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[Remuthra]

Celebrate?

[zacen299]

((Great there is like no way to get out of this with my guns is there? Next time maybe just maybe I should take more combat stats if I'm to start in the fight like this.))


Smash my head into the leaders crotch then jump back grab my guns signal my dog to run then run down the alley all hopefully without getting shot (fat chance at that.)

[Stirk]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Old Man Bridger
History: -Engaging First-person Monologue-
It was a cold gray September morning when I came outside to realize it had been taken. My entire collection of vintage lawn ornaments, stolen in the night! I knew it was those damned religious nuts over in the building down the road. Damned crazy scientologists over there were always parading about with rare lawn statues and such. They took my '97, my '86, even my '53 collectors' flamingo! I knew something had to be done. A man doesn't take another man's decorations. That's a capital crime in Florida, and this place sure is sunny. I strapped on my glove and picked up my gun, and headed down the road.
Items:
Leather Glove, Black Fedora, Gray Wifebeater, Pink Bathrobe, Gray Cargo Pants, Pink Bunny Slippers, ID Card, Wallet, '90s cell phone, Bottle of Whiskey, .357 S&W Magnum(2d6), Combat Knife(LW,1d6), Sasha, Celine, Mr. Smith, Eric Clapton, Joan, Bill Nye, Henderson, Little Joe  (Combat Fitted) (Sub machine gun 1d10)
Guns: 20
Melee: 10
Agility: 35
Knowledge: 10
Charisma: 15
Abilities:
Duel Wield

WRONG! The correct answer was "Get abducted by aliens".

A second wave of confetti fills the room, covering up the blue light that surrounds you. You slowly lift off the ground, the court room visible below you. The only one who notices is your lawyer, who just shrugs and says "I really shouldn't do cocaine before work."

You continue to rise slowly, going through the roof of the building as if you where a ghost, continuing to rise. The land below you looks like a model, maybe a sims game. In front of the building is a bunch of people now the size of ants, also celebrating your "death" verdict. Above you is blue sky...

Or a cloaked space ship! Suddenly, the sky above you opens up like a sliding door, letting you in the invisible ship. So you don't see it open. You hear it I guess.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!!" One invisible alien states, shaking you back and forth. "HOW CAN OUR RACE LIVE WITHOUT THE GENIUS THAT IS TOM CRUISE!"

"Easy, easy" a second invisible alien states, pulling him off you. Well, that is probably what he did. You can't see anything but blue.

"HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE SUCH A THING! HAVN'T YOU SEEN MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, ROCK OF AGES, LIONS FOR LAMBS!?!?!" the voice stated, probably struggling in the grip of the other alien.

"It will be over soon buddy." the second alien states, to his friend. He then turns to you (probably), "The humans may have let you off easy, but we will make sure you are punished. Tom Cruise is a hero to the Migo, we where keeping a close eye on this trial. We will make sure you die in an incredibly painful manner in vengeance for our beloved icon. "

What do you do now?

==============

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Aiden Wainright
History: An Ex-English teacher who after getting fired because he mouthed of the head head of the school-board became a PMC after his entire squad was massacred by various Eldritch beings. He has since been tracking down any he can find and making sure they cease to exist.
Items:
-A Barrett M107A1 with bipod and custom carrying case labeled with Fenris in large gothic font. (2d12)

-A Beretta M9A1 (1d10)

-An ACU (Army Combat Uniform) with an Advanced Combat Helmet with goggles and balaclava.

-A large black trenchcoat with no pockets.

-And a large Malamute that follows him everywhere.
Armor: 5
Guns:35
Melee:0
Agility:10
Knowledge:25
Charisma:30
Abilities: One Shot, One Kill

You could try it, there is only 1 "villain" and about 20 minions. Not great chances, but not impossible. Even death may die, after all.
By the way, why headbutt? Of all the things you could slam into his crotch, a fist, a foot, why your head? Seems like the least pleasant choice, and more then a little awkward.

