Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[mastahcheese]

We must acquire more pokeballs for this task!

[mastahcheese]

Alright, I think we left it on a spot where people can add in pretty much whatever they want.

Me and 4mask wrote almost a whole 2 pages to it.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Playing off of the death idea, I've just added basically a prompt to finally give the soldier a name.  Hopefully, this doesn't immediately turn to a fight.  Seems a tad early for that, but the way I wrote the shadowed entity's reaction could wind up leading into a fight.

[mastahcheese]

Hmm, I hadn't really thought about what to call him, I figured that would be up in the air longer.
Although I do think that collaborative writing is probably the best way to do dialogue that you can get.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Hmm, I hadn't really thought about what to call him, I figured that would be up in the air longer.

I can see four possible directions:
1) We create a name now.
2) Stall through talking.
3) Fight scene.
4) Bolt out of there into a chase scene.

With four, a possible path is running out, falling near the blank tombstone, the shadow coming over and making a comment about the tombstone being blank, then a cutoff with an implied killing of the soldier (could come back later with the shadowed person having been killed instead).  The story could then cut over to the main character (via it 'was a dream', 'in the past',  'just waking up', or 'startled in some way').  However, that feels like it has been used multiple times before.

Although I do think that collaborative writing is probably the best way to do dialogue that you can get.

Especially if you have one group focus only on one character, since each person would have a precise idea of what that character would say.  Though, it would get unwieldy.

[Scotsmen]

I would contribute to this, but unfortunately I'm not really that great at writing. Oh well, I have it bookmarked so I can come back to it at any time.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

I would contribute to this, but unfortunately I'm not really that great at writing. Oh well, I have it bookmarked so I can come back to it at any time.

It doesn't matter how bad you are at writing, it's the ideas that matter.  Someone should come along sometime to take your idea and edit it to have better writing that still has the same idea behind it.

[mastahcheese]

*Goes to work, hoping to see our hero's name when he got back*

*Sees that nobody added anything*

Welp, Guess it's time to get to work on figuring this out.

I can see four possible directions:
1) We create a name now.
2) Stall through talking.
3) Fight scene.
4) Bolt out of there into a chase scene.

1) No idea what to call this dude.
2) I'm terrible at writing dialogue.
3) You mentioned you hope it doesn't come to that, and it would cause complications later on for murder.
4) You mentioned that that's overdone, unless he actually escapes successfully. Which would leave us at an awkward spot.

So...
There really isn't much in the way of a good outcome from this, at least in terms of plot advancement, since giving him a name would still require a talking scene.

Hmm, I'll ponder this, and come back to this in an hour or so if I can.

[WhitiusOpus]

I would love to contribute to this, it looks like a good idea, and the story is progressing so far. Actually, if we cut off that last paragraph, we could have an awesome short story. As it is, I don't know why there would be another person. It seems to me like this is a lost soul, who has died from some long forgotten war, and returned to his home. The journal, and the name, are already implied to be his.

I don't know what more to add, actually. The soldier has found what he is looking for, and has found his home. Perhaps a less... Easily found, goal? I don't know, just throwing out ideas. I'm going to guess we can't edit other's work?

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

The soldier has found what he is looking for, and has found his home.

Actually no.  He found a journal and someone's home, but not his, and that journal is not necessarily what was being looked for.

I don't know, just throwing out ideas. I'm going to guess we can't edit other's work?

Edit to elaborate on a sentence: yes.  Edit to change the meaning of a sentence: no.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Hey, I found an option 5: give a false name, specifically the one on the journal.  Stalls having to give the character a name and gives a fair progression.  Possibly something that could be used later at that.

[mastahcheese]

But... I thought it was his home and journal, and he simply forgot.

Although it would make for an interesting story.
I don't know how to write for the stranger, though, his starting personality isn't one I'd be good at adding too.

[TD1]

This is a great idea. I'm gonna read the thing now, contribute later.

[Talvieno]

All right, I'm in. *brofists the cheese mastah*

edit: I'm correcting typos/style errors already and I haven't even finished reading.  lol

[mastahcheese]

All right, I'm in. *brofists the cheese mastah*

edit: I'm correcting typos/style errors already and I haven't even finished reading.  lol

That's a good thing!
The first thing I did was to change all the present tenses to past tenses, so you're good.

Oh, Zanzet, I sent out a PM to some people to get some more activity in here, hope you don't mind.

*brofists the Talvieno*