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[peregarrett]

Looks like Vlad wins the poll. I found three votes for him, and others got a single vote at least.

[MDFification]

All hail Baron Vlad Uristovitch von Demongate, First of his Name, Lord Captain of the Militia, Drinker of Sunshine and Used Boots Salesdwarf.

[peregarrett]

In the end of winter, the filthy goblins struck back again:



Everyone was called to arms. Merchants who've just moved off, got right in the middle of pikemen squad and was destroyed, but guards forced them to retreat too.

As for main gate, things were moving as usual. First they charged at the gate, got shot by crossbows and cut by traps, survivors ran for their lives.
Losses - two crossbowdwarves who was caught idling at the depot. Thanatos got his leg shot by some bowgoblin.
- Miss Thane! Miss Thane! - cried some dwarven child - There's a troll under the bridge!
- It's just a fairy tales, don't worry...
- No, I've seen it! It fell under the bridge when tried to dodge a trap!
- Oh, really? I'll take care of it.

1st Granite, 658
This "evening prayer" was devoted to the Vlad who's about to get his Baron title approved. Everyone got a toast for him and party was loud and fun.
Except for Cornelius. He brought Tarmid to the corner and said:
- The year is over. You promised me to take the rulership back!
- Sorry, Brother, but I can't do it now. Those reasons are still... active.
- But that's just not mine! I can't rule people properly, I'm just a priest, and I want to get back into my chapel and hospital. Thanatos got a serious injure in the last battle, you know. And the magma pumpstack isn't finished yet. So, I don't fit for this position, now I see it even better than a year ago. These are my reasons.
- And who you're going to pass your overseership to?
- Vlad. He's a baron, he's the captain of Vultures also... He will do fine.
- Well... okay then. Let's take a new barrel and punch him with those news!
Save is here: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=8546
Good luck, Baron Vladimir

[MDFification]

Introduction: Vhat

"Hey Captain, wake up!"
"Thanatos, I swear to gods, how many times have I told you not to disturb my before noon followingk evening prayers?"
"Just wanted to offer you congratulations from the rest of the squad, sir. First a Baron, then an Overseer! Things are really going your way for once. No more taking orders for you!"
"... vhat the hell happened last night?"
"Booze make you go deaf? I said congradulations on your promotions, sir."
"... I'm the Overseer?"
"And a baron. Thane might be less than thrilled about that."
"... vhat?"
"Anything you want me to say to the rest of the militia?"
"... vhoever's idea of joke this is, it's not funny. Actually, it's not funny at all."
"... I'm being serious, sir. Are you alright?"
"No, Thanatos. I'm in charge. How the hell vould I be alright?"
"When you put it like that sir... you might want to tone it down a little. It doesn't inspire confidence."
"Vhat if I told everyone precisely how doomed ve are?"
"Not helpful, sir."
"... vere is Tarmid? He can sort all this out."
"At the schoolhouse, sir. Man, evening prayers must be a blast."
"Don't talk about Evening Prayers, Thanatos. If the time comes, Evening Prayers comes to you.


"VHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M SERIOUSLY THE OVERSEER!"
"Exactly what I said, your lordship."
"Stop callingk me that, Tarmid. Vait, I'm the Baron, aren't I? You are hereby by the grace of the gods yada yada yada ordered to stop callingk me your lordship, yes?"
"As you command, Captain, though if I may you would be wise to respect the importance of your rank."
"Vell, I guess I'm stuck vith that, but the Overseer thingk definately has to go. Can't I just order someone else to do it?"
"I'm afraid that would be dereliction of duty, Captain, and you would undoubtably receive prison time. Nonetheless, I can inform Sir Brenzen and Talonis Wolf of your choice if you really insist."
"... Brenzen and Talonis?"
"Well, in the advent of an Overseer's desertion, Sir Brenzen would of course be forced to temporarily assume command of the fortress as the second-highest ranking citizen. And Talonis, I don't doubt, would be required by law to administer to your person a beating."
"Ve're talking about the dwarf vho kills goblins vith his bare hands for a living, yes?"
"I'm afraid so, Captain."
"... can you get me briefed on the status of the fort's supplies? Maybe beingk the Overseer vouldn't be so bad."
"I had a feeling you'd come ask that, Captain."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Is everything to your satisfaction?"
"Vell, ve have twice the minimum amount of booze I'd recommend as rations for a fortress this size, so ve can afford to be a little liberal vith it. And gods, that is a gigantic amount of meat and fish. Brother Cornelius really kept us vell stocked, huh?"
"The good Brother delegated efficiantly, Captain."
"Vell if dear Brother Cornelius can do this job drunk, maybe Vlad can do this, yes? Carry on, Tarmid. Ve'll be speaking again soon."