=============

You move like a spring, bringing your head down into the leader's crotch, hitting solidly.

The man doesn't react. He takes a second bite of the mushroom, finishing it. He moves his shotgun now, pointing it directly to the side of your head, holding it with a single hand as if it was a hand gun.

What do you do now?

=============

As you should probably notice by now, that mushroom grants immunity to pain. Among other things.

[Remuthra]

I must do the only thing I can. Prepare for a heroic escape scene.

[zacen299]

((I assumed I was kneeling in front of him I.E the quickest way to hit him would be a headbutt. Also I think I'm screwed.))

Telepathically hope for help while trying to break his arm that's holding the gun THEN running as planned in the previous turn. (I think I might be dead meat)

[Stirk]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Old Man Bridger
History: -Engaging First-person Monologue-
It was a cold gray September morning when I came outside to realize it had been taken. My entire collection of vintage lawn ornaments, stolen in the night! I knew it was those damned religious nuts over in the building down the road. Damned crazy scientologists over there were always parading about with rare lawn statues and such. They took my '97, my '86, even my '53 collectors' flamingo! I knew something had to be done. A man doesn't take another man's decorations. That's a capital crime in Florida, and this place sure is sunny. I strapped on my glove and picked up my gun, and headed down the road.
Items:
Leather Glove, Black Fedora, Gray Wifebeater, Pink Bathrobe, Gray Cargo Pants, Pink Bunny Slippers, ID Card, Wallet, '90s cell phone, Bottle of Whiskey, .357 S&W Magnum(2d6), Combat Knife(LW,1d6), Sasha, Celine, Mr. Smith, Eric Clapton, Joan, Bill Nye, Henderson, Little Joe  (Combat Fitted) (Sub machine gun 1d10)
Guns: 20
Melee: 10
Agility: 35
Knowledge: 10
Charisma: 15
Abilities:
Duel Wield

How, exactly, does one prepare for a heroic escape seen inside an invisible flying saucer?

-------------------------

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Aiden Wainright
History: An Ex-English teacher who after getting fired because he mouthed of the head head of the school-board became a PMC after his entire squad was massacred by various Eldritch beings. He has since been tracking down any he can find and making sure they cease to exist.
Items:
-A Barrett M107A1 with bipod and custom carrying case labeled with Fenris in large gothic font. (2d12)

-A Beretta M9A1 (1d10)

-An ACU (Army Combat Uniform) with an Advanced Combat Helmet with goggles and balaclava.

-A large black trenchcoat with no pockets.

-And a large Malamute that follows him everywhere.
Armor: 5
Guns:35
Melee:0
Agility:10
Knowledge:25
Charisma:30
Abilities: One Shot, One Kill
21

You have no confidence in your character, do you? I am dreading to see what happens when your character is forced to fight something a bit tougher then back ally Tcho-Tcho.
===================================

You act fast, bringing down both your elbows on the man's arm in an attempt to snap it. It goes incredibly well, you feel the arm give way with a viscous *crack*, sending the shotgun sprawling to the ground. (Critical hit! My dice seems to like getting 1s). The man's expression doesn't change as you leap back, grab your gun successfully, and run off while whistling to your dog.

Gunfire echoes down the street, as the flashes of numerous guns light up the building. You try your best to be elusive, but feel a sharp pain in your left shoulder seconds after you start running. You wince in pain while grabbing it, but continue unimpaired. The trash bin inches closer, you prepare mentally to jump over it as bullets crash around you. Ten feet, five feet, two feet....

In front of the trash can, you stumble and fall. Not on your own, a bullet lodged itself in your right thigh, again sending a sharp pain through your body. (Another critical hit. Normally minions don't get them, but it only seemed fair.) You take a deep breath as another round of fire sprays around you, spraying up dust. One hits inches away from your dog, at your side as you bring yourself to your feet. You pull yourself over the trash bin, sending a jolt through your body as you land on your injured leg. Your dog jumps over your head, clearing the bin in a single jump. Sparks fly around you, as bullets start to eat at the bin. You finally crawl over the other side, careful to land on your good foot this time.

