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Author Topic: Should I be worried?  (Read 2020 times)

tilly

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Should I be worried?
« on: March 06, 2014, 01:41:04 am »

Just watched a movie with my girlfriend at the theater. It was a love story.
After I took her home I had text her saying that I really enjoyed the evening with her and was glad we got to spend the time together.
and she replies with "Me too... I wish our love was like that lol" like it was a joke and when I didnt respond  she went "No??... yess... maybe??"

I said "we're close but, im happy with who we are. I can't say I'm longing for something depicted in fiction. We just are not them."
and she replies with "I know but, I can dream."

Is this a sign of relationship problems or am I just looking at this the wrong way?
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Vector

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2014, 02:51:07 am »

She's saying "I wish the relationship were more romantic."
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DJ

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2014, 03:52:23 am »

It depends on what movie you were watching. If it's Twilight, yeah, you should be worried.
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BFEL

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2014, 07:00:37 am »

It depends on what movie you were watching. If it's Twilight, yeah, you should be worried.

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freeformschooler

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2014, 09:22:12 am »

Always be wary of any girlfriend who compares real life situations to make believe movie situations. That's a bad sign. It shows that she is not satisfied with what she has AND gets her aspirational images - "this is what should be" - from movies. Yikes.
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Tiruin

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #5 on: March 06, 2014, 03:46:46 pm »

We can't exactly pinpoint the problem--as I believe its through you knowing how she behaves to get the idea.

Though Vector does get the most correct point there. When stuffs are said about admiring how something is like something, this usually pertains to how it is done (ie openness in showing romance and such) and not exactly what is being done. I guess.

Always be wary of any girlfriend who compares real life situations to make believe movie situations. That's a bad sign. It shows that she is not satisfied with what she has AND gets her aspirational images - "this is what should be" - from movies. Yikes.
Or that she sees the sentimentality in said situation and applies it by stating it out. Not everything is objective. :p
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Knight of Fools

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2014, 04:25:18 pm »

Relationships 101: Communication. If you're really worried, you should just talk to her. Ask her if she's happy with the relationship, if there's anything more that she expects from you that you may or may not be giving. You tell her how you feel, she tells you how she feels, and you work together, compromising if necessary, to make sure you're both happy and on the same page.

If neither of you are willing to communicate... Then yes, you should be worried. Relationships depend on being open and working through problems together. If you just try to guess at what she expects you'll both end up unhappy.
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Tiruin

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #7 on: March 06, 2014, 08:51:24 pm »

^
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Bortness

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2014, 08:12:59 pm »

Run like the wind.

Her ideas that your lives "should" or even "could" be like the movies is... insane.

Insane.

Run.  Now.  You will regret it later if you don't.

I've lived it.  Run.
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Tiruin

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2014, 08:15:57 pm »

Speaking out of context: You do need to specify the situation, OP, or you'll get many interpretations of what answers you may need. :)
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The Fool

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2014, 08:27:18 pm »

Just watched a movie with my girlfriend at the theater. It was a love story.
After I took her home I had text her saying that I really enjoyed the evening with her and was glad we got to spend the time together.
and she replies with "Me too... I wish our love was like that lol" like it was a joke and when I didnt respond  she went "No??... yess... maybe??"

I said "we're close but, im happy with who we are. I can't say I'm longing for something depicted in fiction. We just are not them."
and she replies with "I know but, I can dream."

Is this a sign of relationship problems or am I just looking at this the wrong way?

I think she just wants to be a little more serious. I did this with a boyfriend myself. You're pretty far from having a rocky relationship if she's saying that. She isn't looking to absorb your life, just to be more romantic.

If you aren't ready for a serious relationship or aren't sure yet, say so. My boyfriend dumped me after I tried to be serious without any warning. Just a text. I was confused, angry, and upset that day. Don't do what he did, talk about it if you're going this route.
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Neonivek

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #11 on: March 11, 2014, 01:24:14 am »

As well they aren't really looking for the non-stop parade of romance either (Heck secret be told even males like to be romanced to an extent, I at least know I would).

Anyhow no it isn't a sign your relationship is rocky. Usually the only reason why romantic situations like you see in movies can't happen is because of how make believe they are. Some of my favorite parodies I ever seen is where they basically have one person recite lines from a romance (or romantic song) and the other person reacts like a normal person would.

In fact I'd take it as a good sign, that she instantly thinks of you when she is thinking of an ideal romantic relationship.

Look at how she written it. She didn't blame you and she even said "our love".

If anything I'd take it as maybe you should Woo her.
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TheFish

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #12 on: March 12, 2014, 05:28:46 am »

I can kinda relate here, my ex used to say things like "I wish you were more like Gerard Butler" whenever we saw him in a movie. The best one was PS I Love You when she said I should be more like the character from that movie - my response: "What, dead?" time to get out when she came back with "Yeah so long as you wrote me lots of letters first"

Good times!
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #13 on: March 12, 2014, 01:54:03 pm »

Vector jumps in with a perfect translation from Femalespeak to Malespeak on Post #2.
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Zrk2

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Re: Should I be worried?
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2014, 08:39:29 pm »

Vector is pretty good at the logic, and the common sense. It's good to see someone here is, because I sure as hell aren't.
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