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Misty Kolnazom, the Greatest Cheesemaker Ever!

Reg Pashmad the Recruit

Gruzzlus Holt the Captain

Plumpy the Plump Helmet Man

Kulet Lokunnomel the Nun

Enir Twigappears the Overseer

Darkerdaffodil the Elf

Maynard the Mule

Other

Iron Owl the Iron Knight

[TheBrisbyMouse]

F5 spamming intensifies

[spazyak]

F5 spamming intensifies

I broke my F5 a long time ago....

[Evaris]

[evictedSaint]

"What is that, eight hours of worship?  Ten?  Not much, but at least you're not worshiping that dung-heap Stonetusk.  Everyone else in this miserable little hole is worshiping him.  Coming here was a mistake."





"Well, why DID you come here, then?"

"Glad you asked!  Nothing I like more than explaining my motivations to a mortal.  I love having to dumb everything down!  It's totally not a waste of time!  Try to keep up, alright?  But if you don't, that's fine too!  I love repeating myself!"





"I stepped down from a higher, holy plane of existence.  From my majestic, ethereal, formless being I coalesced into what you see before you; a glorious, perfect cow.  It was my Avatar, the binding of my Will to the mortal plane.  It was to shock and awe all who gazed upon it with its powerful horns, glossy coat, bountiful udders, and haunting moo's. 

No perfect thing exists in the mortal plane, but truly my body was as close as you could get.  Nothing was more pure, more perfect, or more beautiful than the cow."





"To Shielddawn I pranced on precise, dexterous hooves.  My goal was simple; to sway the inhabitants of this bloody little stain from the violence and depravity of Stonetusk, but instead to the peaceful tranquility of farm work.  Also, a half-dozen other reasons that a mortal like yourself shouldn't concern itself with, but the main goal was to get these dwarves to stop with the murdering and remove them from their worship of Stonetusk."





"That did not work out."





"So yeah, these bloody, bearded idiots ignored what I had to say, caged me, and dumped me in this pen with the rest of the cows.  That was a year ago, and I've been spending my time thinking about what I'll curse that moronic butcher Catten with once he finally slaughters my Avatar and releases my essence back into the heavens.

I'm leaning towards were-cow."





"Wait, so Cowsea sent you to Shielddawn to try and get everyone to stop worshiping Stonetusk?"

"Huh?  Oh, no - I am Cowsea."

"What?"

"Cowsea.  That's me.  I am a God."






"..."









"..."

"...what."





"Are you...sure you're a god?"

next

[Sver]

Attend confession.

[AoshimaMichio]

Holy cow: ruminate that!

[Ultimuh]

Holy cow: ruminate that!

+1

[Rumrusher]

for a cow she sure didn't SEE her capture coming.
that said good thing no one told her she could alter the race of her avatar to be a cow-woman or a Cow-Were-cow... what do you call an animal person getting infected with a Were curse of the same animal type?

[cochramd]

"Am.....am I in a strange mood?" (probably not so early in the game, but hey, it doesn't hurt to ask)"Can I please milk you and make cheese from your milk? It would be the greatest honor I will ever have." Actually, now that I think about it, wouldn't milking cows until we became Adequate Milkers get us out of hauling duty?

[expwnent]

On the udder hand, at least she gets free meals.

[Ultimuh]

Misty would need a bucket in order to milk any cows.

[cochramd]

Clearly we must obtain 5 40 buckets and start milking. That's enough to get us to Adequate Milker plus a little to spare; once our profession title changes, we will probably be freed from hauling duty and have unlimited farmer's workshop access, leaving us free to make as much cheese as we please so much as no one pays too much attention to us. To maintain our profession title (and with it, the ruse), we can only make one cheese wheel for every time we've milked something, at least until we're in too deep for them to reassign us to hauling. We'll need to stop milking before we become legendary milkers (wouldn't want to be stuck with that for our profession, would we?), but in the meantime at least we'll be training 4/6 of the attributes we need for cheesemaking. Spinning and threshing also train 4/6 of the attributes we need, so if there's nothing else to milk but we don't have a good chance to secretly make cheese at the moment we should try our hand at those skills too. Training in those skills (and maybe shearing too if we get really desperate) will deepen our cover, give us more workshop access and make us harder to reassign to hauling when we reveal our true intent.

[Rexfelum]

Before we stumble over ourself, do something stupid, and cut the scene short,* gotta get this in:

Misty: Ride holy cow like a mechanical bull.

--Rexfelum

* Not to say MY suggestion would achieve different ends.

[The Lupanian]

Two things, 1 Ask if it will bw able to help you once it gets out of its avatar form (you know, revive the elf, help make cheese) and 2, ask if you can milk it and make cheese out of god milk

[Button]

Offer to kill Cowsea's avatar if it would help.