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[ckisocoa]

Heat it to such a degree and give it to someone that has low heat tolerance?

Fingernails

[Lyeos]

Create the Witch from Left4Dead.

The Divine Comedy.

[ckisocoa]

Transport them into the story, have them die in hell. (I'm bad at this.)

Sheep fur.

[Worldmaster27]

Lace it with a flesh-eating acid, and give it to someone as a cloak.

Flying Carpet

[Kilojoule Proton]

Send it flying at someone's face.

Doily

[CaptainMcClellan]

Doll drew near! ( Obscure video game reference +1 )

Linux.

[darkpaladin109]

Slam it on someone's face.

A piece of meat.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Slap someone with it. Repeatedly.

My signature.

[Lyeos]

Forge it to steal all of your money, resulting in very bad things.

Roll to Dodge: Oh God Edition.

[Noel.se]

Invite someone who isn't used to Bay12 to join and play. Watch him go insane.

Titan (the moon)

[RAM]

Force someone to weaponise it in order to continue a forum game. (Copout-level beige)
Point into the sky, yell "look out, it's titan" the assault them while they are distracted.
Falsify tests indicating that it is composed entirely of precious metals. Watch countries bankrupt themselves attempting to mine it.

Being locked in a metal cage with a sleeping tiger, a squeaky chew-toy, a torn hessian blanket, a large quantity of leaves, bone fragments, and sticks, and two stone bowls, one containing water and the other containing dried gore.

[WillowLuman]

Subject peasant migrants to that, the survivors can join the fort.

Juggling

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Fail, 'accidentally' throw the balls at someone.

Your soul.

[Worldmaster27]

Use it in Necromantic rituals, summoning an undead army.

Nesting Dolls

[WillowLuman]

Replace the final one with a grenade.

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