What do you do now?

[Remuthra]

Why, by seizing the invisible controls and crash-landing the invisible saucer.

[zacen299]

((It's not that I don't have confidence in my character it's that I don't have confidence in the dice. Generally I find they hate me at all the worst times. Which you know is most of them.))

Check nearby to see if there is anywhere else to run or anything to use to stall them with.

(Also what do you mean by trash bin? A dumpster or something smaller?)

[Stirk]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Old Man Bridger
History: -Engaging First-person Monologue-
It was a cold gray September morning when I came outside to realize it had been taken. My entire collection of vintage lawn ornaments, stolen in the night! I knew it was those damned religious nuts over in the building down the road. Damned crazy scientologists over there were always parading about with rare lawn statues and such. They took my '97, my '86, even my '53 collectors' flamingo! I knew something had to be done. A man doesn't take another man's decorations. That's a capital crime in Florida, and this place sure is sunny. I strapped on my glove and picked up my gun, and headed down the road.
Items:
Leather Glove, Black Fedora, Gray Wifebeater, Pink Bathrobe, Gray Cargo Pants, Pink Bunny Slippers, ID Card, Wallet, '90s cell phone, Bottle of Whiskey, .357 S&W Magnum(2d6), Combat Knife(LW,1d6), Sasha, Celine, Mr. Smith, Eric Clapton, Joan, Bill Nye, Henderson, Little Joe  (Combat Fitted) (Sub machine gun 1d10)
Guns: 20
Melee: 10
Agility: 35
Knowledge: 10
Charisma: 15
Abilities:
Duel Wield

You jump up, breaking through the tractor beam and start grabbing random things looking for the controls. You feel your hand go through something that feels like paper, with the sound of tearing paper filling the room (If you are in fact, in a room. You look like you are floating still.) "MY LIFE SIZE TOM CRUISE PORTRAIT!" One of the invisible aliens shouts as you continue to move your hands about as if in interpretive dance. You hit something hard, sending it crashing to the ground with the sound of breaking plaster. "MY TOM CRUISE BUST!! I HAD THAT SIGNED!" the other shouted. "He isn't satisfied with just killing the great Cruise! He wants to erase all the evidence that he ever existed! I am sorry for holding you back, we must kill him now!" he finishes shouting, with the sound of him being held back finishing. You finally manage to hit something that feels like a red button, which makes a nearby door (probably) open with a futuristic *Swoosh*, revealing non other then Thomas Crews! On a toilet! Reading "So a Migo Stole Your Brain Monthly", which thankfully covered everything important. He looks up at you, still wearing sunglasses. Everything around him was invisible though, so you are only guessing he is on the toilet.

"YOU!" He shouts, without moving. "You're not so tough without your birds, ah? My friends and I will take you down harder then you took down poor, innocent, sweat, sexy Tom Cruise!"

And the stench! The stench from that room resounded as if a thousand rat pellets had devoured a thousand rat pellets and created another thousand rat pellets! It is such a horrid odor that you are forced to recall, trying in vain to cover your nose. Something that feels like a car's manual shift, pushing it in odd directions. Suddenly, the world around you changes as the UFO moves around. In an instant, you are above the pyramids, Tokyo, Gaza! Above it all, if for only a second, perfectly visible through the invisible floor. The next instant, you are above a snowy area. Soon, as if invisible strings keeping the ship up where cut, you begin tumbling toward Earth.

What do you do now?

=============

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Aiden Wainright
History: An Ex-English teacher who after getting fired because he mouthed of the head head of the school-board became a PMC after his entire squad was massacred by various Eldritch beings. He has since been tracking down any he can find and making sure they cease to exist.
Items:
-A Barrett M107A1 with bipod and custom carrying case labeled with Fenris in large gothic font. (2d12)

-A Beretta M9A1 (1d10)

-An ACU (Army Combat Uniform) with an Advanced Combat Helmet with goggles and balaclava.

