((Sorry poketwo, TamerVirus, and IcyTea, not a ton of energy for updates tonight. I'll add you two tomorrow, and then update the OP to say I'm full up for now. I don't have as much free time for this as I thought... D:))
"Grumphlmkrb."
Strut off nonchalantly. If wyvern riders appear or anybody attacks, commence deadly defensive flailing with obscenely muscular arms. Search for wild boars otherwise.
(6) (Auto-overshoot!) You strut off with great swagger, the guards too terrified to follow. You do a fantastic job of walking through the woods, pre-emptively defensively flailing at anything that might hurt you. This includes smacking a hapless civilian right into a wild boar. The boar is enraged by the smell of fresh blood from the poor human! It glares at you and prepares to charge.
Check what's in the dressers and under the bed using my magical telekinetic powers..
Therefore, I'm using my Wandless magic skill.
(1) (Auto-fail!) You give a tug on one of the drawers, which as it turns out, is locked shut. However, you tug a bit too hard and the whole dresser falls to the floor with a crash. You barely manage to get out of the way in time. You hear a frail-sounding cry from a woman though, and you recognize it as the one from last night. She'll probably come in at any moment!
"You not-bold, where's cook-space?"
(4) -> (3) (Gender/Charm) -> (4) (Chef)
The woman seems surprised by your manner of speaking, but then remembers that you are, after all, a kobold, and that you make good pies. "Ah, there you are! You'll find the kitchen down the stairs, third door on the right. My little Henry will be up soon so a blueberry pie would be--" She's interrupted by a large crash that sounds like it's coming from one of the left rooms in this hallway. "Eeek! Oh dear oh dear..." she heads in that direction.
Summon myself to the world of mortals, using my abilities as a seer to guide my magic.
(1) (Auto-fail!) You attempt to cross planes to the mortal realm, but as it turns out the realm to hell has a stronger pull, and you end up there. The demons are probably not going to handle a sentient formula very well... you hear some growling and screeching nearby.
"Bawwk."
Conjure large amounts of delicious pasta for the masses! (Pastamancer, Pastery)
((Reroll Saucery with one Awesome Point, please.))
(4) -> (5) (Pastamancer) -> (6) (Pastery) You get to work and start making pasta for the day. Unfortunately, you make a tad TOO much and it fills the entire kitchen, some of it spilling out into the dining area. Some of your guests are terrified by this and leave. More for the rest of them, you suppose.
Saucery is rerolled from (2) to (4)! (You now have 1 Awesome Point left)
Make my displeasure about my situation known. (Historian (Tact), Swording Things (I'm a damn good sword already damnit!)
Also use 1 awesome point to reroll Random Trivia, preferably to gain some form of self-locomotion (Seriously two 1's in a row?)
(3) -> (4) (Historian) -> (5) (Swording things) "Stop!!" Once that startles the two of them into standing there stupefied... You clearly, firmly, yet politely explain the situation. You're an ancient, sentient, magical sword. Forging you wouldn't do anything but cause you pain. You tell the man who found you that you appreciate being moved from wherever you were, but that you must apologize, you work for yourself. He gives a shaky nod and agrees to let you go. They set you down on the ground, gently, and even give you a sum of cash for your troubles (though they don't know how you'll carry it). (50 gold added to inventory)
(4) You change "Random Trivia" (3) to "Self-locomotion" (4)! (You have one awesome point left)
((The manly elf stays.))
Follow the tracks. If I need modifiers, elfness for tracking and balance to not trip over stuff and dodge threats.
((Sorry, I did read your later posts after typing this all out. I think I'll leave this as is and let you keep the awesome point, because I find it amusing. But if you want I'll edit it later. >.>))
(1) Pah, you refuse to rely on those silly elven instincts! You start to follow the trail, but quickly lose it, and when you do, you start carving a new one with Skullsmasher. Unfortunately, after 30 minutes you realize you're much more lost than before. You suddenly jump to your senses when you hear the unmistakable growl of an angry boar. He seems to be preparing to charge, but... not at you?
Go outside.
(6) (Auto-overshoot!) ((Um... let's see)) You exit the tavern, but then you tap into a strange otherworldly energy. Before you realize it, you have exited the entire mortal realm, straight back into hell, from whence you were summoned. You feel the source of this energy, but can't wrap your head around it. It... feels like math? Bah, you turned to boozermancy to avoid this kinda stuff. You hear some growling nearby.
Damn, those sixes.
Capture local peasant. Use his blood to curdle synthetic blood-cheese-flesh and create a new body to hide in.
((Speaking of sixes...
