Why is life so damned boring? It is just the same damn thing over and over and over and over. I don't have any real reason to do anything beyond fuck around online in a seemingly futile attempt to stave off the boredom. I used to feel things beyond boredom but lately I haven't been able to feel anything else. Life used to be fun, it used to provide joy and happiness naturally, that faded though, I replaced it with reading and fantasy. I made worlds in my head and populated them with characters, this never amounted to anything but it remains as something to do when I get bored, this game is one of those worlds, I will write out all my worlds simply because there is no reason to let the characters and universes die with me, but the one truth I see is that reality is a boring dreary place. I at one point started toying with people's minds and emotions I can read people and push them in any way I wish with simple words, it bores me and I rarely do it now, it was at best amusing and at worst tiring. That doesn't do anything now at all, I hate boredom. I replaced it with gaming, they were fun for a bit. Now I get bored of every gave I play if it doesn't kill me hundreds of times on the first level and is brutal for the remainder. Those still get boring really fast. I'm barely staving off the boredom lately this game is one of the projects I have been putting off for years, it in reality is a way to convey one of my worlds, I will be churning out various other games and stories as the years go on, I have nothing else to do, I have enough money to last me to my deathbed decades from now and I don't have any motivation beyond staving off the boredom. Life is wrong. I think sometimes that there was some cosmic fuckup and some random average jo got dumped into an magic filled amazing world that was meant for me and I got stuck with this shithole of a reality and even if I don't know that consciously, I subconsciously have been trying to fill an unfillable hole with fantasy. My question is why is reality so boring? Why can't it be more interesting? There is seemingly no reason for us to do anything, if I decided to not get out of bed tomorrow, or ever, all that would happen is this fantasy world I have made would die, along with many others I have made, you guys/girls/others would be a tad disappointed, but it wouldn't really affect you longterm, it may provide some slight inspiration later in your lives for a game or a book or something, but that is about it Oh, I just remembered I tried webcomics for a bit to help with the boredom, they stopped working a year ago, I have a bookmarks folder of over a hundred that I sorta stopped keeping up with, they don't help anymore. If I just stopped doing anything online, and just stayed in bed all day, I know a few people in other chat groups would miss me, but they would forget eventually, my disappearance may actually cause something for them since they are rather attached emotionally, but they would get over it. If I decided to never talk to anybody irl, I don't think anything would really change, some people might wonder where I am, but I don't have any major emotional or minor emotional attachments to any of them and they don't have any to me. Reality is boring, and it will continue to be, I don't plan on offing myself since that seems like a one way ticket to eternal boredom if there is an afterlife. I most certainly wouldn't want to go to heaven if there is one though, that would be so damned boring, anything fun wouldn't be allowed, I would probably find hell more interesting, at least there I would be feeling pain, at least that is some stimulation, better then eternal sit around and stare into space. If there is an afterlife, I hope it isn't boring, that would be horrid. I realize I could in theory do anything I want with my life, if I wanted to, I could probably figure out a way to take over the world, I don't think I ever will bother though, I don't think it would amuse me in the slightest, instead I will probably just churn out world after world, story after story, game after game, at least my characters will be immortal provided humanity doesn't die or enter a digital dark age... Most of them will be immortal at least since some of the characters die in every world I make. This game world a deviation from the actual world I made up years ago, in the real one, things happen quite differently then how they will happen, funny how slight input at some points can change worlds for better or for worse. That holds true in reality also, Hitler could have been a great man if he had had a slightly different childhood, most people turn out the way they are based off of their childhoods I've noticed. I don't have a flipping clue what went wrong with mine since I repressed pretty much all of it and can't remember much of it even when I try. Probably a good thing, from what I've learned, it wasn't a good childhood.But the fact remains, reality is absurdly boring and I am running out of things to do, it sucks, it really does.
I want a refund life, you gave me the wrong reality, give me the correct one, I didn't sign any fucking contract and this one is a pile of shit.