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[TCM]

Also, who is best Pony?

[Empiricist]

HEY GUYS

Give my sister a quick run down of the game and the story and stuff. Because, in my continuing attempt to avoid straight answers, I will be filtering questions through her.

To paraphrase my own character,

The ARM are a group of former criminals turned rebellious organization. Among their members are murders, arsonists, mad bombers, mutants, psychopaths, tiger fuckers and jay walkers. They are lead by a computer whose great size and level of galactic observation makes him as close to omnipresent as anything humanity can come across outside of scripture. Their goal is to overthrow the entire UWM and to recreate the government as a freer, better society. Possibly run by murderers, arsonists, mad bombers, etc.

The ARM offers civilians two options: They can come with them, live out a nice, mostly peaceful life OR, have the guy who just punched a 3 foot thick slab of concrete in half shoot them in the stomach and then pump them full of memory erasing drugs so that they forget being afraid of the ARM, and possibly their childhood.

[Harry Baldman]

HEY GUYS

Give my sister a quick run down of the game and the story and stuff. Because, in my continuing attempt to avoid straight answers, I will be filtering questions through her.

Hapless chucklefucks from all the corners of the galaxy, falsely accused, tricked or just plain screwed over and put into the deadliest incarceration solution known to man.

Hardened killers and vicious psychopaths, heinous terrorists and destroyers of all that is good in this world, captured and sent on the loveliest community service of their lives.

Together, they have Fun across time and space.

Flying through the dark void of space on lethal errands at the behest of Chief "Man with the Plan" Steve and dealing with helpless civilians and disinterested aliens with equally extreme prejudice, will these various people learn to put aside their differences and solve the great galactic conundrum that may decide the fate of humanity, and, more importantly, find friendship and even true love in the process? Find out this summer in a Bay12 Games Forum near you! From the acclaimed heuristic-algorithmic creator of Perplexicon, it's Einsteinian Roulette!

Rated R for Erryone.

[IronyOwl]

Once upon a time, every instance of a specific type of genetic alteration went berserk at exactly the same time, resulting in a ravening plague of ever-changing flesh. Humanity fought back, but poorly.

To properly combat this threat, the worlds of man united into the UWM, or United Worlds of Man. With ruthless military leadership and by virtue of actually working together now, the UWM was able to vanquish this biothreat forever. So then they stayed in power anyway.

Fast forward a few centuries, and the proud HMRC, or Hazardous Material Requisition Corps, is gladly serving as the UWM's premier Useful Roundabout Execution Method. By taking dangerous criminals, and simply those the people in charge didn't like, and shoving them onto alien planetoids and poorly understood warp dimensions, the UWM was able to achieve a steady stream of wierd alien knickknacks for very little cost.

Fast forward a few more missions, and it turns out the HMRC, and more specifically the particular ship the players are on, is controlled by an ancient supercomputer made of human brains, originally produced to combat the biothings, but which had foreseen the UWM's eventual decline as a result of their victory. Determined to fulfill its purpose of salvaging humanity, first from the meathorde and then from itself, it finally sprung the trap and began leading the HMRC, now rebranded as ARM, in an outright but very strategic rebellion against the somewhat decrepit but still very dangerous UWM.


TL;DR Idiots in space die a lot because computer says so and they're dumb and their allies like to go all three stooges with mining lasers, then rebel against their corrupt masters because computer says so and they're dumb and wheeeee freedom!

[Parisbre56]

HEY GUYS

Give my sister a quick run down of the game and the story and stuff. Because, in my continuing attempt to avoid straight answers, I will be filtering questions through her.

It's a fun game.

It uses the RTD system meaning that you roll a d6 whenever someone is doing something that has a chance of failure (like flying or shooting a weapon) or when there are opposing actions (like fighting with someone over the TV remote). Then you apply bonuses or penalties to rolls depending on character skills and items.

If the end result is 1 or lower you get an epic fail that usually hurts you or your teammates in an amusing way and probably ends with someone loosing a bodypart or more.

If the end result is 6 or higher you get an overshoot, which tends to do what you intended to do in an over the top manner, usually hurts you or your teammates in an amusing way and probably ends with someone loosing a bodypart or more.

Then there are 2s which mean complete failure and 3s which mean partial failure. Rolling that during life or death situations like combat usually means you or your teammates get hurt in an amusing way and probably ends with someone loosing a bodypart or more.

Then there are 4s and 5s which mean that your action succeeds, although given that most situations are quite dangerous and many people's plans aren't that well thought out, that usually means you or your teammates get hurt in an amusing way and probably ends with someone loosing a bodypart or more.

Oh and there are also overloads. If someone tries to use a manipulator (a machine that makes you solve equations to allow you to alter the world in some way) or a psychokinetic amplifier (amp, brain implant that does the same as manipulators but quicker) to do something ridiculously powerful (like freezing an entire enemy army) they explode with catastrophic physics-breaking results (like a miniature sun or an area so devoid of energy everything inside it, even light, freezes).

