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[Adragis]

Use it to attract ravening mice.

Dead cats

[Quartz_Mace]

Use them to attract hungry bears

A beard

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Dorfs. 'Nuff said.

A graphics card.

[lordpyridine]

The computer can't handle the heat generated by your 8Gb graphics card, starts house fire.

seven rubber bands, an +ash earring+, bone meal, and a single grain of sand

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Throw the speck of sand into the persons eye, irritating it and blinding them. Then, stuff as much bonemeal as you can down their throat, stopping them from screaming for help and suffocating them. Meanwhile, cut of circulation in both arms via rubber bands and use the earring as a stabbing implement.

A terrible mood.

[TalonisWolf]

  Dorf fails the terrible mood and starts a Terminal Tantrum Spiral

  9 non-poisonous, non-allergenic jelly beans.

[Magnumcannon]

Insert them into a shotgun round, done!

Air.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

You're welcome.

Steam Sales.

[hops]

Starvation due to getting broke from spending too much on the enticing games of Lord Gaben.

A lego piece.

[Dutrius]

Stepping on those is really painful. Best combined with a sheer drop to either side.

A smiling face.

[TalonisWolf]

  The face is Medusa's.

  Toady One.

[Araph]

Dwarf Fortress has already trapped thousands. He's a weapon of psychological warfare.

A pile of tacos.

[Magnumcannon]

Legendary Throwing.

Weed

[Araph]

Haven't you heard about the guy who snorted a marijuana at a party and died immediately?

A microphone.

[Rolan7]

Speaking out against a dictator.

A lemur.