I INTRODUCE THE TOWN TO THE NEW MILLENNIUM
[6] YOU PUSH A FUCKTON OF BUTTONS AT RANDOM AND THE CONTROL PANEL BLACKS OUT FOR A MOMENT.
"PLAYER SIX HAS ADVANCED INTO THE DIGITAL AGE."THE TOWN TRANSFORMS INTO A FINE EXAMPLE OF 21ST CENTURY ALTERMODERNIST NEOMINIMALISM AND TANKS BEGIN TO FIRE AT THE TOWN WALLS WHICH HAVE ABOUT AS INEXPLICABLY AS EVERYTHING ELSE TURNED INTO WALLS OF SOLID LASER. AN AIR BATTLE BEGINS ABOVE YOU. TOTALLY NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING.
I STEAL ALL OF THEIR THINGS AND THEN ACCIDENTALLY BANANA
[1] YOU FIND YOURSELF A PERFECT OCCASION TO STEAL A BANANA. A TOWN GUARD, EQUIPPED WITH A LASER RIFLE, EXPLAINS HOW BANANAS MAKE PERFECT SELF DEFENSE WEAPONS IN TIMES OF NEED. YOU EMBED THE BANANA WITH YOUR FOREHEAD AND MAKE A RUN FOR IT. THE TOWNSFOLK PELTS YOU WITH EVEN MORE BANANAS. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?
diG DOWN AND UNLEASH CLOWNS UPON THE TOWN
[5] AFTER A JOURNEY OF MANY SECONDS YOU FIND THE "RELEASE APOCALYPSE" SWITCH. PULLING IT WITH UTMOST EXPERTISE YOU RELEASE A WAVE OF DEMONIC SANITY DESTROYERS ON AN UNSUSPECTING POPULACE. ALSO BANANAS. THIS IS OUR LIFE NOW.
DEVELOP ARM CANNONS, DESTROY ONE THIRD OF THE TOWNSFOLK.
[4] ARM CANNONS GET! THESE ARE MIGHTILY USEFUL IN DESTROYING UNSUSPECTING TOWNSFOLK. ALRIGHT, SO THEY'RE SUSPECTING THINGS AT THIS POINT, WHO CARES? THEY'RE STILL INNOCENT AND SHIT. PROBABLY. I DON'T EVEN KNOW, ARE THEY?
T: "jon, you need any help? looks like you're in deep shit after that techrush"
T: "looks fine so far just gotta push back 0"