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Destroyers

Light Cruisers

Heavy Cruisers

Battleships

Submarines

Light Carriers

Aircraft Carriers

[Sinistar]

Ahah, I'm in luck! 2k sale on Steam, just what I wanted! No, seriously.

Blaze put me up for XCOM: Enemy Within dlc, please! 

[Blaze]

Uber Pye: Goat Simulator
IronyOwl: Besiege +3
BigFatStupidHead: Besiege +3
Sinistar: XCOM: Enemy Within DLC

[n9103]

I too shall strive to acquire my inner nemesis. It shall go very well with the extended conflict that I've been wanting to play.
Here I thought I didn't have a reason to care about the sale. Silly me. Thanks for pointing this one out Sinistar.

Synonyms? What're those?

[Blaze]

Uber Pye: Goat Simulator
IronyOwl: Besiege +3
BigFatStupidHead: Besiege +3
Sinistar: XCOM: Enemy Within DLC
n9103: XCOM: Enemy Within DLC

Uber Pye rolled 1d20 → [2] = (2)
IronyOwl rolled 1d20 → [8,3] = (11)
BigFatStupidHead rolled 1d20 → [10,3] = (13)
Sinistar rolled 1d20 → [8] = (
n9103 rolled 1d20 → [18] = (18)

n9103 is the winner!
Please PM me your email to begin cycling soldiers through psyops.

(Oh and it was on sale to, 12.49)

Current Budget: $20

I SHOULD get the update up within the next two days.
This may or may not be in Valve time.

[BigFatStupidHead]

Well done, n9103! Enjoy your medically unnecessary amputations! That aspect of the cyborgs disturbs me more than I expected.

Well, why don't I put in my name for the peculiar looking Earth Tongue.

[Shadowlord]

Congrats n9103!

BFSH: The cyborgs in XCom: Enemy Within make me think of Gunther Hermann and Anna Navarre in Deus Ex, who seemed to have also had their morals amputated. (I named a cyborg after Gunther. He died. I was not surprised!)

I'll enter for Democracy 3: Collectors Edition, on sale this week for $14.99 ("WEEK LONG DEAL! Offer ends March 30").

[n9103]

Wewt
Thanks guys. Looking forward to exploiting the moral and biological flexibility for the defense of humanity. Ends justify the means, right? (totally got that vibe about Gunther and Anna too )


Wait... I won the first time in awhile that I didn't put in for Toady. I is sad.
Maybe The Warted One has rejected my offerings, and conferred with the RNG (that bitch) to ensure my efforts were futile.
*le sigh*

Ah well. Thanks again Blaze-chan

[Blaze]

BigFatStupidHead: Earth Tongue
Shadowlord: Democracy 3: Collector's Addition

Spoiler: Uptoot (click to show/hide)

: My, it's quite breezy today isn't it? I'm glad I brought this spare kimono, aren't you?
: ...
: (Here's the damage report sir.)
: (... Are you quite sure this is correct?)
: (Made doubly sure of that sir.)
: (Professor Bluebell, a word if you would.)
: (Of course.)
: (What would you say if I told you we took no hull or internal damage from our previous activities.)
: (Say what now?!)
: (You're kidding!)
: (But the guns! And the torpedo!)
: (And the chainsaws!)
: (And the tie-dyed, artfully torn, denim short-shorts!) x2
: (I'd say you were stark raving mad.)
: (Yet that's what this report says. We've completely lost our armor belts, yet the hull hasn't been so much as scratched.)
: (You're saying this Houshou character not only managed to flay off every bit of armor we had, but did it without even touching the hull? Just what is she?!)
: (Let's pray we never have to find out.)
: *hic* *hic*
: It's just a bit more until we reach the docks.
: Just hang in just a little longer, Mafuyu-san.
: A quick dip into the docks will clear all those aches right up!
: Indeed, there are few things more refreshing than a dip in the dock's hot springs on a cold, windy day.
: *hic* *hic*... hot... springs...?
: Why yes, the method we use to recover from injuries is to steep ourselves in a special mineral-enhanced mixture. The usual method is to pour the repair mixture into a specially heated bath made specifically to-















: Why is everyone so far behind?! Let's go!
: Oh my...
: Are you quite sure she's a carrier?
: I might need to amend an earlier estimate just a teeny bit...
note: I really like hot springs.




