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Author Topic: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror  (Read 3796 times)

Henny

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Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« on: February 16, 2014, 09:31:17 pm »

This is just a little project of mine. I'm comfortable at the basics of Dwarf Fortress, but not the more advanced stuff. I haven't been through an ambush or siege yet, for example. My possible screw-ups and inevitable (?) doom might thus be amusing. The basic idea is that I embark with loads of coal and build loads of traps with glass weapons for protection.

If you want to be dorfed, holler!

(This post is reserved for future use)
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Henny

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2014, 09:32:04 pm »

Diary of Kadol Tumammelbil, 10th of Slate 252

Things have been so busy lately that I haven't really had time to write in this diary. With a bit of spare time available, I can finally put to words some of what has happened this past month.



Our trade caravan was going quite well when our broker suggested that we take a "shortcut" through the Desert of Odors. We were traversing through this aptly named death-trap when the unthinkable happened.



The yak bulls who pulled our wagon were near fainting due to the sweltering desert heat and the sheer weight of our cargo. However, what finally stopped us was a wheel on our wagon which finally gave in and broke. Our idiot of a mechanic had convinced us to upgrade to a new, "improved" wagon model now explained that the wheel mechanism was far too advanced for him to fix without an anvil - which he assured us we didn't need to bring along before the trip.

I suggested we take the little food and booze left to get to the nearby stream, but the legendary Dwarven greed set into the hearts of my compatriots. They feared that we wouldn't be able to find the wagon again, or goblins would rob the goods. And so we're staying here until a caravan with an anvil just so happens to stop by. I really should have stayed home in the mines...



Looking at the inventory list I made shortly after our arrival, it's a bit difficult to understand why. Several Urists worth of coal, wood and sand? It's little wonder the wagon broke. Apparently the "sheer bulk" trade strategy is supposed to be smart, but I have difficulty understanding why. The wood could be useful in our predicament, but whatcould sand possibly be used for in an Armokdamn desert?

Also, I can maybe understand turkeys, but why seven dogs?

Surrounded by stupidity, for the good of the caravan I took up the role of supreme leader - no more of their shit. As a start, I reviewed our abilities.

(a note has been attached to the diary page)

Two Miners
-Both Adequate Miners

One Mason
-Adequate Mason
-Adequate Engraver
-Novice Carpenter
-Novice Appraiser

One Glassmaker
-Competent Glassmaker

One Mechanic
-Competent Mechanic
-Novice Stonecrafter

One Planter
-Competent Grower

One Farmer
-Competent Herbalist
-Adequate Ambusher
-Adequate Brewer
-Novice Cook
-Novice Clothesmaker

They're not the best and brightest, exactly.



It's bad luck to make a settlement, even temporarily, without giving it a name. However, I can't interpret "Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb of Horror" as being especially lucky - the rationale is apparently that it's supposed to scare would-be thieves away.



While I wrote "supreme leader", there were some... political differences. For example, only perhaps a day after the wagon accident a giant louse was spotted, and the farmers merrily agreed that one would get the crossbow while the other built a butchery. The others kind of wanted to do their own thing as well, so I commanded a carpenter's, smelter and glass forge to be built on the surface while me and my pal started digging.



The hunting trip ended in utter failure, him never having held a crossbow in his life, and the louse slinking away. A waste of ammo.



This didn't stop him from immediately rushing out when a pack of giant thrips showed up. After running out of ammo, I gave him a rough scolding and told him to get brewing, since we're out of alcohol. The stocks are dry, and it's very important for the morale. Not dieing of thirst is a secondary considerment as well.



I decided to deal with the food problem myself, and ordered a yak slaughtered - poor things are starving, anyway. While I'd like to move the butchery down, having it on the surface is kind of good for dealing with the smell in case of rot - though I ordered most of us on food hauling duty still, because I don't like wasting food.

Speaking of which, I forgot to set up a tannery first, but I'll strike that down to the others' stupidity distracting me.



My fellow miner, who always struck me as reasonable, somehow fell for that no-good mechanic. While they're happy, I can't say I'm overjoyed by this development.



Seriously, what does she see in him? That double-braided moustache is simply hideous.

Those bad news aside, I'll now make a basic layout of the settlement we've built so far.



First is the top floor. I plan to move the butchery down, but the carpenter seems to like the proximity to wood and the glassmaker absolutely refuses to burn coal underground - quite understandable, honestly.



