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Destroyers

Light Cruisers

Heavy Cruisers

Battleships

Submarines

Light Carriers

Aircraft Carriers

[MaximumZero]

Save that budget for consumption at a later date!

[IronyOwl]

I think we're setting a bad example...

[Mapleguy555]

We're conditioning the fatty to hold more cargo. Go with the flow.

[Shadowlord]

She could always invest her money instead. Or wait until the stock market crashes again and then start investing her money since that is apparently the best time to start (and at the peak is the worst time). :V

[Blaze]

Budget: $32.25

We'll go ahead and start accepting applications. And votes I suppose.

Spoiler: Two Goddesses and a Tenryuu (click to show/hide)

: What the hell?! I get pulled out and they replace me with some half-assed milquetoast fanbait whose only redeeming feature is getting molested by every living thing in existence?! Who's responsible for this?! I demand a-

*Pomf*

: Ugh, still no good.
: Was that supposed to happen?
: No, she was supposed to be transported into the tentacle dimension.
: Are you doing it right? It's the swish, then the flick remember?
: That's what I've been doing but-

*Pomf*

: See what I mean?
: Ah...

*Pomf*

: Why does that keep happening?!
: Look, I'm going to explain this once, so convert it to a zip file and listen up.
: This is the narrative dimension haven, where all narrative meta is done.
: I'm... I suppose you can call me God. At least for this writer's universe.
: I'm just here to mooch food and wireless.
: Usually, characters removed from canon settings are simply removed from existence entirely.
: Yet for some reason, you're here. I don't know how, I don't know why, but here you are. I've tried everything I can think of to send you out, but it seems that you're stuck here.
: Do you seriously expect me to believe that?
: Believe it or not, you're here. That fact that you're here and not in your home setting means that you aren't needed there.
: Like hell I am! If anyone even thinks of pulling me off the front lines I'll tear them a new one!
: Ha! You? On the front lines?
: What's this obsolete tit-dragging chuunibyou rust-bucket sleeptalking about?
: Look, I get that mortals have this adorable superiority complex since you're the dominant species of some tiny planet, but face the facts here.
: You're a common as crap drop, your equipment is garbage, your starting and max stats are the lowest out of all light cruisers. There are destroyers that have better stats than you!
:  Even if you were sent back you'd be shipping diapers, escorting babies, and rotting in mothball storage until they dump you in the scrapyard. And then you're railing about another character when your introduction line is "Fufu, you scared"?
: I've seen scarier porn of myself! Your entire character is based on the equivalent of middle school edginess. Maybe that's where you got your eyepatch? You tried to /wrists and ended up losing an eye? Talk about embarrassing.
: Acting like a middle schooler while being so OLD. No new artwork, no new lines, no new kai ni upgrade, even your own setting has completely forgotten about you!
: Hey, but look on the bright side! You're the second-most drawn shipgirl by the fandom: As a butt-monkey and trolling target to be milked for laughs like a cow!
: Speaking of cows; ever wonder why you haven't appeared in the anime? It's because the only thing you're good for can't be shown on daytime televi-

: I'll take it all back, so please don't. I'm not paid enough to deal with this.
: In any case, until we figure out how to get you home, you're stuck here.
: Until we figure something out, eternity ends, or you die. Whichever comes first.
: And that's just how it is.
: What's... What's going to happen to me?
: Well... I gave that a bit of thought and I came to the conclusion that...
: ...it's not my problem.
: Whaaaaat?!
: Welp, good luck with your existence and whatever.
: Waiiiwwbb!
: What? Ew! No! Get off! You're dripping it all-
: I'b scarbed! Therf nobun elfs hereb!
: Isn't this one of those moments when that "God shows mercy to those in need" thing is supposed to happen?
: Downf leef meeb eye don knowb wuf to dooo!
: ...
: Fine... Just stop dripping this strange-liquid-I-don't-know-what on me. For me's sake have some me-damned dignity.
: *Sniff*
: I'm sure I can dig up some inconsequential task that needs to be done. Just try not to soil yourself in the meantime.
: Why not leave her to me?
: Because I still have some shred of a conscience left and even I wouldn't know what you'd-
: Ten bucks?
: Twenty.
: Fifteen.
: Deal.
: Wuuuuuubf?!
: Oh but before that, Congratulations.
: For what?
: You story appearance in this update of course.
: Story appearance?
: This update? As in THIS this update?
: As in the "appearance that's going to happen in a bit" yes.
: Bu-But I'm totally not ready! My make-up! And my hair! And I'm covered in strange-liquid-I-don't-know-what!
: Perhaps you should... freshen up a bit?
: I would smite you so hard right now if I had the time.
: A stage crew! A stage crew! My Divine Kingdom for a stage crew!