: And here we are.
: Before we enter, let me explain a few things.
: The dock is separated into four sections, the locker rooms, the shower area, and the two docking areas for short and long docking periods.
: The locker rooms are further separated into the different classes. Destroyers, Light Cruisers, Heavy Cruisers, Battleships, Light Carriers, Carriers, Submarines, and Specialists.
: Why separate the locker rooms?
: The equipment fit-outs for ships of different classes require quite a bit of space. And for battleships like myself, that can be a significant amount.
: Space is at a premium, while the building itself is large, we have quite a few ships on base; keeping it this way makes for more efficient use.
: Bringing clothing or equipment into the docks is strictly forbidden, so leave those in the locker room. You've already been assigned a locker, the electronic lock should automatically active by your touch.
: In your case I wouldn't worry about your flight decks and catapults, as they're stored internally. If you ever equip any weapons or other external equipment, you'll know where to put them.
: The shower room should be self-explanatory. The docking area is a mixed bath, so keep it clean for everyone.
: As for the docks, Akashi can explain that aspect better than I can.
: Right! The docking aspect is pretty straightforward, you'll be given a repair initiator. These usually come in the form of bath salts or liquid kept in a specifically marked container. Furthermore, you'll be given resource capsules to consume.
: Once you're ready to begin docking head into the docks. The short docks for times less than two hours, and the long docks otherwise. You'll only need the short docks this time.
: Each dock is separated into the large public dock and a few smaller 1-2 shipgirl docks available for privacy. Choose one as you see fit. I personally like a bit of company for those long repair times.
: So to initiate the repair sequence, step into the water and pour the repair salts around you; it'll take a minute or two to dissolve completely. Once that's done, you can eat the repair capsules; you can chew them or swallow them whole, it doesn't matter in the end.
: Then you just stay in the water until you're fully repaired. Your fairies will inform you of that.
: Be absolutely certain you're fully repaired before leaving the water. The repair substance stops working once it dries. If you stay out too long you'll waste the effect, and that may only be a few minutes. If it wears off, the water can itself still has a recuperative effect, but it'll take a lot longer without more repair materials.
: Once you're done, head off to dry, your body should immediately begin reforming your armor and clothing. If you took them off beforehand, it'll begin once they've been put back on.
: And that's all there is to it!
: While there aren't any specific rules, remember that the dock is for everyone; so mind your manners and treat your fellow shipgirls with respect, and you'll be treated in kind.
: Finally, recording equipment of any kind is strictly forbidden in all areas, with severe consequences for rule-breakers.
: That's enough talking, shall we enter?
: Yes!




: A word if you will Lady.
: Ah. Yes, Colonel?
: There's no need to refer to me by rank, just Tasker will do.
: Mr. Tasker then?
: That's fine I suppose.
: In any case, I'm just here to tell you that while you're in the docking zone; protocol requires all male fairies be off the helm or any areas with external views unless in dire circumstances.
: So you're going to leave?
: Not exactly, we'll just be going into the lower holds. So Professor Bluebell, Golden Gate, Lawless, and Zero will be here to render assisstance.
: I trust there are no objections?
: Nay!
: Bobby! x2
: What manner of man would turn his eyes away from such beautiful views?!
: It's this demonization of those who appreciate the female form that our society is falling down a backwards spiral!
: She's not even of the same species. She's more than a dozen times taller and wider than you.
: Waaaaaaaaaah!
: Such things do not matter to a progressive man such as I!
: Okay Mr. Progressive, you can appreciate the forms of females of your own size along with the rest of us down in the living quarters.

* drag drag drag *
"I will not be silenced!"
* drag drag drag *
"Ow. Ow! Okay! It was a joke! A joke!

Spoiler: Uptoot Kai (click to show/hide)

: Everyone's secured below!
: Even Bobby?
: Especially Bobby.
: Let's move on then.

*screeeee*
"Submarine Squad has returned from the Orel Sea"
"Please Clear docking area number 8."
*ktchk*

: Oops, that's my cue.
: But before I forget, Mafuyu, take these, you'll need them.