There's talk of goblins in the area, and while my pick is ready to split some skulls, our military prowess doesn't impress me. Thus, I've commissioned and a couple of walls to be built should we be here long.



One story below is the kitchen area, which is very much a work in progress. On the left I also plan to build a trade depot to accomodate any passing caravan - it's what why we're here for, right?



Two stories below the kitchen is the workshop area, which isn't all that impressive to be honest. The boys and gals don't need a lot of space for what they work on, really.



Furthest down is the living quarters, which is starting to like rather good considering the circumstances. I'll have to admit the place is growing on me.


[several pages worth of vomiting and retching]

Note: There's a slight chance we might be able to eat thrips real soon. Though I'm not sure I necessarily want to.
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jrrocks05

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2014, 09:39:35 pm »

I want first military axedwarf named ares. Prone to going berserk talks about killing things alot
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PlayingGood

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2014, 09:16:38 am »

Thoughts of Smackerlips

Stupid Hunt... Hicup.... Hunter thiinks he can shot arrows... why all is the booze gone? Whereee is the booze!??


Also, i do not believe our leader tells me... ME! to go down underground and work the furance! I will just no... Hicup!.... Not do its....

Maybe if its above ground, i will drink booze and light the furance up.



OOC:

Dwarf me as the drunk Glassmaker named Smackerlips please.

Really enjoyed your write up, and desert location is always awesome.
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Senshuken

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2014, 10:34:58 am »

Journal of Senshuken Alexander

Date: 10th of Slate, 252

How DARE all these bastards try to shift the blame of being stuck out in the middle of gods forsaken nowhere!

Yes, I recommended that we upgrade to a wagon that wouldn't fall apart due to a slight breeze or the occasional goblin arrow, but I wasn't in charge of deciding what was put on the damn thing! I tried to get an anvil put on it but our broker back home refused since (According to them):
A) Anvils are expensive.
B) They weigh a lot and they were 'afraid that it would overburden the wagon' (Didn't stop them from doing that with trade goods however. Bloody hypocrites).

So for the foreseeable future, we're all going to be living at the little 'slice of heaven' now known to the world as 'Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb of Horror'. I'm not completely sure how we agreed on that name, but taking into account that the only other name that was suggested was 'BloomingPetal, the blossom of the desert river' (Rejected for just how ungodly elfish it sounded; at least Desertdeath sounds dwarfish) and here we are. 

It's not all doom and gloom however. I've recently starting talking to one of our miners. We seem to be getting on and we're decided to try going steady for the time being and seeing how it goes. I really do like her and I honestly hope that it works out, because between what we've already been through and what will no doubt be the hardship ahead I really want there to be a silver lining of some kind to this bloody big cloud. I really don't want to jinx this.

I'll talk to our overseer in a little bit once he has had a chance to cool down and have something to eat once our 'hunter' finally gets his shit together. Considering that the closest thing we have to a solder to defend us at the moment is said useless 'hunter', we need to build some proper defenses or we will be completely screwed when sand raiders or goblins show up to raid us.

 My first suggestion?

We dig a sizable moat around Desertdeath, allowing us to keep the workshops and the trade hub protected as well, the only way to cross being draw bridges. Then, we fill that moat with sharp spikes. I'm sure we will encounter something to make those spikes out of soon enough. After that, we build a wall on the inside of the moat, ensuring that nothing can climb out of the pit onto our side and enforcing that the only way to enter our turf by foot is by the bridges. Anything that can fly will still be an issue, but it's a start and I'll feel a lot better once we have some sort of defense in place.

I'll try to write again when I have a moment. Things are going to get worse before they have a chance of getting better.

OOC:

Dwarf me as the Mechanic by the name of Senshuken Alexander please.     
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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2014, 07:05:48 pm »

Journal of Senshuken Alexander

Date: 10th of Slate, 252

How DARE all these bastards try to shift the blame of being stuck out in the middle of gods forsaken nowhere!

Yes, I recommended that we upgrade to a wagon that wouldn't fall apart due to a slight breeze or the occasional goblin arrow, but I wasn't in charge of deciding what was put on the damn thing! I tried to get an anvil put on it but our broker back home refused since (According to them):
A) Anvils are expensive.
B) They weigh a lot and they were 'afraid that it would overburden the wagon' (Didn't stop them from doing that with trade goods however. Bloody hypocrites).