"Greetingks, citizens of Demongate! It is I, Vlad. I have thingks to tell you. Please quite down. Please stop talkingk. Stop talking or I vill be cuttingk you. I give warningk. Oh, quiet, now, are ve? Good. Thank you.
First thingks first. I notice that despite this fort beingk vhat, eight years old, the sleeping quarters for normal citizens still don't have even cabinets and coffers, not even smoothingk. I know ve can't really afford to put luxury ahead of the fortress but this is too far. Ve are not animals. You vill be receiving cabinets and coffers as soon as possible.
Secondly, to vhoever manufactured so many damn slabs: I vill be cuttingk you. Seriously, vhen I need to put a ghost to rest, I don't have time to order 27 slabs built just so I can see vhich one is engraved properly. But Vlad, you ask, vhy can't you just follow the specific slab through it's journey to the craftsdwarves? Vell, curious citizen, your imput is valued and you are hereby advised to go keep the goblins at bay yourself for once.
Vell, back to vork. Ve have plenty of cleanup to do after the siege, yes? Some dwarves still haven't been taken to the hospital or received a proper burial. Vhat are you vaitingk for. Move!"
"Will you seriously cut us?"
"No promises. Get to vork pronto. And tell anyone in the militia you see ve have a meetingk in the barracks. That includes the Knights."


"You think he'll be alright, scribe?"
"I think his lordship will do just fine."

[MDFification]

3rd of Granite: It's a Clusterfuck, Folks

It really takes you 3 days to get everyone together in the barracks? Vhat the hell, dwarf?
"Sorry sir"
"Vhatever. That's probably just more evidence that vhat I'm about to do is completely necessary. Ve're not an efficient command structure at all. Therefore, as Overseer, I'm reorganizing the militia. It hurts me to break up the Vultures, it really does. But this is for the best.
Those of you usingk melee veapons vill be arraigned into three squads depending on your equipment. Axedwarves will be commingk with me. Sworddwarfs vill be assembled into a new squad under Thanatos, vho is hereby promoted to Captain. The rest of you vill be members of Thane's squad until ve get enough of you to justify a new squad. Archers, you vill be stayingk in your current squads for now.
Ve'll all need a little time to adjust to this, and ve're far overdue for some R&R anyway. So, followingk this meetingk, you are hereby temporarily relieved of duty. Vhen I think ve're all fit to resume duty, and Cornelius has given you all a checkup, I'll bring you all back here. Yes, Brenzen?"
"Sir Brenzen, your lordship."
"I told you to stop callingk me that. Vhat is it."
"I'm confused as to how you believe you possess the authority to take measures such as this. I have been willing to accept your advice in the past as you and Captain Thane work so closely together, but appointing a Captain is far beyond your mandate. Even if it were, why are my Knights and I present?"
"Heh. I vas hoping you'd ask that. As Overseer, you are hereby stripped of the rank of Militia Commander. This title is bestowed upon Vlad.
"..."
In addition to this, I'm afraid that I am drafting one of your knights into my squad. You know the one. It's not Artyom.
"You honestly think you can get away with this?"
"You honestly think you can get away with this, sir. And yes, I'm afraid that I can. Unless you'd like to take it up vith the King. Dismissed.


"Can you please tell the doctors they're relieved of non-medical duties? Honestly, I can't see vhy our talented staff is off movingk rocks or vhatever it is non-fightingk types do vhen they're not infringingk on my lootingk racket. Ve might need them."
"Without the hospital staff or the militia performing hauling, we'll start to encounter an increasing backlog, your lordship."
"And if the militia is distracted from trainingk or can't make it to vhere I order them to go on time, goblins vill use our lovely new cathedral to play a spirited game of head football. You're the manager, you figure it out."
"Very well, your lordship."
"Stop callingk me that. If you call me that at Evening Prayers I swear to Armok you're fired."
"Anything else, Vlad?"
"Nothing but the list of equipment I vant forged vhen the new smelters are dug out. And Tarmid should be able to handle that bit of logistics herself."
"And her... colleague?"
"You don't seriously believe she's a demon, do you? She's just some poor mad dwarf. I already told Brenzen I'm not tryingk her for heresy, understood? Just because I actually like you doesn't mean my answer vill change. Might want to tell Brenzen to lighten up too, yes?"
"As you say".
"I think you are meaningk, 'yes, Vlad'. But seriously, his veins jut out and he gets all red sometimes. He might vant to see Brother Cornelius about that."
"Speaking of the new smelters, they're much too far away for efficient production. Can't we just keep using our ordinary fuel?
"Ve could use a permanent base downstairs anyway. A dining room, some stockpiles, maybe even somethingk that can be used as a makeshift hospital... I have a bad feelingk though."
"Why is that?"
"I know vhy ve don't vant dwarves down there very frequently. I heard rumors that ve had adamantine, but couldn't believe ve'd find it and not use it. And I hoped the stuff about the veird structure vasn't true. I swear, I heard something movingk in there. I'm havingk the access to that part of the cavern removed."


