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[uber pye]

I would like to NOMNOMNOMINATE Thief Gold $6.99 on steam.

I find the self-depreciation humor funny, but it make me feel bad to insult you

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

FATTY! 

so watch this video

[Blaze]

By the way, is the paddle required or may I bring a sledgehammer? Or a chainsaw? There's more than one way to lose weight.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

: ABSOWUTEWY NOT!
: Thewe will be no viowence in this thwead for any reason!
: THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!
: Wah! I'm Sowwy!
: In anycase, while we do have, and encourage violence here; we do have to maintain certain standards.
: Otherwise bad things will happen.
: You mean Mistwah Sitdown?
: DON'T SAY HIS NAME YOU IDIOT!
: I'm Sowwy!
: I'm not afraid of no bear nor man.
: But that thing?.
: He's tewwible and scawy and meany and baddy.
: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP WHAT IF HE'S LISTENING?!
: But yeah, keep things generally respectible.
: I'm sure creative minds such as yours can manage!

[Elephant Parade]

Every time I accidentally click "unread posts", I discover a new and bizarre thread.

This thread is the strangest yet.

[Sinlessmoon]

Every time I accidentally click "unread posts", I discover a new and bizarre thread.

This thread is the strangest best yet.

FTFY

[Blaze]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

: Well I feel much better now.
: Nothing like a 24-hour nap to unwind after work!
: I should probably go let her down now.
: Then again, it's not like she can eat with the gag.
: But knowing her she'd probably just eat the gag.
: Wait! And then she'd eat the money too!
: I gotta get there fast!

Later.


: Oh don't be such a baby.
: It's not like I could've done anything against your natural padding.
: But it hurts...
: They DO say pain is weakness leaving the body.
: So there must be something slowing down the leaving process, making the pain last longer.
: Clearly, it only hurts because you're fat.
: Waaaaaaah!
: Y'know, I think I should've left the gag on, you're much more bearable to be around with it.
: Oh, but money!
: Well hey, there's more money here after all! It's not much but it's money!
: I must have kept working in my sleep.
: Aren't you glad I'm such a hard worker?
: This'll do for now, but we'll both have to try harder next time.
: NEXT TIME?!?!

Spoiler: How the extra $$$ works (click to show/hide)

For each post describing hitting, I roll a 20 sided die.
1 -> Nothing added to budget
2-5 -> +$0.25
6-10 -> +$0.50
11-15 -> +$0.75
16-19 -> +$1
20 -> +$2

Last set of rolls:

1d20 → [4] = (4)
1d20 → [20] = (20)
1d20 → [17] = (17)
1d20 → [4] = (4)
1d20 → [15] = (15)
1d20 → [19] = (19)
1d20 → [12] = (12)

Thread budget: 9.75 -> 15.75

[Aklyon]

I still don't quite get what we're we're giving away to.

[Blaze]

So far it looks like King of Dragon Pass is leading in votes.

Type:Rider, Thief:Gold, Running With Rifles, Sudeki, donating to Toady and Sami have all been mentioned as well.

I'll have to come up with a more stream-lined system for this.
I remember some guy used an arena-ish site/program for choosing something like this.

[Sheb]

Ahah, I rolled a natural 20 baby!

[Glloyd]

If it wasn't clear from my previous statements, I support donating to Toady.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

AND CONTINUE THE PADDLING OF THE FATTY

[Mictlantecuhtli]

Paddle away, young one.

[BFEL]

So if I might ask, exactly how much weight are you trying to lose Blaze?

I ask because I would feel bad if you were just like, anorexic or something and just imagined yourself as fat.

As a reference point, I myself clock in at 250, and about 70% of that is in my gut (the rest is mostly in my legs, which is good because they are super muscular, unlike the gut.)

[Blaze]

If it wasn't made clear, you can only swing at the pinata when the pinata is up.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When will it be up? Might be sooner than you think

So if I might ask, exactly how much weight are you trying to lose Blaze?

Are you trying to get yourself exempted from this givaway?
I gained approximately 7.5 kilos over the course of the holiday season (4 months). Since I'm only 4' 11", it's a pretty significant amount. I lost 2 kilos over the last month, but it's slow going.

[rabidgam3r]

goddamnmotherfuckingvainpiecesofshitwhogivesagoddamnrat'sarseifyou'refatstopbeingvainfucksandgetonwithyourlifealsocontinuepaddlingyouvainfucker- I mean, I nominate Running With Rifles. youvainfuck

[Sheb]

Try to hold the fatty up

Does that work? Can they pinata you now, or are you too fat for me to lift you?

[Glloyd]

Keep swinging, not caring what or who I hit. SWING SWING SWING.