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[RAM]

Melt it in a heated-bucket which is left precariously over a doorway.

Life spontaneously gaining the ability to persist without sustenance.

[Lightningfalcon]

Overpopulation becomes so bad that a black hole is created in a couple of thousand years.   
This post.

[wer6]

Right when some poor sap comes to it, his over heating laptop stops working, because of the brightness, and it shutdown due to lack of power.

A successful politican, that is honest.

[hops]

"Hello citizen, today I am going to raise the tax, not because I am going to use it to build more infrastructure, but because I need a new yacht. Anyone who resist this new legislation will be executed summarily by my killer drones."

A parrot.

[Comrade Shamrock]

''Avast ye swabs, hand over your booty. Arrrgh! No? Get 'em Polly''

A calculator.

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Divide something by 0

Video games

[Comrade Shamrock]

They might make good shrapnel. Now come over by this pile of games.

A length of plywood two meters long exactly and two cm wide with a thickness of five millimetres.

[RAM]

Paint a road on it, put it at the end of a road that leads off of a cliff. Whoops, too tired to think clearly.
Beak it in half, use it as a sled, push a heavy object down a hill into a victim.

The super-power to produce food-colouring from your ears.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Drown people with it.

A hare.

[RAM]

Wield the awesome cuteness of a baby hare. Conquer world.

out-of-key singing.

[Comrade Shamrock]

A banshee.

A paper club.

[tntey]

Set fire to the club, then whack someone

A webcam

[Comrade Shamrock]

Swing it around like a Morningstar.

A hamster.

[RAM]

Hamster-wheel-powered-tesla-coil-of-doooooooooom!!!

Every second recent post in this thread.

[Comrade Shamrock]

Cast all the letters in those posts in iron. Drop from roof.

A walking frame.