Somehow spit out the clamp
(4) You manage to spit on the clamp.
CONVIENTLY FIND MAZINGER Z
(6) You find Zombie Maverick. He seems rather distressed.
begin building WMDs then start revolution
(1) You kind of forget some of your nuclear engineering classes, and forget to store your isotopes safely. You acquire Lethal Dose of Radiation!
Hunt for aliens.
(4) You head off to Mexico. It's kind of hot, and absolutely filled with aliens. Most of them speak some sort of strange language full of upside down punctuation.
>Ask the friendly tartan-clad locals for directions to Darvi's place.
(4) They point you to a large mosque in the center of town. Apparently, they were fetching the weekly supply of prayer rugs, which the prayer dog has been ripping up.
Try to construct a luncheon meat golem out things in my fridge
(4) You form some fresh and less-than-flesh into an ugly paperweight-sized lump. That's how they're supposed to look though, so it's fine.
Buy the silo, investigate homeland security
(4) You buy the chap's silos, then receive a cordial invitation to investigate the Patriot's Interrogation Room.
Beat up other people to acquire fiscal power
(3) You find an old lady walking down the alley. A perfect target! Leaping out of the shadows, you strike hard and fast, toppling the old crone with a vicious leg sweep and a right hook. You hear the satisfying crunch of broken hip replacements. Searching the lady's pocketbook, you find $20 and some cat food! Congratulations!
oh dear lord this is a rational and completely ordered version of my mess
THROW THE CHEESE
(3) You throw the cheese on the ground. All watching are suitably astonished at your lack of regard for starving African children.
Having realized that life is for the taking, I set out to make something of myself. The year is 986. I am in Constantinople.
(4) That's right, you're in the city of Istanbul! The year is 986, and the rise of Islam is nigh!
Hell yeah three points.
Kick a can.
(2) OW! You mixed up the letters n and r!
achieve understanding of the universe
(3) You definitely understand how the universe
doesn't work, at least.
Spawn as Cthulhu and begin destroying the natural order of the universe. Via standard eldritch fuckery.
(6) Greetings, Lord Cthulhu! The time for your rise is nigh! There is but one problem. A mortal, by the name of Handensen, holds the keys to R'lyeh! You must retrieve it from him before you can feel safe going out of town!
Wake up. If the robber is stll here, stay still until he leaves, then call an ambulance and the police. If I happened to see him, memorize any details of the robber.
(4) You manage to regain consciousness and crawl towards the phone. The robber is distracted.
WIZARD CLASS YO'
(5) You are a member of the most noble house of WIZIZARDS! Your class is extremely powerful, but may only wield sticks and must stroke their beards every turn.
Take a towel and dry myself up. "Thank God it was only a nightmare!"
(2) You can't find any towels. Or, for that matter, your apartment.
Go into damage control mode, invite her to a romantic dinner in a nuclear bunker.
(3) She seems to be pleased that you're trying, but refuses your advances.
Spinal_Taper: Irate- -1 to rationality, +1 to destructivity
Dermonster: Non-Existent Pacifism[============]
Sheb: Bandaged Injured Hand- -1 to actions requiring manual dexterity Romantic Involvement[============]
Leonkr9: Broken Ankle- No Leg-based Actions
poketwo: Sam Adams Nuclear Winter Six-Pack
Yoink: Filthy Luchre[============]
BFEL: On a magical journey.
Killerhellhound: Non-Existent, unable to dance
IcyTea31: 1 turn until death
smurfingtonthethird: unconscious, 2 turns to death
Pufferfish: Broken Foot: -1 to dancing
Author
Topic: ROLL TO WATCH BLAZING GLORY ACT IN A COMPLETELY REASONABLE MANNER (Read 59834 times)