Abosrb KJ.
5: KJ IS SUCCESSFULLY INCORPORATED INTO YOUR BEING AND YOU STEAL HIS SHAPE AND POWERS. RESPAWN KJ?
What, neither I or Earth died from the laser or screaming? Refocus the friendship of every person, animal and plant, even the dead ones, to one massive beam of awesomeness, fire at the Moon.
*clap* CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU BELIEVE! *clap* I'm talking to YOU, players! *clap* Go, my friends, destroy the Moon! *clap* With the power of friendship! *clap*
1: THE FRIENDSHIP BEAM DISSIPATES HALFWAY THROUGH PROCESS BECAUSE ALL THE PEOPLE DYING FROM THE EARTHS DEVESTATION ENDED A TON OF FRIENDSHIPS. FIFTY PERCENT OF THE REMAINING HUMAN POPULATION COMMITS SUICIDE. THE DISPERSAL OF THE FRIENDSHIP BEING SEEPS INTO THE UNIVERSE CAUSING IT TO SUDDEnly feel a lot more calm. Also you're dead again. Respawn?
TELL THEM TO WEEP NOT, FOR I SHALL RETURN A NEW BEING. SET OFF ON A QUEST OF SELF DISCOVERY. DISCOVER THAT I AM BEAUTIFUL EVEN IF I EAT ENTIRELY MULTIVERSES IN ONE SITTING.
1: You run off halfway through your farewell and start your binging and purging again. You are now in the Multiverse Eater rehab facility.
WAKE UP AND HUG THE MARTIANS AGAIN
DECIDE THAT WAR IS NO GOOD, TAKE UP FARMING
4: You successfully return to being the Martian spiritual leader, and they return to their old lifestyle. They're all still deaf though.
What must be done is obvious.
SELL SUPERAIDS-IMMUNE CANDIRU TO SCIENTISTS FOR MILLIONS, USE THEIR RESEARCH TO CURE SELF.
6: You sell the Candiru to the Scientists for all their money. However the surgery to remove it is botched and you die from bloodloss. Respawn?
OH NO YOU DON'T!!
Keep dragging the moon away from earth.
4: After a mighty tug of war you manage to pull the moon farther from the Earth. It is now in the vicinity of the asteroid belt.
Y. Then offer KJ a brofist of respectful rivalry.
4: You manage to Brofist him moments before he is consumed by darkpaladin109.
Revive myself, and start a gorilla war.
(mispeeled on porpoise)
4: You assemble an army of super-intelligent martian gorillas and begin attacking the fringes of Martian society. They are powerless to fight beck due to Descan reforming their culture.
Make Earth 2.0
3: You assemble the appropriate amount of space dust and rocks. Now you just have to wait...
SUMMON THE SPACE CATS OF 18 SCORPII II. CLAIM SATURN'S MOON TITAN AS A BASE.
5: The Space Cats prove to be quite the efficient builders, and you now have a fully equipped base, complete with bunkers, anti air defenses, rocket launchpads, R&D departments, and a giant talking head and silly robot for mission control.
Fly giant robot into moon. Make moon into giant robot. ROBOT COMBINE A GO GO. Fight universe eaters with giant robot.
4: The giant robot flys straight to the moon and punches a hole through the NAV-Shell.
6: It then merges with the Moon-Brain's core, and you begin attempting to pilot it. However it seems you've made a fatal miscalculation! The Moon-Brain overpowers your consciousness and turns your mind into mush before transforming into its new Super Robot form.
1: The Universe Eaters have all left the Universe at this point. By the way, Respawn?
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MUST DESTROY EARTH
1: The moon somehow mixes itself up, and finds up going in the wrong direction. It is now nearby Jupitor.
Fight back against he gorillas
6: The Martians form a secret society of enlightened ones who begin covertly fighting back against the gorillas. They get a bit ahead of themselves, and begin secretly pulling strings and doing dirty work to ensure martian prosperity behind the scenes...
Located around Jupiter
Is a transforming Super Robot
Bruised
Moon-Mars-Brain
Has Cheese Rockets for self propulsion
Protected by gashed NAV-Shell
Inhabited by Enlightened Farming Martians ruled by Descan and terrorized by Playergamer and his gorilla army
Covered in bitemarks