So for the foreseeable future, we're all going to be living at the little 'slice of heaven' now known to the world as 'Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb of Horror'. I'm not completely sure how we agreed on that name, but taking into account that the only other name that was suggested was 'BloomingPetal, the blossom of the desert river' (Rejected for just how ungodly elfish it sounded; at least Desertdeath sounds dwarfish) and here we are. 

It's not all doom and gloom however. I've recently starting talking to one of our miners. We seem to be getting on and we're decided to try going steady for the time being and seeing how it goes. I really do like her and I honestly hope that it works out, because between what we've already been through and what will no doubt be the hardship ahead I really want there to be a silver lining of some kind to this bloody big cloud. I really don't want to jinx this.

I'll talk to our overseer in a little bit once he has had a chance to cool down and have something to eat once our 'hunter' finally gets his shit together. Considering that the closest thing we have to a solder to defend us at the moment is said useless 'hunter', we need to build some proper defenses or we will be completely screwed when sand raiders or goblins show up to raid us.

 My first suggestion?

We dig a sizable moat around Desertdeath, allowing us to keep the workshops and the trade hub protected as well, the only way to cross being draw bridges. Then, we fill that moat with sharp spikes. I'm sure we will encounter something to make those spikes out of soon enough. After that, we build a wall on the inside of the moat, ensuring that nothing can climb out of the pit onto our side and enforcing that the only way to enter our turf by foot is by the bridges. Anything that can fly will still be an issue, but it's a start and I'll feel a lot better once we have some sort of defense in place.

I'll try to write again when I have a moment. Things are going to get worse before they have a chance of getting better.

OOC:

Dwarf me as the Mechanic by the name of Senshuken Alexander please.     

Nice journal  :)

Wonder who is going to take the ranger, he seems to already be damned by us.

Desert life is hard.
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Henny

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2014, 07:49:31 pm »

@jrrocks - It's going to be quite a while before the first military axedwarf, but I'll keep that in mind.

@PlayingGood - Thank ye.

@Senshuken - Well-written post. Moat filled with spike traps sounds very dwarvenly, but walls can't be deconstructed by building destroyers, right? I'll consider it for later.

-------

Diary of Kadol "Henny" Tumammelbil, 1st of Hematite 252

It's summer now. Well, I don't think there are summers here, but according to the calendar it is so. Here's what's happened recently.



The others have taken to calling me by my middle name, to avoid confusion with my similarly named fellow miner - even though my surname would surely show more respect.



I've finally put Smackerlips on making weapons - much appreciated since it's his favourite thing to make. I thought about making serrated glass discs since they're apparently better, but they're also twice as valuable. You'd think thieves wouldn't know a thing about the going-ons of seven dwarves with no contact with civilization, but it always gets out somehow. Do they have a spy network or something? Anyway, before we've put our house in order, we're going to try to skimp on the impressive stuff.

Giant axe blades are also more dwarvenly, obviously.




Administration is an undervalued art that requires skillful attention, and I've generously taken these burdens upon my shoulders - with my newly installed office I should finally be able to make some actual progress in this aspect. Being able to write my diary in here is nice too. Last time the brewer tried to sneak a peek. It was fun slapping him on the cheek, but I should hopefully avoid doing that in the future.

The turkeys have also gotten their own "offices".



I decided to have the other yak slaughtered as well, because it looks like it'll drop dead any moment now. Eating an animal that has starved to death is below even my standards. Well that, and the dumbasses will probably decide to throw it on the refuse pile before butchering it. If at all.



Our planter has started grumbling about being fed up with furniture hauling and "butcherin' ta poor animals", so I've put him on what he's actually good at. Sweet pods like it hot, right?

I'm not sure how they'll be able to grow with so little rainfall, but sand desert have low drainage, so I guess there's a lot of moisture locked away in the ground. I guess. I'm not sure how planting them in sand is good for the plants either, but I'm not a farmer, after all.



In between my intensive yak fat counting, I squeezed in a couple of minutes to draw up the fortress defense plan. Goblins aren't the brightest so I suppose they'll like the trap-laden corridor to the trap-free caravan path. My miner comrade complained about me "sitting and counting barrels" while she starts on it. Can't they see the importance of what I'm doing here? We need exact accuracy.



The others didn't seem to understand - the near lack of rock being a standing argument - so I guess I'm going to have to help out with the mining a bit. It feels nice practicing my pick swing again, so it's not all bad.