*Slam!*

: And there she goes.
: But whab aboub mee?
: Oh don't worry about a thing, after all...

"I take good care of my toys."

There was lots of playing afterwards.

Note: The Tenryuu class of light cruisers, was built around the idea for a "Destroyer leader" so they basically made a bigger destroyer. Her later classification into a light cruiser meant she was significantly smaller than other ships of that weight class. Furthermore, she was built post-WWI, before 20-odd years of rapid technological development took place. By WWII, she was completely obsolete, but still serviceable, and the IJN couldn't spare the expense to refit her and couldn't really scrap her due to the lack of ships available. Instead she was relegated to escorting ships in relatively-safe zones. In-game, her stats are well below average in all areas and is the only CL (excluding Isuzu's Kai Ni form) to not be able to carry planes. On the plus side, her ammo/fuel requirements are really low, so she's great for of running expeditions that require CL's, but in the late game, she's fodder.

Note2: Tatsuta is also a Tenryuu-class ship, but she gets a non-canon Kai ni upgrade (and a significant one at that).

Note3: A "Chuunibyou" a slang term that roughly translates into "2nd year Middle School Syndrome". A general catch-all term for social "development/awkwardness" taking place during that time in the education period. Its definition has drifted into a derisive one; you can read more here.

Note4: Ilias has appeared in nearly all my game-based narratives. Usually as a meta-playing goddess, as in here. Her usual depiction can be summarized as "If God were an overworked, underpaid, unappreciated, jaded salaryman who wasn't completely Omnipotent and certainly not Omniscient."

Spoiler: Being Mafuyu's Crew is ... (click to show/hide)

: To all those stationed upon the IJN Mafuyu, thank you for coming. I have been assigned to care for you while your staff officers are away.
: As your ship is currently undergoing stress tests, we will use this period of time to proceed with the finalization of your documentation and assess your capabilities.
: To this end we will be separating you into your relevant groups: marines, pilots, and crew.
: Please proceed to your assigned positions. Thank you for your cooperation.

1: Marines
2: Pilots
3: Crew Members

Divination of Fate rolled: 1d3 → [2] = (2)

Crew over here!
23rd Sentai!
Hoo-rah!
Oops, excuse me, pardon me, sorry-
Please proceed to your stations in an orderly manner!
Heartbreak One engaging.
Marine station 14 is full, please reroute to other stations.
Over here boss!
It's time for my pound of flesh!
Red Spy is in the base!
No pushing please!
Hut-hut-hut-hut-hut-hut!
Throgg want kill!
Scorpio! Scorpio! Scorpio!
We need a slogan!
Leave that witch ALONE.
Heroic Vandalism!
Pipirupirupirupipirupi!
Chicken Chaser?
GET OVER HERE!
Defend this area all of you!
Who just groped me?!
Red Spy is in the base?!
Where's that taffer?
Objective Completed - With Extreme Prejudice!
You can't kill people with friendship.
Well how was I supposed to know it would suddenly explode?
If you refuse to trample, you will be trampled!

: I've never seen so many people!
: Don't wander too far, if we get lost there's no telling how we'll find each other again.
: Ah! There they are! Hey! Over here!
: Ergh.
: What happened to you?
: We refused to trample.
: They were wearing cleats! Who even wears cleats?!
: But did you find it?
: Yeah, it's over by the east exit; call the rest of the pilots in.
: Alright, Pilots of Star Wing, we're heading towards the eastern exits!
: And stick to your flight leads, if I have to round you all up again there'll be hell to pay!

*Later*

: Are you the wing leaders? Registration is over here!
: So Cute~!
: Here we go again. Hey Pepi, can you talk some sense into her?
: Me first!
: ...
: Hey! Don't run! There's a-

*Oof!*

: Hey! Watch where you're goi-
: Rrr?
: eep.
: That's why I said not to run! Koi Squadron's here too!
: Koi Squadron?
: Isn't it that famous delinquent squad that got dismissed off of every carrier they were assigned to?
: They've done things that would get us sent to the firing squad in a heartbeat, but the brass won't touch them.
: Well how bad could a squad be; they're fairies like us right?