-A large black trenchcoat with no pockets.

-And a large Malamute that follows him everywhere.
Armor: 5
Guns:35
Melee:0
Agility:10
Knowledge:25
Charisma:30
Abilities: One Shot, One Kill
21

((It's not that I don't have confidence in my character it's that I don't have confidence in the dice. Generally I find they hate me at all the worst times. Which you know is most of them.))

He just took to bullets and came out with just a limp. Im sure he will be fine, for now.

I meant dumpster, but couldn't think of the right word if you put a gun to my head and said "Find the word for this dumpster". Replace every time I said "Trash bin" with dumpster.
===============

You look around the alleyway, the seconds you take to examine your surroundings feeling like hours. The brick walls to either side where bear, except for a single window on the right side. You might be able to get through it, but would probably end up getting surrounded. You might be attacked through it, though. The alleyway is incredibly crowded with just you and your dog, if you tried you might be able to use this to your advantage. You might even be able to jump from wall to wall if your lucky, but your leg would make that difficult. There is now only a wooden fence blocking the other side, you should be able to get over it simple enough even with an injured leg, or at least just crash through it, it looks incredibly fragile. Other then that, the only objects you can see are trash. Random beer bottles, cans, paper, and bones litter the thin alleyway. You might be able to make a makeshift trap out of these objects, but the enemy is probably immune to pain making any caltrop like object useless.

What do you do?

[Remuthra]

TOM CRUISE! YOU MUST DIE!

Ragemode all over Tom Cruise.

[Stirk]

You start to move toward Thomas, while the world around you is falling. Thomas does the same, leaving the toilet and pulling his pants up in a single motion. Both of you rush towards each other as if you are flying, the force of the fall lifting your cloths as if under high wind. Thomas spins over to the nearest wall, kicking off and flies toward you with his fist out like superman.

What do you do now?

[Remuthra]

Use my keen dexterity to grab his fist and vault him over me with the weight of his attack so he flies off the ship.

[Stirk]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name: Old Man Bridger
History: -Engaging First-person Monologue-
It was a cold gray September morning when I came outside to realize it had been taken. My entire collection of vintage lawn ornaments, stolen in the night! I knew it was those damned religious nuts over in the building down the road. Damned crazy scientologists over there were always parading about with rare lawn statues and such. They took my '97, my '86, even my '53 collectors' flamingo! I knew something had to be done. A man doesn't take another man's decorations. That's a capital crime in Florida, and this place sure is sunny. I strapped on my glove and picked up my gun, and headed down the road.
Items:
Leather Glove, Black Fedora, Gray Wifebeater, Pink Bathrobe, Gray Cargo Pants, Pink Bunny Slippers, ID Card, Wallet, '90s cell phone, Bottle of Whiskey, .357 S&W Magnum(2d6), Combat Knife(LW,1d6), Sasha, Celine, Mr. Smith, Eric Clapton, Joan, Bill Nye, Henderson, Little Joe  (Combat Fitted) (Sub machine gun 1d10)
Guns: 20
Melee: 10
Agility: 35
Knowledge: 10
Charisma: 15
Abilities:
Duel Wield
8
3

*Hits stopwatch* That was like two minutes. You read, thought an action, and posted in two minutes. How.

==================

You grab the fist instantly as it comes toward you, throwing it and by extension the man its connected to into the air! The body continues, now flying over your head! His legs, however, come down and catch you by the neck in a scissor like fashion. It should be noted that toilet paper was stuck to his shoe.

Both of you continue flying in that general direction intertwined like intertwined bees that are intertwined. Both of you also slam into the same wall, which is still surrounding you and invisible. Your head takes bit of the impact, but Thomas hits with a much more solid thud.

[Remuthra]

Now beat him over the head with the first hard object I find!

[zacen299]

((Can't decide if the obvious escape route is a trap or not.))

Push the dumpster down the alley then run through the flimsy fence (or jump over it whichever seems like it would be more likely to succeed)