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[blazing glory]

Use my pancreas to summon a demon to heal me and put me in a position of power.

(3) He heals you,he doesn't care to put you in a position of power and mention's perhaps calling in a "favor" at a later date.

Exterminate everyone who might ever become the protagonist of the story, that is anyone with at least two of the following traits:
-Orphan
-ANY sort of prophecy has been given about them
-Could talk way earlier than most children
-Has matching magic powers with someone else
-Is constantly depressed and wondering if their powers could be used for good
-Prefers handguns and swords as primary weapons over assault rifles etc.
-Has a halo of any sort

(4) Every potentional protagonist has been exterminated.

I rally the utopia locals to clean up the baby eating cultists.

(1) What utopia?

Spoiler: REASONABLE STUFF (click to show/hide)

aattss:3 turns until death.

birdy51:Horribly burned,for 1 turns he has a 1- to physical activities.

[IcyTea31]

Expand my empire to other worlds and other 'verses.

[killerhellhound]

Get some handcannons/swords and a halo tell people I have a prophecy to destroy a great power and that I am an orphan

Becomethe protagonist

((I made this tyrant empire for shits and giggles. Can I still be the protagonist?))

[birdy51]

Apologize to the sun, and offer it to plant it flowers to cheer it up.

[blazing glory]

Expand my empire to other worlds and other 'verses.

(1) The rebels are winning the war,you aren't in any condition to expand your territory right now.

Get some handcannons/swords and a halo tell people I have a prophecy to destroy a great power and that I am an orphan

Becomethe protagonist

(6) IcyTea31's hit squad got you when you were 2,the date you learned all the words in a dictionary.

Apologize to the sun, and offer it to plant it flowers to cheer it up.

(4) Things are warming up again now,looks like we won't be having a nuclear "cold war"

I mean dystopia, you know, the one rife with all the nutters, anyway, I stop these evil cultists!

(4) You save the day! except everyone is afraid of the gang members so no one celebrates.

Spoiler: REASONABLE STUFF (click to show/hide)

aattss:3 turns until death

[killerhellhound]

Get some handcannons/swords and a halo tell people I have a prophecy to destroy a great power and that I am an orphan

Becomethe protagonist

(6) IcyTea31's hit squad got you when you were 2,the date you learned all the words in a dictionary.

Come back from the dead and fight IcyTea's empire

[IcyTea31]

Close all thermal exhaust ports on my superweapons. Fight the rebellion.

[blazing glory]

Come back from the dead and fight IcyTea's empire

(4) You are back from the dead! You join the resistance!

Close all thermal exhaust ports on my superweapons. Fight the rebellion.

(6) The rebellion finds help from oversized teddy bears and beats back your normally superior army (You make a star wars reference then so do I)

Spoiler: REASONABLE STUFF (click to show/hide)

aattss:3 turns until death

[killerhellhound]

Teach magic to the resistance

[TamerVirus]

BUMBLE THROUGH A NON EXISTENT PLOT!

[birdy51]

Sigh contently and sit on a park bench.

[IcyTea31]

Challenge killerhellhound to a duel. He gets to choose the weapons, arena and time, but I'd like to suggest lightsa-...beamrapiers on a high mountain's summit at dusk.

[Fluoman]

Challenge killerhellhound to a duel. He gets to choose the weapons, arena and time, but I'd like to suggest lightsa-...beamrapiers on a high mountain's summit at dusk.

Add dramatic intense music to the duel.

[aattss]

Look for the dragonballs and use them to wish for my wounds to be cured.

[Arcvasti]

Flee to somewhere less chaotic and dangerous