So that usually results in the entire mission area being destroyed, many civilians being killed, you or your teammates getting hurt in an amusing way and probably ends with someone loosing a bodypart or more.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Among their members are...tiger fuckers...

Actually, only one, and she's dead now.

...OR, have the guy who just punched a 3 foot thick slab of concrete in half shoot them in the stomach and then pump them full of memory erasing drugs so that they forget being afraid of the ARM, and possibly their childhood.

I don't remember that option coming up...


Dear piecewise's sister:

Have you read your brother's background-information document? It gives a nice overview of the history of ER. Also helpful is the wiki, notably the New Player Guide but also other pages.

Still, let's assume you can't read those. Here's an overview:
Mankind reached the stars and discovered that there was a lot of weird stuff out there. Anomalies. Things like jump points (which teleport people and things between two points in space), alien technologies, and what is colloquially referred to as space magic.
Mankind spread, and grew proud. No major alien races were found, so we assumed the stars were safe. Then...the Altered came. Imagine a cross between John Carpenter's Thing and Games Workshop's tyrannids, and throw in some physics-screwing for good measure. To combat this threat, the disparate worlds which humanity had settled united in the creatively-named United Worlds of Man, or UWM. Through advanced technology, space magic, and great sacrifice, the Altered were fought back.
Steve is a sentient wetware supercomputer. He watched the end of the Altered wars, if I recall correctly, and he certainly saw what happened next. The UWM started out nice; it was a bit totalitarian, but the polite, necessary kind. But when the need for strong leadership and a bit of sacrifice from every human passed, the UWM didn't let go. Some planets drifted into obscurity; others were strangled by totalitarian laws. Steve saw this, and prepared to fix it.
He was put in charge of a group called the Hazardous Materials Recovery Corps, composed of felons from across the galaxy who are sent on missions where you wouldn't want to send even robots. They check out alien anomalies, deal with the occasional serial killer/assassin (RIP, people on China-9), and occasionally talk with some local leader before accidentally causing a riot and then overloading a manipulator forcing an evacuation of that part of the planet. (That was my first mission. I saved someone's head!) If you die, no problem; as long as they have your brain intact enough, they'll replace everything else with neat cyborg bits, or possibly "synthflesh" (a type of material that has all sorts of fun properties vaguely reminiscent of the Altered, such as physics-warping, durability, and--in large enough quantities--violent rage). Theoretically, if you complete ten missions successfully, you get to go free; in practice, you'll lose your brain before then and if you dont you'll lose it to wetware. It's this band of thieves, whores, and the occasional accidentally-convicted innocent person who gets sent to some of the most dangerous places known to man with some of the most dangerous people known to man which Steve intends to use to revolutionize the UWM.
The HMRC, rechristened the Allied Resistance Movement (?), or ARM, invaded a planet called Hephaestus, one of the biggest manufacturing worlds in the UWM. Simultaneously, other ships invaded other such strategic UWM worlds. Once they did, we prepared, repaired, and fought off a UWM attempt to reclaim their world(s) from what they thought was worker rebellion. Then we went out, with ARM's agents (the old HMRC) being sent on various special-forces missions to recover ancient artifacts, assassinate people who know too much, check out cults, and other things which will be seen in the future, as elsewhere we foster alliances among the downtrodden and research the next wave of technology.

[Devastator]

There is a man called Steve.  Steve is a robot.  Steve has a very important job; they send him bad people and crazy people and some people who were just in the wrong place.  They send all these people to Steve.  Steve then takes all these people, and sends them to very dangerous places.  The dangerous places are very strange.  The people go into the places, look around, and try to bring back the strange things they find there.  Steve then gives the strange things to smart people, who use them to help all the people.

Steve got tired of the people who send him the bad people.  He decided to keep all the strange things for himself, rather than for everyone.  Now Steve is trying to kill all the people who sent him bad people, and he is using the bad people and the strange things to do that.  He tells the bad people they are doing a good thing by hurting and killing so many.

[Parisbre56]

I believe there has to be a name for piecewise's sister. If we're going to be talking about piecewise's sister then we can't keep calling her piecewise's sister because piecewise's sister is such a mouthful. We need something shorter than piecewise's sister, like Quadratic or Ms. Piecewise or something.

[Doomblade187]

Would Halfwise or Partwise work?

[NAV]

Peacewise?

[Xantalos]

Halfwise sounds good to me.

[Doomblade187]

Peacewise?

+1 to this, as long as we can differentiate.

[piecewise]

She likes halfwise.

[Toaster]

It makes me think of Hobbits, because halflings and Samwise.

[Hapah]

In light of recent events:

ER is a game where your job is to open a box, and you somehow manage to spawn a vengeful god instead.