The mason came running yelling about a "creature" obstructing the construction site. Upon further questioning, this turned out to be himself. I demanded he explain his behaviour, and he gave me some nonsense explanation about fear of walling himself out.

...It's pretty clear he's the one who suggested we bring lots of heavy coal, wood and sand in the first place.




Lastly, another strange show of behaviour happened today. Senshuken the mechanic was showing me something. He went to the bridge and shouted to the others below to pull the lever. And... nothing happened. He assured me it was "a mere technical problem". I'm not sure what to make of this.

OOC: Apparently DFhack's mouse query interfered with the lever linking. I hope I can fix it by disabling the function.
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PlayingGood

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2014, 08:52:43 pm »

Thoughts of Smackerlips, the drunken Glassmaker


Damn dogs... all these dogs! Why did we bring so many! I'm going to get a drink.

Oh, this glass spike is goood, why i thunk it is too good even, i wonder if anyone would notice my stashing it somewhere... Wait, betters not, Henny might have my beard for stealing.

Well, maybe iz just gets another drank.

Woaw! Theses axes i jus made are soooo good! I love this! Jus letta me get one more drunk, then i will compleet this order.

Okazy, i jus count how manzy i made now..
Ones, twos, thre... three.. floor....



OOC: That trap corridor is awesome, man i can't wait to see how those glass weapons maim those goblins. Always fun to see how overseers protect the fortress, seems to be unlimited options.
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Senshuken

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2014, 10:04:07 pm »

Journel of Senshuken Alexander

Date: 1st Hematite, 252

I. Hate. Mice.

The fact that they are food stealing, plague carrying vermin aside the little shits seem to have taken it upon themselves to screw with my works even at the cost of their own lives!

I was taking the time to show our overseer the new bridge and demonstrate how it worked, only to pull the lever with nothing happening. I had to tell him it was a "mere technical problem". I've never been so embarrassed in my life... and when I went down to try to work out what went wrong, how surprised I was to discover the remains of what was once a huge damn rat jammed into the gears, clogging up the works. Little bastard must have gotten caught in them.

I haven't seen another other signs of mice, but if there is one there is bound to be more. I'm going to request we get some damn cats as soon as possible. It may be a pain in the ass to have the damn furballs under foot, but at least you can eat them and they don't jam up my machines!

Henry seems to have taken my suggestion for a moat filled with spikes seriously, even if he was a little put off about the walls to go with it. Glass wasn't the first thing that came to mind for spikes, but now that I've come to think about it glass can be truly brutal as an impaling weapon, the fact that it can break off and shatter in the wounds might make it hard to maintain but damn will it get the message across fast. The fact that it also makes use of not just the sand we've brought, but the sand we've found ourselves surrounded in makes it surprising efficient.

Smackerlips the Glassmaker appears to be a complete and utter light weight when it comes to his booze. I've seen elves remain standing after drinking more then him for gods sakes.     
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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2014, 10:31:03 pm »

This is interesting so far!  Will keep reading.  Like the "accidentally stranded in the desert" and "mountains of coal" setup, lol.

Might I be dorfed as the remaining miner?
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Senshuken

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2014, 10:46:59 pm »

This is interesting so far!  Will keep reading.  Like the "accidentally stranded in the desert" and "mountains of coal" setup, lol.

Might I be dorfed as the remaining miner?

I don't see why not. Just write a journal entry and take it from there. He'll fill you in as soon as he can.
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Henny

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2014, 11:28:21 am »

After some experimentation I figured out the bridge problem was not DFhack's fault, but my own damn fault for not researching bridges well enough before building one. Embarrassing! Problem solved, at least.

This is interesting so far!  Will keep reading.  Like the "accidentally stranded in the desert" and "mountains of coal" setup, lol.

Might I be dorfed as the remaining miner?
Done.
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Henny

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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2014, 06:51:50 pm »

Diary of Kadol "Henny" Tumammelbil, 24th Malachite 252



Our defense situation is vastly more secure with the completion of the wall, and the bridge finally working as intended with a few minor modifications. We've got depot access and everything now.

Also, the farmer and mason went behind my back and built a windmill and without consulting me. The plan is to leave as soon as possible, what's the use of a windmill? Not only that, but if they had asked me first I could've told them that not channeling a hole in the ground to connect the windmill with the millstone is stupid. Now they - and me - have to waste precious time to fix this.

