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[WillowLuman]

Pray to ElephantParade for control of my body.

[Remuthra]

"I was attempting to destroy outside threats to alpha complex."

Calculating...
Calculating...

There is a 36.22 percent probability that this irresponsible use of all-encompassing pronouns is a result of personal fault rather than terrorist insurgence. Please hold still while you are subjected to Truth Identification Testing.

Inject Playergamer with truth serum to find out if he's a Commie Mutant Terrorist. If he isn't, let him join the Troubleshooters.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Launch potato strikes at people messing with the multiverse.

[Playergamer]

"Not a mutant, or communist, and, uh... define terrorist."

[Remuthra]

"Not a mutant, or communist, and, uh... define terrorist."

A terrorist is one who wishes to in some way harm the functionality of Alpha Complex and the glory of Capitalism.

[Playergamer]

"Ummm... No?"

Without doing anything even remotely noticeable, ready a spell.

[smurfingtonthethird]

Kill military

[6]

Pew pew, MURRICA. They're all dead. You also killed your teammates for good measure. Smooth moves there, buddy.

Obtain more worshipers.

[1]

You turn to the crowd watching you.

"YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WORSHIP ME OR I'LL STOMP ALL OF YOU INTO OBLIVION!"

20/20 hindsight.

Retry levitation. Attempt moving things around with telekinesis. Discover if I have any other magical/psychic/SCIENTIFIC powers.

[1]

You are a loaf of bread. You can roll on your side. Nuttin else.

Appear outside the safe.
Do nothing otherwise.

[2]

You try to reappear. You bonk your head on the safe instead.

Start hunting EP's followers and snapping their necks.

[5]

Neck snapping ensues. The englishmen now are joining up and are preparing to counterattack.

"This is the last straw! This is the very last straw! PREPARE FOR WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
SUMMON PORTAL TO ONE OF MY RTD'S. THEY LAUGHED AT ME, OR SOMETHING. I'LL SHOW THEM, I'LL SHOW THEM ALL TO NOT PARTICIPATE IN MY RTDS. AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

TRANSPORT POKETWO TO ONE OF MY RTDS INSTEAD. A RANDOM EVENT APPEARS OUT OF THE DEEPEST REACHES OF UNIVERSAL ASS AND KILLS POKETWO. THIS KILLS YOU. RESPAWN?

[3] VS [1]

You both promptly fail. You teleported to the GM's private potato storage dimension (UHP-26c's to be precise) instead.

"GET OUT OF MY POTATOES DAMMIT"

PTW

You're one of those things that people grow sprouts on, in the shape of a globe. You are in some random's backyard.

Pray to ElephantParade for control of my body.

[5]

The great one grants your request, but now you owe him one. You'll lose control again if you don't fulfill his request.

"I was attempting to destroy outside threats to alpha complex."

Calculating...
Calculating...

There is a 36.22 percent probability that this irresponsible use of all-encompassing pronouns is a result of personal fault rather than terrorist insurgence. Please hold still while you are subjected to Truth Identification Testing.

Inject Playergamer with truth serum to find out if he's a Commie Mutant Terrorist. If he isn't, let him join the Troubleshooters.

"Ummm... No?"

Without doing anything even remotely noticeable, ready a spell.

[3] VS [1]

The Troubleshooter goes to inject him but misses completely and stabs his friend.

"I AM TOTALLY NOT CHARGING UP A BUNCH OF MAGIC MISSILES YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY."

Launch potato strikes at people messing with the multiverse.

[1]
You are now in the potato dimension. Don't fuck with potatoes, man.

[kj1225]

LEVEL UP!

[Elephant Parade]

WHAT? I WOULDN'T DO THAT. THAT'S NOT A VERY GENTLEMANLY THING TO DO.

OFFER TEA AS REWARD FOR FOLLOWING.

[IcyTea31]

Carp. My avatar might not be the best for this.

Roll around, try to find an exoskeleton body for proper movement and object manipulation.

[Erils]

PTW

You're one of those things that people grow sprouts on, in the shape of a globe. You are in some random's backyard.

Lol. I was wondering whether you were going to include my post in the actions.

[WillowLuman]

Carp. My avatar might not be the best for this.

Roll around, try to find an exoskeleton body for proper movement and object manipulation.

I sense a kindred soul! One who is, like I once was, unable to move effectively!

Find and assist!

[smurfingtonthethird]

If its in bold, its an action, as far as I care.

[darkpaladin109]

Use edltrich wizard powers to make all of EP's tea painfully kill anyone who drinks it.

[SOLDIER First]

Appear outside of the safe.

C'mon RNG gods!