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Destroyers

Light Cruisers

Heavy Cruisers

Battleships

Submarines

Light Carriers

Aircraft Carriers

[Nighthawk]

Abuse..? I could never do that...

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that there isn't one...

[IronyOwl]

You're fat and slow, Blaze. By the time you arrive at the battle, your entire squad will already have been defeated, toyed with, humiliated, had fun with, punished, played with, instructed, rewarded, taught their place, interrogated, and stabbed.

And then you wonder why every time you meet "allies" they're all wearing leather collars and trying to slap you into fuzzy manacles.

[MaximumZero]

begin the torrent of abuse!

I'll go get a paddle.

[n9103]

*mumblegrumble*selfdepreciation*grumble*moredamagethanIcoulddo*grumblemumble*
As someone with more than enough self-esteem/self-respect issues in dealing with my disability, I ain't touchin this one.
(Well, not in the intended manner. Might get all Tokyo Subway on it though. )

^{Only if you wanted me to of course. Non-con ain't appealing, regardless of context.}

[Sinistar]

>__>

<__<

*  Sneakily applies for 7 days to Die.

[Shakerag]

Bouchart: Ziggurat
Pondicherry: Reassembly
Shadowlord: Homeworld Remastereed Collection

Go ahead and start vote things. Internet's been kinda screwy lately.

I've been trying to work myself up for an update, but my fingers are too fat to hit the proper keys, and I get winded easily...

Obviously, this is a sign that I must be guilted into making one; so begin the torrent of abuse!

FTFY

[Blaze]

Bouchart: Ziggurat
Pondicherry: Reassembly
Shadowlord: Homeworld Remastered Collection
Sinistar: 7 Days to Die

Bouchart rolled 1d20 → [10] = (10)
Pondicherry rolled 1d20 → [17]= (17)
Bouchart was forced to join Pondicherry's ship! As a ramming plate! His end was as his beginning, quick and messy.

Shadowlord rolled 1d20 → [15] = (15)
Sinistar rolled 1d20 → [20] = (20)
Sinistar survived 6 days. Which was enough time for Shadowlord to blow up his entire fleet when a fighter flew in front of his mothership's siege cannon!

Pondicherry rolled 1d20 → [5] = (5)
Sinistar rolled 1d20 → [10] = (10)
Pondicherry accidentallied the reassembly array, sending an innumerable number of tiny portions of himself into innumerable directions.
Sinistar used one of those portions to build a gun. Happy End.

Sinistar is the winner!
Please PM me to break a leg.

Current Budget: $24

Monday.

I "should" have a short update by Wednesday.

[Sinistar]

:O



... now I REALLY have to finish that "Thank you" project I was talking about few pages ago.

[pondicherry]

NOOOOO  ...

[Blaze]

Spoiler: Cloud Dragon (click to show/hide)

: This is aircraft carrier locker room...
: Are you waiting for an invitation?
: It's just... what if someone's in there?
: We've got the clearance and it's an all-female building; why would it matter?
: ...
: Most of the other ships have already finished here, so I'm sure there won't be that many left.
: Don't worry, there's plenty of space for you to fit in.
: Waaaaaah!
: Look, if it bothers you that much, we can just head in, drop off the laundry, grab a towel, and had to the docks. Quick and simple.
: But what about the fittings?
: The flight decks and launch bays are stored internally, and we don't have any external equipment; so it's unnecessary.
: So just get in and out?
: That's the idea.
: Okay... Here I go!

*Clack*
*Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump*
*MMPH!*

: Whoa!
: What was that?! Did we run aground?!
: Mafuyu! What's going on up there?!

"Mmph mmm mmph mm mmph mm!"

: Damnit! Get me a visual!
: Visual coming up on screen... now!

: Mountains?!
: Reverse! Get us out of here!