OOC: I'm not always the brightest.

It's got 40 Urists worth of power - apparently it's pretty windy here. Not that we have a lot that needs powering, though.



In the kitchen area things are going rather splendidly. The butchery is finally relocated, and a lot of other workshops have started construction as well. This summer and autumn we're making cave wheat and pig tails - hopefully selling the latter should make up for some of our lost profits.



To complement defense Senshuken has finally started setting up weapon traps. A lot of these weapons can be squeezed into one trap, apparently. A few more of these babies and I'm confident they could slice n' dice any goblin intruder.



Might take a while, though. While Smackerlips hits the booze a little too hard even for a dwarf (and even drinks it out of a green glass bottle he made instead of straight out of the barrel... rather elvish), one can fault him for the work he makes. The goods are spit out with assembly line efficiency, with great quality as well. Unfortunately, the bottle neck of glass production seems to be those sand bags, and consequently trap production. I'll see if I can streamline this process somehow.

Smackerlips looked awfully wry when I told him to collect the sand, but when I announced that satisfactory completion of this task would yield a doubled alcohol allotment I was met with an enthusiastic roar.



A downside of having your farmer be the only to harvest is that he could take a long-ass break and immediately fall asleep afterwards while the fields are unharvested and unplowed...

Overall, it's going pretty great. I'm confident we could make it to the caravan arriving without any more troubles. After we get going again, perhaps we could this base a resting place on the way home.

-------

Diary of Kadol "Henny" Tumammelbil, 26th Malachite 252




We might have a problem here. Smackerlips came shouting about a "bird man *hic*", and I got evidence of this when I spotted an uninvited guest checking out the loom. My Idiot's Guide To Birdwatching I always take with me says it's a raven man. Whatever they are, they look awfully strong. If they get serious about attacking us, I'm not sure if everyone is getting out of this alive.




Pretty much at the same time a group of what looks to be dwarves have appeared. I don't know what they want from us, but hopefully they can help us.

Er, I think I can hear a crowing of one of those things. Bye diary.
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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2014, 07:45:47 pm »

Drunken singing of Smackerlips, Moziraban


Gulp, gulp,

Az merry dwarf ares a drunk dwarf! Double the dwarfen wine, makes Smackerlips just fine!!

Collecting sand, shoveling it into bags, drinking from a green glass bottle, and singing

We cames here for tradings, but we ares stuck here hicup for dyings,
So drinks, drinks, drink! Let Armok never sees you crying,
for az dwarfen life is about blood and slaying,
Let all womens have beards, so hicup! we cans get to the layings,
And sure enough we will be playing,
For a dwarf lifez is jus for ---

OH'S SHIT! shit shit shit shit!

Go aways you filthy feathered flying worm muncher man!

Oh Shit oh shit oh shit!

HENNNYY! HENNNNNY!


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Re: Desertdeath the Dreadful Tomb Of Horror
« Reply #14 on: February 19, 2014, 01:22:53 am »

Journel of Senshuken Alexander

Date: 26th Malachite 252

As much as I hate to admit the fact, trap production is slow. While some of it can be blamed on the lack of people to move stuff to each station as required, a lot of the delays are very much related to the fact that Glass is a pain in the ass to weaponize beyond something like a simple spike. The one real advantage of glass as a weapon is that it can break off inside of the son of a bitch you've stabbed it into; which should explain just how hard it is to turn the stuff into an axe blade. Damn stuff shatters at the drop of a glass cup (no pun intended).

Another disadvantage that I've been thinking of as of late is the fact that if whatever is attacking us is wearing halfway decent armor, all a glass sword would do is shatter without doing jack shit. Fair is fair, considering the fact we're in the middle of the desert anyone wearing plate mail is going to be roosted alive in their armor by the heat that might not be a major issue in the near future but it's worth getting our hands on some sort of real metal as soon as possible.

Smackerlips was screaming earlier today about 'filthy feathered flying worm muncher men' or something. Turns out he wasn't just seeing shit after his latest bender. Some sort of human/raven hybrid has shown up. I confess that it's parentage would be a rather interesting story but our safety must comes first. I've only heard about one of them being here so far, but gods help us if a whole murder of them decide to show up.

A company of dwarfs seems to be approaching our position. So far their intentions are unknown. We'll have to see how this plays out...

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