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[ShadowHammer]

You know what porcelain teapots, cups, and saucers do? They shatter. You know what sharp porcelain shards are good for? Making small, easily concealable shanks.
The butter cookies are for use in converting people to the dark side.

A basketball.

[CaptainMcClellan]

Bounce it off someone's head.

A fingernail.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Cut open someone's throat with it.

A Playstation.(no hitting with it.)

[Worldmaster27]

Show today's next-gen console gamers the graphics on it. They will all have a heart attack from complaining too much.

Next-Gen console

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Travel back in time while holding it. Show to Romans. Watch them either go insane or become absurdly fat couch potatoes. Conquer Rome.

An AMV.

[RAM]

Play it backwards, summon clowns, conquer world.

A lit match, a fork, and a marshmallow.

[CaptainMcClellan]

OBVIOUSLY A MARSHTORCH. Then you can use it to burn peoples' eyes.

Television.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Force all channels to play only terrible music.

Board games.

[CaptainMcClellan]

Play Monopoly with everyone and refuse to end the game early so that everyone dies of boredom/sore-loser allergy.

(( You mean like MTV? ))

A fallen log.

[Worldmaster27]

Make it fall in such a way that every ant in America dies.

Coffee

[Kilojoule Proton]

Give someone caffeine intoxication.

Gaseous, room-temperature oxygen.

[RAM]

What, like, pure oxygen? At 1g? Well, just immerse folk in it, they won't even see it... Or use it as a fire accelerant. The undiluted stuff is crazy dangerous. Ummm, put it all in a room with no other gasses and then place a wine and cheese platter in the middle. The air-lock will be a bit suspicious, so give the whole event a space-station theme. Post open invitations around the place...

A potato chip(erm... large french fry?), a magnetic business card, a bottle of red flavoured-water, some old, leathery spaghetti, and a boiled egg.

[ICBM pilot]

get your enemies to drink the red flavored water watch as they go insane from trying to comprehend what colors taste like
liquid helium

today's next-gen console

Am I the only one that read this and immediately thought of Toady designing a console?

[Worldmaster27]

((That would be amazing. He could do way better than Microsoft or Sony! I'm also assuming 'Toady's next-gen console' as the weapon))

Announce it to Bay12. Our cheers will be heard all over the world; eventually Toady's console will either unite PC and console gamers, or ignite the inevitable PC-Console war, plunging the world into a nuclear winter...

NPC

[Kassire]

Make it the most frustrating NPC in which the player will die of frustration

Silk thread