Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

http://www.song-lyrics-generator.org.uk

And I am, a legendary fish cleaner
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, a legendary fish cleaner
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

You better smooth stone floor
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to slaughter some gobbos
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

So lets go back
Follow the a trail of dragon blood as we go on another episode
Journey with me as I take you through abandoned fortress
I once used to call home sweet home

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the Dark Temple now

And when I'm gone, just slaughter some gobbos, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my shiny beards
Just know that I'm looking down on you rolling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smooth stone floor

And when she's gone, just slaughter some gobbos, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of her long dongers
Just know that she's looking down on you trolling
And her didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smooth stone floor in your donkey leather thong.


EDIT: My friends were talking about Heimerdonger by Instalok on skype, I couldn't stop myself.

[Urist_McGamer]

I hammered Urist and I liked it

by Urist McCreative

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, war hammer in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what, I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

I hammered Urist and I liked it
The taste of his bearded beard
I hammered Urist just to try it
I hope my Duke don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean anything, right?
I hammered Urist and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter,
You're my experimental game
Just human nature,
It's not what,
Insane people do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I hammered Urist and I liked it
The smell of his short liver
I hammered Urist just to try it
I hope my Duke don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean anything, right?
I hammered Urist and I liked it
I liked it,

Those boys they are so magical
Bearded beard, short liver, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I hammered Urist and I liked it
The sound of his drunk skull
I hammered Urist just to try it
I hope my Duke don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean anything, right?
I hammered Urist and I liked it
I liked it

I liked the feel of his violent brain
I liked the feel of his violent brain.

This turned out better than I thought it would.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

Oh, and this also has book plot generator. I especially liked "Derpislava the vampire slayer" and the friendly Wereass with oaken lungs.

 The Bearded Stranger
    - a mystery
by Armok

The shiny, cold town of Thattilsodel holds a secret.

Derpislava Sodelakun has the perfect life working as a cook in the city and sparring with her armored boyfriend, Urist McMiner.

However, when she finds a long toy anvil in her cellar, she begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Sodelakun family.

A goblin christmass leaves Derpislava with some startling questions about her past, and she sets off to underground Thattilsodel to find some answers.

At first the people of Thattilsodel are berserkr and elfy. She is intruigued by the curiously bearded thresher, Sock McTrollFur. However, after he introduces her to hard adamantite beds, Derpislava slowly finds herself drawn into a web of nobles, tree-hugging and perhaps, even seed barrel posession.

Can Derpislava resist the charms of Sock McTrollFur and uncover the secret of the long toy anvil before it's too late, or will her demise become yet another Thattilsodel legend?

[Seagoon]

 The Tale of My Legandary Smith Wife
 - A Ballad
 by Urist 

 It began on a cold moonstone night:
 I was the most dwarven miner around,
 She was the most legendary smith.
 
 She was my wife,
 My legendary wife,
 My smith.
 
 We used to drink so well together,
 Back then.
 We wanted to dig together, around the world,
 We wanted it all.
 
 But one night, one cold night,
 We decided to dig too much.
 Together we struck Adamantine.
 It was deep, so deep.
 
 From that moment our relationship changed.
 She grew so fey.
 
 And then it happened:
 
 Oh no! Oh no!
 
 She cut in twain a forgotten beast.
 Alas, a forgotten beast!
 My wife cut in twain a forgotten beast.
 It was dwarven, so dwarven.
 
 The next day I thought my nose had broken,
 I thought my beard had burst into flames,
 (But I was actually overreacting a little.)
 
 But still, she is in my thoughts.
 I think about how it all changed that night,
 That cold moonstone night.
 
 My beard... ouch!
 When I think of that legendary smith,
 That legendary smith and me.

[Tolga]

The Tale of My Warlock Mage Enemy
    - A Ballad
by Dorf
It began on a legendary winter's night:
I was the most armless axedwarf around,
He was the most warlock mage.

He was my enemy,
My warlock enemy,
My mage.

We used to dodge so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to hack together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one night, one legendary night,
We decided to hack too much.
Together we slashed a goblin.
It was relentlessly, so relentlessly.

From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so stupid.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

He drunk a dwarf.
Alas, a dwarf!
My enemy drunk a dwarf.
It was fast, so fast.

The next day I thought my left arm had broken,
I thought my right arm had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, he is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that night,
That legendary winter's night.

My right arm... ouch!
When I think of that warlock mage,
That warlock mage and me.

[Stalker]

Urist McSoapmaker, are you listening to me?
I said, Urist McSoapmaker, what do you want to be?
I said, Urist McSoapmaker, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing:

Get out of this fortress.

[Nasikabatrachus]

The Tale of My Pestilent Bowgoblin Ambusher
    - A Ballad
by Stukos Rithushrir*
It began on a well-crafted Felsite night:
I was the most greedy miner around,
He was the most pestilent bowgoblin.

He was my ambusher,
My pestilent ambusher,
My bowgoblin.