: Oh...
: That's Gorebag, I heard once he was the last pilot up after his group was ambushed by an enemy wing; he shot them all down, but ran out of ammo to finish off the last plane. He jumped out of his plane onto the enemy and started eating it.
: He ate the pilot?
: No, he ate the plane!

: Oi, what's the hold-up?
: Gorebag feel puny nudge from tiny ant. But Gorebag no find ant.
: Just hurry up and sign the thing so the rest of us can move on.
: But Gorebag no write.
: Just gimme the damn thing.
: That's Ios, he's one of those guys that got a kill counter installed because they ran out of space to put paint kills. He kept getting passed around different squadrons because every time he was sortied every other pilot sent with him would never come back.
: Then what's his kill count?
: Zero. He racked up so many kills that it glitched the counter and it's now permanently stuck at zero.
: I'm next.
: Ah, sign here please.
: That's Morden, he used to be one of the big guys up top, but got slammed all the way down to rock bottom after he was used as a scapegoat in the Central Park Incident.
: Central Park Incident?
: That one where that protest got hit by firebombs due to bad intel?
: Yeah so get this, after it happened, he was kept in the dark and got buried in oodles of unrelated paperwork by the others involved. And while he was busy, he got blamed for it all.
: I mean sure he got off, but his rep's mud among the higher-ups; and there's no way he's getting his career back. So he decided to quit that and become a pilot instead; made wing commander in record time.
: But the other guys involved? All found dead, They were force-fed paper until their stomachs burst.
: So that just leaves me doesn't it?
: Mhmm... Such an interesting specimen...
: Ah... Sign here please...
: Don't mind if I do.
: And that's Riptide, he used to be a scientist.
: What did he do?
: I don't know but he just creeps me out!
: Once you've signed, please take your squads to the fields for evaluation!
: Let's just get this over with and move out.
: Agreed.





: You there. Who is your wing commander?
: Uh... Uh.. Me?
: You're a pilot are you not?
: Yes?
: I'll say once more. Who is your wing commander?
: Him!
: It's Him!
: It's You!
: No it isn't!
: Gorebag see two.
: I see. These two is it?
: One or two, it doesn't make much difference does it?
: They're all the same in the end anyway.

*Superhug*

: Friends!
: Too Much Breathe. Can't Hug.
: The days of substandard living conditions are behind us!
: On this! Our ship! We have finally found our home!
: We will defend to the death our goddess of air conditioning and heated toilet seats!
: And such cute little gi- I mean fellow pilots huehue.
: What say you members of Love Wing?!

We love you Mafuyu-chan!!!
Marry me Mafuyu-chan!!!
Mafuyu-chan forever!!!

: What is this I don't even-
: I honestly can't tell if I find them creepier now or befo-

Drop your c*ck and grab your pants!

: Ah! The evaluator is here!




Note: Japanese ships were infamous for having spartan living conditions (With few exceptions, such as the Yamato-class which had first class provisions). The Myoukou class in particular were mentioned by the British: "Until now I have never seen a warship". Then there were ships such as the Kaga, which was nicknamed the "Yakitori Grill" due to the badly designed ventilation system causing the crew quarter temperature to regularly be at 30C-40C (86F-104F). Unsurprisingly, discipline among the crew of those ships was very bad.

Note Kai: Koi can mean "Carp" or "Love".

Spoiler: Being Mafuyu's Crew is ... pt2 (click to show/hide)

I am Sergeant Maritan! Your Drill Instructor!
Prostitutes, Inefficient B*tches! Line up! Line Up!

: ...
: ...
: ...
: ...
: Do I stutter?! Sound off like you've got a pair!
: I don't even know anymore.
: I just wanna go home.
: Oh I get it now, I actually am home and this is all a dream. All just a dream.
: We went through all this for a pink-haired brat to yell at us?
: Who said that?! Who's the slimy little communist sh*t twinkle-toed c*cksucker that just signed his own death warrant?!
: It was her!
: Huh?! Me?! No i-

: So much for that, ATTENTION!
: You! You trash are the lowest life form on Earth. You're not even f*cking fairies! You are nothing but unorganized grabbastic pieces of amphibian sh*t!
: Now, it's my job to turn you walking toilets into something the IJN can be proud of. From what I see it's going to take a f*cking miracle! Even a f*cking miracle won't turn you useless sh*ts into something that doesn't make me want to vomit and then punch you in the guts until you vomit so you can feel my pain!
: I will make you walking toilets so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to shove you down and take a dump on you!
: To that end I will P.T. you until you f*cking die! I will P.T. you until your *sshole is sucking buttermilk!