: Ugh, I'm sorry miss...
: Hello?
: Aaaaah!
: It's the other one!
: Damnit! The area's too small to launch planes in!
: ...
: ...
: Have we... met?
: Y-Yesterday...
: ...
: I'm sorry, I don't recall... Who are you?
: ... Mafuyu...
: Oh, you're the new girl.
: I'm the name ship of the Unryuu class aircraft carriers, pleased to meet you.
: (A handshake?)
: (Just play it cool and we'll get through this.)
: Mafuyu, aircraft carrier, I guess that makes me the name ship as well.
: Since you're new, you must be a bit lost.
: A little yes... Could you tell me where to go from here?
: Of course, but before that...
: Could you tell me why we're shaking hands?
: (Oh dear, a faux pax.)
: I'm sorry, I thought... for introductions...
: Ah yes, I'm the name ship of the Unryuu class aircraft carriers, pleased to meet you.
: (Or not.)
: Uh... M-Mafuyu, aircraft carrier.
: Since you're new, you must be a bit lost. Do you need any assistance?
: A little yes, if you could tell me where to go from here...
: You should head to the locker room of the appropriate class.
: Heavy Cruiser right?
: Aircraft Carrier.
: Ah, then you should head to the aircraft carrier lockers.
: Isn't this the right area then?
: It is?
: I'm sorry, I must've walked into the wrong locker. Oil tanker right?
: Aircraft Carrier.
: Oh, I'm so glad to meet a new fellow carrier. I'm Unryuu.
: (Houston, we have a problem.)
: C-Could you just tell me where the docks are please?
: The docks are located on the southeastern part of the base.
: Yes... that's where we are right now.
: It is?
: I'm sorry, I must've walked into-
: No, you're in the right- Could you just tell me how to get from here to the docks?
: You should go to the appropriate locker room before heading to the docks. Submarine right?
: Aircraft Carrier!
: Oh, I'm glad to-
: Just. Docks. Please.
: Oh of course, but before that...
: Who are you?
: We're speaking the same language so why can't we communicate?!
: Konnichiwa?
: That's not what I meant!
: ... Ni Hao?
: (Don't just stand there! Help me!)
: (No! Let go! She needs to die!)
: There you are Unryuu!
: Ah, Amagi, I was just about to head to the docks...
: You've already been to the docks! Three times!
: I have?
: Anyway, let me introduce you to Scinfaxi, Submersible Oil Cruiser.
: Mafuyu! Aircraft! Carrier!
: I'll take care of things here, so you go on ahead to the mess hall.
: But going without washing is unhygienic...
: It's fine for today!
: Okay...




: I'm sorry about that, I hope my older sister didn't give you any problems; she's a little... forgetful.
: ("A little"?)
: I'm Amagi, second ship of the Unryuu class. Mafuyu-chan right? Did you need any assistance?
: The docks...
: Of course. You seem to have your fittings off already; so I'll just drop these in the bin and show you where it is.

Hey!





"HEY!"




"AOBA! NO CAMERAS IN THE DOCKS!"
"Shoot! They caught me!"


*Signal Lost*

: It really is like an outdoor bath!
: It is rather nice isn't it?
: Now, go ahead and find a rinse station an-

"Look! It's the new girl!"
"Hey! Come over here with us!"
"No! Over here!"
"There's plenty of room over here!"

: Hey now! At least let her rinse off first!
: Don't mind them, the shared large bath is open for socializing. Just go join any group you feel like, but feel free to take a more private bath if you'd prefer.
: I assume you were given repair materials and instructed on how to use them?
: Yes, I was.
: Then I'll be off then, I'm a bit worried about Unryuu.
: Hm?
: Wha- Unryuu? What are you still doing here?!
: ... Is that a trick question?

Spoiler: Swing Batta Batta (click to show/hide)

: Come to think of it, who did we assign as maintenance chief again?
: Uh... Crew list says "Batter".
: Never heard of him.
: He came highly recommended, his efficiency ratings are off the charts.
: Yeah... but there's a long list of crew complaints against him...
:  Well how bad could he be?

*Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!*

: Chief open the door!
: Chief!
: Cheef!
: Cheefe!
: Ch33f!
: Ch33f3!

*Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!*


*Kthunk"

*THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!*
Purification in progress, please wait warmly.
*THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!*

: I told you never to bang on the door you insufferable asscabinets.
: Kyahaha! Being hit on the head with a bat really hurts!
: Why was I the only one hit twice?
: Now since it seems necessary, remind me of the rules I set on the first day.
: "If you are a god, we are all less than droppings of ants in comparison. And as such, we will do everything you say without question."
: Rule number two.
: "Do not interrupt you while you're talking".
: Rule number- What is it?
: Does raising our hand count as interrupting?

*THWACK!*

: Yes it does.
: Uu~, you could have at least given me a warning first.
: Rules number three.
: "Never look, touch, or even think of anything in your office, including the door."
: And if you break any of those rules?
: "You'll spread us onto a spit and drive an bulldozer up our butts!"
: And who broke rule number three?
: All of us!
: Damn, I don't have nearly enough bulldozers. So instead you're all working triple shifts this week.
: And just in time too. Because I just had everyone else transferred into separate divisions. That means each one of you has to do the work of 150 fairies.
: Yeah! More rooms for us!
: Hell no, you're all being moved into one room.
: Sleepovers!
: Whaaaat?! Why?!
: Their names were too long and I couldn't be bothered remembering them.
: So what did you ball-tripping turdnuggets bother me for?
: We're about to enter the docks, and they need maintenance crew.
: About goddamn time.
: You, your voice is freaking annoying like a fangirl on helium, so take the left side.
: らじゃー！
: You, and you, follow her. Plan 14a, 14d, and 17b.
: Sir!
: You, you're with me, we're taking the right. If you slow me down I'll pull your intestines out your ass with an rusty coat hanger.
: Yes sir!
: And me chief?
: You're cleaning the incinerator.
: But we can't turn off the incinerator.
: For another three hours yes.
: I can't clean the incinerator while it's on!
: Not with that attitude.
: But cheeeeeef.
: Fine, go through all crew rooms and confiscate all the pornographic paraphernalia, you'll find the hazard suit and biohazard disposal bags in the med lab.
: I'll clean the incinerator.
: That's what I thought.
: Take... Where the hell is turdnugget number 7?
: You're referring to us by number?!
: Last I saw she was in bilge room 7.
: Right right, I caught her sneaking ice cream so I used her to plug up one of the open bilge valves. It was freaking hilarious.

*Later*

: Chief? Is that you Chief?! I'm stuck!
: Sucks to be you.
: And I can feel it in pipes! It's moving! It's moviiiing!
: And that's exactly why I'm leaving you there for another hour.
: But who's going to help me with the incinerator?!
: Chieeeeeeef!
: Fine, you're both freaking unbearable, but I'm still not touching you.
: You, I need some hydrogen peroxide disinfectant, a dozen eggs, some ammonia cleaning agent, and that weird-ass plant that Golden Gate is growing, including the pot.
: Yes sir!

*Later*

: Chief?
: What are you whining about now?

"I-Is this safe?"

: There is no way this is OSHA compliant!
: If OSHA really gave a damn they'd have taught it in school.
: Is this going to hurt?
: Me? Not a bi- Oh you mean for you? It'll be freaking excruciating, but you're insured.
: Do it.
: Fire in the hole!

"Poooooot."


: ... fuel leak?
: Waaaaaaaaah!

Hm, no entries as of yet.

But see poll, I'll probably do more than one.

[Blaze]

OFF, War of the Human Tanks, and a tiny bit of FnaFb.

[IronyOwl]

War of the Human Tanks

THAT'S why those fairies had such disturbing eyes.


As for the poll, was a tough call between Battleships and Destroyers, but I ultimately went with the option I hope results in more deranged lolis.

[Nighthawk]

"I can't clean the incinerator while it's on!"
"Not with that attitude."

This guy is a gem. I hope he sticks around for later story arcs.

[Shadowlord]

This looks like a good time to nominate Toady for a donation.

[n9103]

^ Seconded/Voteded