKES BOOTH, SLAYER OF TYRANNY! Unexpectedly, a second rift appears! An angry-looking shrouded man appears! Apparently you have used too much energy in the summing process as you have also called forth OPPOSED TO LIFE NECROMANCER JEFFERSON DAVIS!
ARM SLAVES WITH FIREARMS AND EXPLOSIVES THAT THEY TOTALLY KNOW HOW TO USE! ATTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[1] Finding a conveniently placed shipping crate filled with "my little rebel" weapon kits, you proudly proclaim: AK47's FOR EVERYONE! Your rebel army fails to understand your commands to attack the volcano fortress right in front of them, however. They instead march off to attack Indonesia and the unrelated volcano base at KRAKATOA!
Karate ninja kick!
[5] Channeling your inner ninja, you perform a karate kick so massive that it resurctures your past! You are now a trained ninja!(+1 to ninja rolls)
I call in a favor from the current president to carpet bomb the fortress with anti-personnel mines.
[6] Using your high-tech smoke signal generator and the fact that you are awesome bros, you message in the direction of the white house! "NEED BOMB PLOX!" "K BRO" Not soon after, a larger bomber appears, dropping ANTI-PERSONNEL MINES! Uhh... They seem to be bombing indiscriminately! Now the ENTIRE BATTLEFIELD IS MINED UP YO!. You see another smoke signal rise up in the distance! "MY B LOL-O"
GET ANGRY ARGHHHHHHH!!!!
[5] Upon seeing his MOST HATED OPPONENTS, EVIL STEAMPUNK LINCOLN focuses the alcohol, cyanide, and ANGER into SHEER POWER! He heals his temporary blindness as HE GAINS EVIL LASER VISION!
STAB YONDER TYRANT WITH THINE BLADE!
[1] He runs towards Lincoln, only to step on an anti-personal mine! [5] He is relatively unscathed by the explosion, however!
CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS! RISE!
[2] A really crummy looking skeleton appears, only to disintegrate after it trips an a nearby rock. Whelp.
STATUS!
EVIL STEAMPUNK LINCOLN HEALTH:|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
-HAS THE LASER EYES OF EVIL!
HIGH FANTASY JOHN WILKES BOOTH HEALTH:|||||||||||||||
NECROMANCER JEFFERSON DAVIS HEALTH: |||||||||||||||
Blazing glory: Recursively a ninja! (+1 to ninjary rolls!)