*Obtained Repair Salts*
*Obtain Fuel Capsule x 2*
*Obtained Ammunition Capsule x 4*
*Obtained Steel Capsule x 11*

: Ah, thank you!
: Don't mention it, I'm just doing my job.
: See you later then!
: Thank you for your assistance Akashi.
: Until then Akashi.
: Later Akashi!




: Here are the destroyer locker rooms.
: This is my stop then.
: Thank you for your assistance Shira-

*FWOOSH*

: Wha- What was that?!
: Last one to the docks is a leaky ballast tank!
: For the last time Shimakaze! We're not racing!
: You two! No running through the halls!
: Catch me if you can, slowpokes!
: Shimakaze!
: Come back here!


: There they go.
: They sure are filled with energy aren't they?
: Kids should be lively after all. The base is better that way.
: Yeah, imagine if the base was filled with boring old people like our higher ups.
: And just what is that supposed to mean?
: Let's move on shall we?



: And next we have the Light Cruiser lock-

: Night! Battle! NIGHT! BATTLE! NIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!!! BAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEL!!!
: ...
: ...
: ...
: ...
: ...
: Moving on ahead.



: And here are the Heavy Cruiser locker rooms.
: It's so big!
: It's around this point that fittings start getting significantly bigger, so the space is there to compensate.
: Pan-Pa-Ka-Pan!
: A hot bath on a cold morning is so refreshing doesn't it?
: Oh! Houshou, Mutsu, and...
: This must be the new girl we've been hearing about. Good morning!
: Good morning Atago, Suzuya, Chikuma.
: Good morning!
: ...
: Mafuyu-chan? We've been over this haven't we? You should answer when spoken to.
: ...

*51cm Twin Cannons*

*100mm Armor Belt*

*152,000 Shaft Horsepower Engine*

*Mafuyu's Self-Confidence: Sunk*

: I think she may be a bit overwhelmed at the moment Houshou-san.
: It's okay Mafuyu! Your cargo hold is much larger than theirs!
: And your plane capacity is unmatched!
: And in size class you won't lose to anyone!
: You're not helping!
: I'm afraid greetings will have to wait until she's collected herself.
: It's alright, for a newcomer the base must be a whole lot to take in at once.
: We can chat over breakfast anyway.
: Bye for now!
: Let's move on shall we?






: And this is the battleship lockers.
: It's huge!
: That's what she said.
: *groan*
: Sorry, It just feels so quiet around here with the men away.
: Ah, I know what you mean.
: And here's my stop.
: Thank you for your assistance Mutsu.
: Oh no, it was my pleasu-
: ヘｨー！ Mutsu! Houshou!
: Good morning Kongou.
: Good morning Kongou.
: Oh! And this must be the ﾈｩｰ ﾌｧｰｽ that they've been talking about isn't it?
: Ah yes! Mafuyu! Pleased to meet you!
: ﾜｩ! Such a lively greeting! You've got a lot of energy!
: But in terms of energy, I won't lose to anyone!
: For the one to capture the admiral's heart shall be me!
: And then...

❤ No! You can't do that admiral! Don't cross my T from behind! ❤
❤ If you keep refueling me like this, I won't have any space for supplies! ❤
❤ What are you going to do if my internal factory takes a direct hit from your torpedo? ❤
❤ I won't be able to stop it once that happens! It'll begin construction of a new ship! ❤
❤ I won't be able to fight anymore! I'll be decommissioned! ❤
❤ I'll have to become a yacht for your exclusive personal use! ❤
❤ What? You'll take full responsibility and sail me every day? ❤
❤ Oh Admiral! You just love me so much you can't help yourself! ❤

: Huh? Huh?
: This is just how she is.
: I certainly can't fault her endless enthusiasm.
: Alright Kongou, it's docking time now.
: I suggest a new rule: "Avoid Kongou". All in favor?
: Aye!
: See you later Houshou, Mafuyu!



: And here we have the Light Carrier locker area.
: It's smaller than the other one, but still pretty large.
: Light Carriers require less space. Instead-
: I'm getting something on radar. Something big. It's heading right for us.
: Friend or Foe?
: I'm afraid I can't tell you, IFF codes have been sent but returning codes are completely garbled.
: Hold Steady.

*Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump*
"Sheeeeeee's finally heeeeeere!"

: That voice!
: It's her!
: Everyone! Battlestations! Red Alert! Red Alert!







: You're heeeeeere!
: Aaaaaaah!

STRIFE!

A Wild Shouhou Draws Near!
Mafuyu's party has been ambushed!



Wild Shouhou uses Full Frontal Assault!




Mafuyu is paralyzed!




Houshou is nonplussed!




"I've been waiting for this! Now we can go to the docks and share the power of nudity with everyone!"




Mafuyu is paralyzed! She cannot attack!




Houshou attacks!












"Hello Shouhou."












"Goodbye Shouhou."



Mafuyu's party is victorious!
Earned 12000XP
Found 15000円



Mafuyu is now level 5!
Armor up 2!
Evade up 2!
LOS up 3!
Bust up 5!
Butt up 5!
Weight up 8!

Mafuyu wants to learn "Parfait au Chocolat".
However, Mafuyu can't learn more than four moves.
Delete a move to make room for "Parfait au Chocolat"?

> Quatre Quarts
Caramel Dur
Dame Blanche
Mille Feuilles

1.2. and POOF!
Mafuyu forgot "Quatre Quarts"!
And...
Mafuyu learned "Parfait au Chocolat"!

: I have a little mess to clean up now so you can go on ahead to the Carrier locker room.
: ... Yes Ma'am...
: There are towels available for use there; you can place my kimono in the laundry bin and I'll pick it up later.
: ... Yes Ma'am...
: There's no need to be so stiff, this is a place of relaxation after all. I'll be back in 45 minutes to bring you to the mess hall so be ready by then.




: Hm? Houshou-san? You dropped... a photo?
: ...
: ...
: ...
: ...
: Whoa...

*snatch*

: Oh dear, my secret was found out.
: That was you?!
: Remember, I am the first carrier ever built specifically as a carrier.
: Needless to say I was quite popular back in the day!

Meanwhile...


*Slam*


: And I'm the first-












"Shiratsuyu is number one!"
"Waaaah~ I lost~!"

Spoiler: Houshou (click to show/hide)

Houshou Kai
Houshou Class Light Carrier
Level 99
HP 40
Firepower 29
Armor 49
Torpedo Attack 0
Evasion 59
Anti-Air 39
Aircraft 42
Anti-Sub 0
Speed Slow
LOS 179
Range Short
Luck 79
Armament:
Type 21 Zero Fighter (Skilled) x 14
Type 97 Torpedo Bomber (Skilled) x 16
Type 99 Dive Bomber (Skilled) x 12
-Locked-

Spoiler: Akashi (click to show/hide)

"Initiating high-speed submarine repair"



Akashi Kai
Akashi Class Repair Ship
Level 80
HP 45
Firepower 84
  Armor 27
Torpedo Attack 0
Evasion 38
Anti-Air 87
Aircraft 0
Anti-Sub 0
Speed Slow
LOS 58
Range Short
Luck 52
Armament:
GTW-5 Prometheus Standard
Ship Repair Facility
Ship Repair Facility
Armamentarium Improvement System
 

[USEC_OFFICER]

...

Well that was a thing.

[Nighthawk]

Those ship-related innuendos.

Forget an actual KanColle anime. They'd be better off taking Blaze's script and adding animation.


Also,

...

Well that was a thing.

Don't pretend you didn't vote for more fanservice.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Although I actually did.

[n9103]

^
Yup. That about sums up my thoughts. (other than the fan service, not that I'm complaining )

[Sirus]

Those ship-related innuendos.

Forget an actual KanColle anime. They'd be better off taking Blaze's script and adding animation.

Yes please. Get on it, Japan.

[BigFatStupidHead]

Ah, so wonderfully inappropriate! Especially when read in a public computer lab.

[Blaze]

Note that I have yet to receive a message from the previous winner, so I have yet to send the prize.

Remember that there are only two applications so far, so I am accepting more.

Perhaps if I don't reach a certain number of applications in a week, I'll save that money for the next week instead.

[Shadowlord]

And miss this sale? 

I liked the update, by the way.