Your performance is displeasing, Citizen. I will be forced to call in additional Troubleshooters to properly complete this mission.
Send out a call to valiant Citizens to join the ranks of the Computer's Troubleshooters and fight Commie Insurgence! Mandated Requisitional Mission Supplies will be available!
[4]
Your message is broadcasted across the city. About 50-60 people turn up.
"Wake up.
[5]
You wake up. Your policewoman friend has moved you to C6, and you are now standing in amongst a crowd of random people. That, and someone's stole your wallet.
Well screw that then.
Leave the magical idiot and his new uniformed friends, find a competent magic person.
[1]
You proceed to run towards a giant smoke column as the policemen shoot you. They riddle your patchwork flesh with bullets.
Become tea god.
[4]
Fine, you're a god now. Sheesh. The englishmen bow down around you in awe and praise your name.
All hail Elephant Parade, god of elephants and tea!Wake up. Crash through the nearest wall. Huzzah!
[3]
You wake up and charge into a wall. It doesn't break.
If we can join whenever, my action is
Suddenly spawn in the middle of the chaos and send EP to the Dark version of the city, and pursue and painfully kill him there with my eldritch powers.
[6]
You spawn next to a god, and warp him to a dark city. You also thought it would be more fun to bring his 200 apostles too. In hindsight, that may not be such a good idea.
You fire eldritch magic at him, but one of his followers takes the bullet, convulsing, then exploding.
Spells.
[4]
You fire a barrage of magic missiles at the remaining military, who are shooting at you. They start retreating. Victory!
Fly away from the government agents, dodging bullets and/or spells.
[6]
You fly directly up, narrowly missing a barrage of bullets and magic. You keep flying up, faster and faster, until you run into the underside of a plane.
Attempt to escape from van again.
[5]
The policemen get out of the van and chase after a living skeleton.
"I CAN TELEPORT!"
You manage to bluff the universe again, and you teleport into a crowd standing near an asylum. They are appropriately shocked that you stepped out of a rip of time and space.