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[Yoink]

>CLING ON FOR DEAR LIFE

[kj1225]

Fight the moon.

[Furtuka]

TALK SLAVES INTO DESTROYING CAPTORS. WIN.

3: THEY JUST STARE AT YOU AND GO BACK TO WORK. I DON'T THINK THIS PLAN IS WORKING OUT

goddamnit

TELEPORT TO THE PLANET OF REALLY GULLIBLE SPACEWARRIORS, ENLIST THEIR AID AGAINST MOONBRAIN
FINDAGODDAMNFACE

1: YOU TELEPORT TO THE PLANET OF REALLY HUNGRY FACE-EATERS. THEY DON'T SEEM TOO INTERESTED IN FIGHTING THE MOONBRAIN

FACECOUNT: -2

START KICKING MARTIAN ASS.

6 vs 3: YOU OBLITERATE THE MARTIAN CIVILIZATION AND PUNCH THEM SO HARD YOU OPEN A HOLE INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION. UNIVERSE EATERS START POURING OUT.

Throw Yoink's nose at Descan.

3: DESPITE ALL YOUR EFFORT YOU CANNOT REMOVE YOINKS NOSE

>CLING ON FOR DEAR LIFE

6: YOU GRAB ON TO DARVI'S STACHE SO HARD YOU ACCIDENTALLY RIP MOST OF IT OFF. YOU ARE NOW HANGING ONTO HIS FACE BY A SINGLE THREAD

Fight the moon.

4: YOU ENGAGE THE MOON-MARS IN GENTLEMANLY FISTICUFFS, SCORING A VICIOUS JAB INTO ITS RIGHT SIDE


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ALLY WITH THE UNIVERSE EATERS

1: THE UNIVERSE EATERS IGNORE THE MOON-MARS-BRAIN AND BEGIN EATING PHOBOS AND DEIMOS

RECOVER FROM LOSSES

6: THE MARTIANS BEGIN REBUILDING THEIR SOCIETY FROM THE DEVASTATION LEFT BY VORTHON AND THE CAT RANGERS. THEY SOON GROW INTO A PEACEFUL UTOPIAN SOCIETY ON THE SURFACE OF THE MOON-MARS, KNOWING NOT OF WAR AND INSTEAD ONLY FARMING AND LOVE.

CONSUME

4: THE UNIVERSE EATERS LEAVE A SIZABLE HOLE IN SPACE TIME ORBITING THE MARS-MOON

Spoiler: MOON STATUS (click to show/hide)

IS FUSED WITH MARS TO BECOME A MOON-MARS-BRAIN
BRUISED JAW
PEACEFUL MARTIANS LIVING ON SURFACE
ORBITED BY RIP IN SPACE TIME LEFT BY UNIVERSE EATERS

[kj1225]

Continue fighting moon.

[Samarkand]

ENTER GAME AS UNIVERSE EATER. ALLY WITH FACE EATERS

[Darvi]

Remove face, reveal self as secret universe eater.

[Playergamer]

Hold the Martians hostage

[squidgen]

SCREW THIS. FLEE THE SOLAR SYSTEM, AND FAST

[Descan]

teleport to the martians and hug them

meditate among the Martian peoples to attain Marsvana (and a new face)

[Darvi]

If that doesn't work, I guess I can send you mine. Then you too can look pretty~

[Furtuka]

Continue fighting moon.

1: AS YOU ROLL UP YOUR NEXT PUNCH, THE MOON SLAMS INTO YOU WITH GREAT FORCE, SENDING YOU FLYING THROUGH SPACE AND EMBEDDING YOU IN MERCURY

ENTER GAME AS UNIVERSE EATER. ALLY WITH FACE EATERS

3: YOU ENTER THE GAME AS A POCKET DIMENSION EATER. THE FACE EATERS IGNORE YOU.

Remove face, reveal self as secret universe eater.

4: YOU REVEAL YOUR TRUE FORM. YOINK FALLS INTO THE VOID SCREAMING

Hold the Martians hostage

3: YOU ONLY MANAGE TO HOLD A SINGLE MARTIAN CHILD HOSTAGE, WHO ESCAPES WHEN YOU ARE EATING LUNCH

SCREW THIS. FLEE THE SOLAR SYSTEM, AND FAST

2: YOU ARE CAUGHT IN JUPITERS GRAVITY WELL AND ARE BEING SUCKED INTO THE RED STORM

teleport to the martians and hug them

meditate among the Martian peoples to attain Marsvana (and a new face)

5: YOU ASCEND AS THE MARTIAN SAVIOR AND SPIRITUAL LEADER. YOU ACHIEVE A FORM GREATER THAN ANY MERE MORTAL COULD ACHIEVE

FACECOUNT: 465


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DEFEND SELF AGAINST UNIVERSE EATERS

1: THE UNIVERSE EATERS DESCEND TO THE SURFACE AND START FEEDING

LEARN THE UNIVERSES SECRETS

4: MANY MARTIANS FOLLOW DESCAN'S EXAMPLE AND BECOME HIS DISCIPLES, BECOMING CLOSE TO ACHIEVING MARSVANA

THE UNIVERSE EATERS ARE UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE TO THE MARTIAN TERRITORIES

CONSUME

2: HOWEVER, THEIR TEETH ARE APPARENTLY UNSUITED TO EATING MARTIAN AND LUNAR SOIL. WHY? THEY'RE FROM OUTSIDE OF SPACETIME THE PHYSICS OF IT DON'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE.

Spoiler: MOON STATUS (click to show/hide)

IS FUSED WITH MARS TO BECOME A MOON-MARS-BRAIN
BRUISED JAW
PEACEFUL MARTIANS LIVING ON SURFACE STUDYING TO ACHIEVE MARSVANA
ORBITED BY RIP IN SPACE TIME LEFT BY UNIVERSE EATERS
UNIVERSE EATERS ATTEMPTING TO CONSUME SURFACE BUT FAILING

[kj1225]

RAgE MODE ACTIVATE! ABSORB MERCURY AND GROW BIGGER, CONTINUE FIGHT!

[Samarkand]

ACHIEVE MARSVANA AND ASCEND TO MULTIVERSE EATER

[Descan]

Fire a beam of enlightenment at the Universe Eater, turning it to "Oh maybe eating sentient beings or their homes is bad, maybe I should go find a dumb universe."

[Darvi]

Start eating Mars, thereby acquiring its powers.