"I wonder why the Overseer wants a bridge built here?"
"He's using it to crush junk, like cloths too big to be looted. Most of that stuff we got off the elven caravan's going to wind up underneath here too, apparently. After he's... made sure nothing goes to waste, of course."
"I heard they found a lot of exotic booze in that caravan."
"Well, no sense leaving it out to spoil. Somebody should enjoy that."
"I hear he sent someone to bring a cup of the looted sunshine to Gnora."
"Now that, Urist, I would have paid good money to see. Poor sod still got all his teeth?"
"Of course. Talonis Wolf was right there."
"That guy scares me, Urist."
"You should have seen when one of the Vultures looted those wolfskin boots. I thought he was going to break their arm."
"Stop talking and haul."
"Wuss."


OOC: Sorry for stealing your soldier, 4mask, but training an axedwarf with miners is just wasteful.
I'm barely into the turn and there's already a boatload to do. So far we have:
-Setting up the Magma Forges
-Adamantine Production
-Starting a proper graveyard (I can't find the current one)
-Looting, Melting, and Smashing on a large scale 
-Totally reequipping the military with higher quality arms and armor.
-Doing something about that fortress...
-Furnishing and smoothing all our living space 
-Somehow putting this to rest without having to build 27 slabs and then deconstruct 26
-Getting morale back up to a stable point. Seriously, it's bad. I'm not going to be the guy to loose our fort to a tantrum spiral twice.
-Continually taunt Brenzen
-?
-PROFIT

[4maskwolf]

I should probably do the scene I was planning on doing with the stranger arriving.


Sir Brenzen walked slowly back towards the barracks, taking a swig of plump helmet wine from his waterskin.  He scanned the dwarves around him out of habit, looking for evidence that one of the dwarves was a vampire, when he noticed a figure approaching him.  He peered closer at it, but could not see who it was beneath the hood.

"That is Sir Brenzen under the armor, I presume?"

Sir Brenzen stiffened.

"You have found him, yes."

"Excellent," the figure said, pulling off his cloak.  Sir Brenzen's mouth dropped open slightly, and he fell to one knee immediately.

"Master Urist, I am so sorry, I was not aware you had arrived."

"There is no problem, Sir Brenzen.  You were not supposed to be aware of my presence."

"I'm sure that Brother Cornelius would be more than happy to..."

Master Urist held up his hand for silence.

"That will be unnecessary, Sir Brenzen.  I merely wished to pass on the congratulations of the council to you and visit Tarmid briefly.  There are important letters he needs to receive."

"Congratulations, milord?"

"Yes, Sir Brenzen, congratulations on your most recent promotion."

Master Urist pulled a sword from a scabbard at his side, placing the flat of the blade atop Sir Brenzen's helm.

"With the power invested in me by the council, I proclaim you a High Magebane of the Order of the Knights of St. Zane.  You henceforth retain all the responsibilities and privileges of the rank, including the power to take a personal apprentice to train."

Master Urist sheathed his sword.

"You can discuss with Tarmid as to the particulars of the rank, since I'm sure you've been too busy to look over his books.  And if you would be so kind, could you direct me to his rooms..."


I'll send you a pm with regards to the letters you are receiving, Rhaken, but I'm also leaving plenty of room for you to take the story however you wish.

Stop messing with my squads or there'll be hell to pay, MDF. 

[MDFification]

Stop messing with my squads or there'll be hell to pay, MDF. 

Is the hell I'd be paying provide more or less pain than having to watch cross-training lower our combat capabilities? 

[4maskwolf]

Stop messing with my squads or there'll be hell to pay, MDF. 

Is the hell I'd be paying provide more or less pain than having to watch cross-training lower our combat capabilities? 