*Running*

: Hup-hup-hup-hup-hup-hup-hup.
: A break! I need a break!
: Bullsh*t! You think there are breaks in wars?!
: But I can't go on anymore!
: Your testicles are just too small!
:  But I'm a woman!
: Shut it! A woman's testicles are in her heart!
: Pepi, if we... don't... die here. I'm leaving you.
: Whaaaaaat?!

*Hand-To-Hand Combat*

: God, If you do exist. You'll show mercy on me here!

And from God's shining diamond throne set at the pinnacle of her Divine Kingdom, God will cast her gaze upon your pitiful, insignificant figure and whisper.



"No".

: And here's your opponent!
: Hurr! Me Gorebag and Me Smash You Long Time!
: Why do you mock me O' Lord?!
: No, see, if I wanted to mock you, I'd do something like this.
: "Your mother is a treasured and valuable member of society."
: Nobody talk about Gorebag mom that way!
: No wait! I didn't- Not the face! Not the fac-Blargh!

*Energetic Dance*

: Wrong! It's Swing, hip waggle, head-tilt, then wide-arms! Get it right worthless scumbag!
: What does this even have to do with anything?!
: ♫2-4-11 of love~♫

*And what may be the most defining trait of any military*

: And up! And down! And up! And down! Faster!
: Yeah! Feel the burn!
: It burns! It burns!
: What the f*ck is that?! Get down there and really BAG THAT TEA!
: It hurts! When can we stop?!
: The pain is nothing compared to your opponent's humiliation!

: You maggots are huffing and puffing the way your momma did the first time your old man put the meat to her!
: Everything... Is... Pain...
: Dying... Gonna Die...
: No... More... Feel... Like... Throwing up...
: BLRGRGLHRLHRGRL!
: Bullsh*t! The only thing you scumbags need is motivation! So here it is!

♪ Magical ♪



♫ Pixel ♫



♬ Maritan ♬


FIRE MISSION

*Later*

Girls are being punished, please wait warmly.

: To the personnel stationed upon the IJN Mafuyu, you'll be glad to know that she has completed all stress tests.
: Just let us go already...
: Now I'm sure that you're all anxious to re-board, so I won't take any more of your time.
: You can set her down here girls.
: Upsie-daisy!

*Flump*

*Major Damage*

"WAAAAH! MAFUYU-CHAAAAN!!!

[Sirus]

Epic Battle Fantasy AND Advance Wars: Days of Ruin? In a single update? Amazing.

I would like to apply for There Came an Echo on Steam. It's $14.99.

[IronyOwl]

Wow. It really is psychotic leadership and sexual harassment all the way down.

Back in for Beseige, which I guess is pretty fitting considering the story updates.

[Shadowlord]

I nominate Sirius for...

His choice of one of these 99 cent games:


(Or if he does not choose one, Bad Rats, although just about everyone must own it by now.)

I also vote for him, assuming that loophole still exists.

(I noticed the budget was not high enough for Homeworld: Remastered yet, still, so... )

[Blaze]

I think I have the writer's equivalent of that morning after, I read my update again and it felt so incomplete that I just want to erase it and redo it. It definitely was rushed at the end as I already spent far too much time on it.

Shadowlord: Sirus stuff.
IronyOwl: Besiege

[Shakerag]

This story most certainly needed some R. Lee Ermey.  Bravo.

[Nighthawk]

I wish I knew half of the references in that huge column of references...

GET OVER HERE!
- Mortal Combat

Red Spy is in the base!
- TF2

Objective Completed - With Extreme Prejudice!
- Apocalypse Now (?)

Those are the only ones I recognized.

[Blaze]

I threw a whole bunch in there to see if people would go for the budget bonus yes.

Still only two entries. I'm curious to see if people were as interested as they were before. Perhaps I might have scared people off?

Anywho, the next update will return focus back on Mafuyu, the last two seem to have went on an odd tangent.

[uber pye]

sign me up for Besiege!

[n9103]

Win post is win.

I spotted a few references:

Heartbreak One engaging.

Ace Combat. 5 I think.

Over here boss!

Overlord

Heroic Vandalism!

Dredmor

Several other generalized military phrases too common to pin to a specific instance.
I think all the other references I caught have been named already. I suppose I could specifically point out Full Metal Jacket, instead of the more general R. Lee Ermey. (not to be confused with General Ermey )


I'll toss Toady in for another go at it.
Still think I've won more than my share, and don't want to deprive anyone else of basking in your favor.

[Mapleguy555]

Matt OP