)) (6) (Auto-overshoot) You slip out of your castle and grab the nearest peasant you can find. You try to extract his blood and curdle it, and succeed... you curdle it so well though that it grows mold, and certainly wouldn't pass for a costume. You have some blue cheese to sell now, though. (Blue cheese added to inventory)
((Geez, turns out I didn't even need modifiers for most of you. Dem dice.))
Harry Baldman:
(5)Name: Klint Bloodmurderer.
(4)Race: Human
(4)Gender: Male
(4)Class: Barbarian
Skills:
(3)Killing Things With His Bare Hands And Teeth
(2)Screaming
(5)Deadly Defensive Flailing With His Obscenely Muscular Arms
Bio: Klint knows not why he is here, as he suffers from rather terrible memory loss issues. He isn't even sure his name is actually Klint Bloodmurderer, actually. It just feels like it should be. He stopped worrying about all these things ages ago, however. Now he simply lives in the moment.
Inventory:
Muscles
BlitzDungeoneer:
(4)Name: Mugen Kuro
(4)Fox
(5)Gender: Male
(5)Class: Sorcerer
Skills:
(6)Wandless Magic(Does not require focusing instrument to cast magic)
(2)Dualwielding(Is quite capable at dual wielding weapons)
(6)Foxfire(Can create fire instantly on tails)
Bio:
?? ((You may want to rewrite this in light of your rolls. Or not. It IS optional.
))
Inventory:
1 Awesome Point
darkpaladin109:
(3)Name: Jerry
(2)Race: Booze Elemental
(3)Gender: Male
(6)Class: Booze Party Wizard
Skills:
(5)Drunken Aura
(4)Party Tricks
(5)Telling bad jokes
Bio: Summoned by a clown wizard for some sort of joke. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a really good party wizard, upstaging his summoner easily. He now travels the world for parties to entertain children at.
Inventory:
1 Awesome Point
100 gold
Samarkand:
(2)Name: Food-Cookbold
(4)Race: Kobold
(3)Gender: Male
(5)Class: Chef
Skills:
(4)Pie Making
(3)Meat Cooking
(3)Butchering
Bio: Key Lime
Inventory:
None
Beirus:
(4)Name: Jase Bladeheart
(4)Race: Elf
(6)Gender: Male
(6)Class: Axemaster
Skills:
(5)Using axes
(5)Balance
(5)Parrying
Bio: He was a mercenary, and a half-decent one at that. He and the other members of his outfit were drinking after the completion of a rather difficult task. He sort of expected a hangover, but not such a severe one.
Inventory:
3 Awesome Points
Skullsmasher
flabort:
(3)Name: Roger MacCurren
(6)Race: kobold
(5)Gender: Male
(6)Class: Naruto Cosplayer
Skills:
(2)Skill 1: Parkour+
(2)Skill 2: Poison Mastery
(2)Skill 3: Deathly Diplomatic
Bio: N/A
Inventory:
2 Awesome Points
Chink:
(2)Name: Clock of the Wlack
(3)Race: Giant Barbecue Chicken
(3)Gender: Male
(4)Class: Pastamancer
Skills:
(4)Saucery
(6)Pastery
(5)Wizardy
Bio: Bawwwk *sizzle*
Inventory:
1 Awesome Point
Emral282:
(3)Name: Flamberg
(3)Race: Tsukumogami (Sword) (Pretty much a magical sword old enough to be sentient)
(5)Gender: Sword
(5)Class: Historian
Skills:
(5)Swording Things (... Its a sword)
(4)Self-Locomotion
(4)Fire Magic (Its a MAGICAL sword)
Bio: An ancient sword that has been used by many great heroes and villains in the past. Has picked up a passion for history over the ages.
Inventory:
1 Awesome Point
ShadowDragon:
(4)Name: Ansel's law
(4)Race: Mathematical formula
(5)Gender: None
(2)Class: Seer
Skills:
(3)Telekinesis
(6)Summoning
(3)Postcognition
Bio: A formula describing the expansion of planes, which has gained sapience.
Inventory:
None
Cheesecake:
You remember...
(6)Name: Cheesecake the Divinely Delicious Dairy Dessert Deity
(5)Race: Cheesecake
(2)Gender: Cheesecake
(6)Class: Bloodthirster
Skills:
(6)Curdling
(6)Blood Magic
(6)Screaming
Bio: A cheesecake warlock who screams. Yes.
Inventory:
-1 Awesome Point. ((Seriously, all those sixes o.o))
Blue cheese
Author
Topic: Roll to Derp [Minimalist Fantasy] (Read 7093 times)