Depends on how much Vlad likes the HFS.  Alternatively, being burned at the stake.

Also, we need a MUCH bigger military if we want to survive.

[MDFification]

Stop messing with my squads or there'll be hell to pay, MDF. 

Is the hell I'd be paying provide more or less pain than having to watch cross-training lower our combat capabilities? 

Depends on how much Vlad likes the HFS.  Alternatively, being burned at the stake.

Also, we need a MUCH bigger military if we want to survive.

All the more reason to speed up training.
We can currently handle most sieges thrown at us, but that's mainly due to an absurdly large line of weapon traps. By the end of the year I aim to have recruited maybe another 3 sworddwarfs and 3 hammerdwarfs, in addition to anyone with a weapon skill that comes our way, so our total will be at least 22 melee soldiers and 12+ archers. What I'm really worried about is those elf ambushes that will doubtless be coming; a sudden rain of arrows on unsuspecting dwarves would be a real pain in the arse, especially if it happens to come immediately after a regular siege, which it will of course do. Morale is really low thanks to our lack of rooms and high weather exposure.

[Gnorm]

Gnora sat in her office, enjoying her afternoon rum alone. Some time had passed since her meeting with Thane, and although they hadn't yet gone to see Tarmid, knowledge that Thane was at least trying to control the situation had slightly assuaged her fears. As far as Gnora could tell, Thane was a sensible, intelligent dwarf whose only major mistake was getting involved with Vladimir. She let the warm Dwarven alcohol slide down her throat; just the type that the dwarves were meant to brew.

There was a sudden knock on her door, followed by the sudden entry of two dwarves without invitation. One of the two was the mighty captain of the guard, Talonis Wolf, and a shorter dwarf bearing a wooden cup with a small note attached.

"What do ya'll want?" asked Gnora.

"Miss Gnora," the shorter one began. "By the courtesy of his lordship, the baron Vladimir Uristovich of—"

"He's the baron!" cried the faarm-girl.

"Calm down. His lordship wishes to display to you a sign of peace between your party and his."

"This better be damn good!"

The short dwarf placed the wooden cup onto Gnora's desk. Taking it up immediately, Gnora glanced into the cup, noticed that it contained liquid, and gently touched it to her lips, half surprised that it didn't smell of urine. The taste that came to her lips was, however, a worse taste to her than that of Vlad's bodily fluids. She had never had a drink of the substance herself, though she could recognize the smell of it readily. She tore the cup away from her lips, causing some of the drink to spill down her lips and chin and onto her bosom.

"Sunshine! ya'll are bringin' me sunshine!" she screamed. She tore the note off of the cup and read it quickly.

"Dear farm-girl,

I get the fortress real booze. You can be thankingk Vlad later, yes?"

Gnora marched up to the small dwarf, her arms outstretched as if she was ready to strangle him. A sudden motion towards her by Captain Wolf was enough to make her think twice about her actions, and she quickly adopted a falsely sweet disposition.

"Would you boys mind gettin' me an appointment with our baron?"

"Well, we can see if—"

"Now!" she yelled, dropping her façade of happiness.

[TheFlame52]

Engraved on Flame/Unib's bedroom wall
I keep trying to meet with the mayor, but every time I introduce myself he collapses in fits of laughter. I can't even finish my sentences without being interrupted. When he stops laughing he says things like "you, a demon?" and continues laughing. Then he tells me to get back to work making weapons. Why does nobody respect me around here?

OOC:

-Looting, Melting, and Smashing on a large scale 

FUCKING FINALLY

[MDFification]

OOC:

-Looting, Melting, and Smashing on a large scale 

FUCKING FINALLY

I set up a smasher in the palisade for easy-access dumping and smashing if FPS becomes a problem. Trying this in my other forts has led to some amusing situations, like the time I accidentally catapulted the human diplomat into the solid-gold pyramid (he was fine. I kind of wish he wasn't).
Anyway, some important notes for smashing/FPS;
-As with last game, eventually the sheer volume of tattered cloths is going to hurt FPS. If you see this start to happen, start smashing. We can replace clothes easily (even with goblinite) so there's no need to reuse old clothes.
-Clothes that are too big or too small to wear should also be smashed when framerate drops. There are actually hundreds of these on the map right now thanks to the sheer volume of trolls we have.

