It is the year 1999. A young dude named Nick is determined to beat every video game ever. Shit gets real even before he picks up the controller as he brawls with stuff. It's up to our hero, backed up by a snarky narrator, a creepy super dimensional merchant, and the inhabitants of the Bay12 to slack off and play Nintendo all day.
Kill the game characters who have leaked into reality in order to get SHINIES, these objects can be used to stretch reality just enough to bring in more peeps from Bay12. We already have Mastahcheese, LordSlowpoke and Dermonster. You'll need their help, so collect them all!
Play games and beat them to gain abilities, get stronger, and unlock recruitable mooks!
MASCHES[3] You only manage to trample
one dog on the way and it wasn't even the one you were aiming for. You think it was a Shiba. Wow. Very splat.
[5] Even though you aim for them the guards easily dodge by stepping to the side.
Hey a little boy just blew right past us- You're kidding right? It was wearing a green dress, clearly that was a girl. Well that little girl was wearing a sword, shouldn't we stop her-? Look, I'm the boss, I say we stay here until a real threat comes along. Like a deku scrub or something-[4] Epona wisely uses the bridge to cross the moat. [4] The bridge guards ignore you, figuring if you weren't stopped by now that you must have permission to be here. You're at the main entrance now. There's an iron portcullis blocking the way. Two more guards flank the door, they ignore you.
Young Masches - Kid Wallet: 100RP - GOAL: Beat Ganon!
Green Tunic
Mido's Hat
Kokiri Sword
Kokiri Shield
Slingshot
Fairy Ocarina
Cucoo Wing
Quest ItemsKokiri's Emerald
NICK +
LSPLSP goes left, Nick heads right, hugging either wall you approach the throne at the end of the hall. [3] You don't make a sound, but it's been a while by the time you finally near the throne. A pair of armored koopas with feather-crested helms under their arms wander over from the mousehole and put a stop to the shell gambling. The brigade of troopas form ranks and come to attention. The armored koopas pace a bit, one of them waves here and there trying to put them in order. It looks like they're about to move out.
+----------------------------------0-------+ 0 = mousehole
| +--------+ | x = tapestry (can hide behind them)
| |lo ^^ ol| | t = koopa troopas
| |lo[zz]ol| | N = nick
| |{/:==;\}| | L = LSP
| |--I--I--| |
|x +__M__M__+ x|
|x x|
|x tttt Lx|
| N tttt |
| |
|x x|
|x x|
|x x|
| |
| |
|x x|
|x hall continues downward x|
Paper Nick - GOAL: Beat King Koopa!
HP: 6/6
Coins [12]
Hammer
Green Shells [2x]
Black Ooze [a bit]
Broken Stick
Paper LSPHP: 6/6
Nothing!
Le IRL
Derm agrees to make a run and asks to borrow Nick's car.
Hells to the no. He says without tearing his eyes from the screen.
That's my baby. The narrator booms helpfully.
No need to drive down to GAMESTAP. You can contact the merchant at any time from the safety of your home! Bullshit! How? Quantum stuff. It's too complicated for fictional characters like you to understand. Wait, how is this even relevant? We want food, not games. He's a Merchant. He sells stuff. Oh! That's a different story then. What-? I- ... How?!!The merchant poofs into the room.
Welcome!GAMES
System Shock 2 [500 BD, Rated: -A-]
Tiny Tank [200 BD, Rated: -S-]
Age of Empires 2 [150 BD, Rated: -A-]
FOOD
Pink Lemonade, 20-Pack [100 BD]
Large Frozen Pizza [60 BD]
Ranch Doritos, Family Pack [20 BD]
Double Pepperoni Hot Pockets, 8x [50 BD]
Single Hard Candy [1 BD]
OTHER
3x Requested Items (Prices Non-Negotiable!)
De-Digitizer [2000 BD]
New Console [5000 BD]
PC [10,000 BD]
Nick
Gender: Male
Appearance: Average weight but in good shape. Fairly tall, has short-cropped, dirty blonde hair and tan skin. Good-looking.
Background: Incredibly laid back. Determined to beat every video game ever. Likes money.
Health: Heavily Bruised Face [-2 Cha]
Skills: Master Laziness
Masches
Gender: Male
Appearance: Average height, average weight. Dark black hair that he wears mid-length. Has a bright pair of eyes that seem to take in every detail.
Background: Has a delicate, logical manner. Except when shit goes down. Then he dives in and breaks some fucking heads.
Health: Fine
Skills: Master Problem-Solving, Expert Brawling
Derm
Gender: Male
Appearance: Has huge muscles. Has dark brown skin and long black hair that he wears tied back into a ponytail.
Background: A registered Bisoncop. Former Lich and Master of Darkness.
Health: Okay
Skills: Skilled Batons, Skilled Pistols, Skilled Conjuration, Skilled Necromancy
Elliot 'El' Espee
Gender: Male
Appearance: Beefy, a bit pale. Doesn't look like he gets out much. Has short-cropped blonde hair.
Background: Also a registered Bisoncop. Former stand-up comedian of little fame.
Health: Doin' Fine
Skills: Skilled Batons, Skilled Pistols, Master Comedy
Ideas
None
Inventory - Bison Dollars=1,200
2x Bisoncop Pistols
2x Bisoncop Batons
Stylish Clothes [+1 Cha]
Wallet [for buying things]
Screwdriver [for screwing things]
Suprah Gamepad
Toyota AE86 [Nick's awesome car]
Systems/Games
Small TV
Large TV
PSX [Haxxed]
- Metal Gear Solid [-A-]
- Syphon Filter [-A-]
N64
- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time [-A-]
- Paper Mario [-S-]
- Puzzle Bobble [-A-]
Gameboy Color Color
- The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening [-S-]
- Kirby Pinball Land [-S-]
Games Beaten - Beat Counter: 0
None!
Debt
21,800 Bison Dollars
5 Days Remaining until collection
No Public Property Damage until collection
Welcome!
Whaddya buyin'?
---
Ah-h-h! I'll buy it at a high price!
Exchange
Rupees to Bison Dollars: 1/.01
Coins to Bison Dollars: 1/10