-We have like a billion blocks. We will likely not need new blocks for years. Don't tie up time and framerate making more blocks. especially if it's at the expense of furnishing basic rooms, you know, 7 years into the fort It's a good thing to have spare blocks however as mined space itself drains framerate, so minimizing that is a good thing^tm
-Engravings, believe it or not, drop framerate. Don't make pointless engravings; reserve them for rooms you want to increase in value. Smoothing stone is no problem though.

[4maskwolf]

OOC:

-Looting, Melting, and Smashing on a large scale 

FUCKING FINALLY

I set up a smasher in the palisade for easy-access dumping and smashing if FPS becomes a problem. Trying this in my other forts has led to some amusing situations, like the time I accidentally catapulted the human diplomat into the solid-gold pyramid (he was fine. I kind of wish he wasn't).
Anyway, some important notes for smashing/FPS;
-As with last game, eventually the sheer volume of tattered cloths is going to hurt FPS. If you see this start to happen, start smashing. We can replace clothes easily (even with goblinite) so there's no need to reuse old clothes.
-Clothes that are too big or too small to wear should also be smashed when framerate drops. There are actually hundreds of these on the map right now thanks to the sheer volume of trolls we have.

-We have like a billion blocks. We will likely not need new blocks for years. Don't tie up time and framerate making more blocks. especially if it's at the expense of furnishing basic rooms, you know, 7 years into the fort It's a good thing to have spare blocks however as mined space itself drains framerate, so minimizing that is a good thing^tm
-Engravings, believe it or not, drop framerate. Don't make pointless engravings; reserve them for rooms you want to increase in value. Smoothing stone is no problem though.

I can believe that engravings drop it, as the game has to store what is in the engraving.

Also, I blame everyone else for the lack of rooms, since I went close to the beginning.

Also, VLAD DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VAULT.  I DIDN'T TELL THE REST OF THE MILITARY.  I ONLY ENTRUSTED TARMID AND ARTYOM WITH THAT INFORMATION, INCLUDING WHERE THE KEYS TO GET IN ARE.

Which brings me to the inevitable question: has anyone fucked with the vault?

[Senshuken]

OOC:

-Looting, Melting, and Smashing on a large scale 

FUCKING FINALLY

I set up a smasher in the palisade for easy-access dumping and smashing if FPS becomes a problem. Trying this in my other forts has led to some amusing situations, like the time I accidentally catapulted the human diplomat into the solid-gold pyramid (he was fine. I kind of wish he wasn't).
Anyway, some important notes for smashing/FPS;
-As with last game, eventually the sheer volume of tattered cloths is going to hurt FPS. If you see this start to happen, start smashing. We can replace clothes easily (even with goblinite) so there's no need to reuse old clothes.
-Clothes that are too big or too small to wear should also be smashed when framerate drops. There are actually hundreds of these on the map right now thanks to the sheer volume of trolls we have.

-We have like a billion blocks. We will likely not need new blocks for years. Don't tie up time and framerate making more blocks. especially if it's at the expense of furnishing basic rooms, you know, 7 years into the fort It's a good thing to have spare blocks however as mined space itself drains framerate, so minimizing that is a good thing^tm
-Engravings, believe it or not, drop framerate. Don't make pointless engravings; reserve them for rooms you want to increase in value. Smoothing stone is no problem though.

I can believe that engravings drop it, as the game has to store what is in the engraving.

Also, I blame everyone else for the lack of rooms, since I went close to the beginning.

Also, VLAD DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VAULT.  I DIDN'T TELL THE REST OF THE MILITARY.  I ONLY ENTRUSTED TARMID AND ARTYOM WITH THAT INFORMATION, INCLUDING WHERE THE KEYS TO GET IN ARE.

Which brings me to the inevitable question: has anyone fucked with the vault?

"I know what now?" ~Artyom

Well, Artyom hasn't touched the vault to my knowledge. But then again I need to be updated on Artyom's current status, since no one has told me anything about him career or personality wise since the fort started.

[MDFification]

Also, VLAD DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VAULT.  I DIDN'T TELL THE REST OF THE MILITARY.  I ONLY ENTRUSTED TARMID AND ARTYOM WITH THAT INFORMATION, INCLUDING WHERE THE KEYS TO GET IN ARE.

Which brings me to the inevitable question: has anyone fucked with the vault?

I don't think I have. I've never managed to find the vault (or look for that matter). What function does the Vault serve? Can you detail where it is so I can avoid it?
Anway, playing past the 5th of granite will happen at some point today. I've done a lot of designation for digging, dumping, reorganizing etc. It's designation hell out there folks.