We used to sail off in an arc so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to devour together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one night, one well-crafted night,
We decided to devour too much.
Together we kissed a night troll.
It was dwarfy, so dwarfy.

From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so artifact.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

He embraced a kobold.
Alas, a kobold!
My ambusher embraced a kobold.
It was masterful, so masterful.

The next day I thought my fifth toe right foot had broken,
I thought my fourth toe right foot had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, he is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that night,
That well-crafted Felsite night.

My fourth toe right foot... ouch!
When I think of that pestilent bowgoblin,
That pestilent bowgoblin and me.


*Note: This is slightly enhanced by the knowledge that Stukos Rithushrir is a vampire king.

[Kolnukbyne]

I saw that there was a Village People style and couldn't resist...

What Do You Want To Be Urist?
    - In the style of The Village People
by Kolnukbyne

Where can you find pleasure?
Search the world for treasure?
Where can you haul that schist?
Make your dreams all come true?
Where can you repel the goblin horde?

In the Fortress!
Yes, you can haul that schist!
In the Fortress!
Yes, you can repel the goblin horde!
In the Fortress!
Come on now Urist, make a stand.
In the Fortress!

Urist, haul that schist.
I said, Urist, repel the goblin horde.

It's fun to die in the Fortress.
It's fun to die in the Fortress.

They have a tower-cap wheelbarrow,
You can haul that schist.

It's fun to die in the Fortress.
It's fun to die in the Fortress.

They have a steel battleaxe,
You can repel the goblin horde.

Urist, are you listening to me?
I said, Urist, what do you want to be?
I said, Urist, you can make real your dreams.
But you got to know this one thing:

You're useless.

And...

It's fun to die in the Fortress.
It's fun to die in the Fortress.

[WaffleEggnog]

OMG THIS IS FUNNY AS HELL THIS TURNED OUT SO WELL OMG

If I was your strong fishery worker
    - In the style of Justin Bieber
by by Urist McSong

Oh
Yeah
FUCK

You know you love me, I know you care
Just kill whenever, and I'll be there
You are my axelord, you are my heart
And we will never ever ever be apart

If I was your fishery worker, I'd never let you die
Keep you on my arm, you'd never be alone
I can be your beard, anything you want
If I was your fishery worker, I'd never let you die, I'd never let you die

COMRADE, COMRADE, COMRADE FUCK
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like COMRADE, COMRADE, COMRADE FUCK
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

When I met you COMRADE my axe went though the skull, tearing the brain!
Now them dwarves in my helm won't stop stop
And even though it's a struggle love is all we got
So we gonna keep keep hauling to the mountain top

There's gonna be one more axe going though the skull, tearing the brain!
One more axe going though the skull, tearing the brain!
One more axe going though the skull, tearing the brain!

Your wool socks, my biggest weakness
Shouldn't have let you know
I'm always gonna do what they say (hey)
If you need me
I'll come slashing
From a thousand miles away
When you eat I eat (oh whoa)
You haul, I haul
Hey

Na na na, na na na, na na FUCK
Yeah axelord
Na na na, na na na, na na na FUCK
If I was your fishery worker
Na na na, na na na, na na na FUCK
Na na na, na na na, na na na FUCK
If I was your fishery worker

My friends say I'm a fool to think
That you're the one for me
I guess I'm just a strong fool for my COMRADE

SHIT


Edit; Also tried the book-plot generator and it turned out just as fabulous.
Death by Axe
    - a crime thriller
by Urist McBook


Mangled beards have been turning up all over butt-fuck Egypt and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a axe, and still nobody has a clue who the batshit insane killer is.

Urist McDetective is a bearded and badass axelord with a fondness for Armok, God of Blood. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the elfy killer.

When his mom, Urista McMom, is kidnapped, Urist Detective finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a masterful wool socks.

He enlists the help of a long bearded hauler called McSidekick.

Can McSidekick help McDetective overcome his killing elves addiction and find the answers before the un-bearded killer and his deadly axe strike again?

[Lielac]

 Bridge Over Elven Elves
    - In the style of Simon and Garfunkel
by Urist McMiner
When you're elven, feeling elven,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side.
When times get elven,
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over elven elves,
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over elven elves,
I will lay me down.

Ride a minecart on adamantine girl,
Ride a minecart on by.
Your time has come to mine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they mine.
If you need a friend
I'll mine right behind.
Like a bridge over elven elves,
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over elven elves,
I will ease your mind.

And here's to you, Ms McWife,
Cacame Aweminande loves you more than you will know.
Oh bless you, please Ms McWife.
Heaven holds a place for those who mine.
Hey, hey, hey.

Mine on dwarven Urist, mine on dwarven Urist.
What're we gonna tell our friends when they say ooh la la?
Mine on dwarven Urist, mine on dwarven Urist!

[MrWillsauce]

The Tale of My Hunchbacked Hauler Paramour
    - A Ballad
by Obok Songincest

It began on an abhorrent Moonstone midnight:
I was the most drunken queen around,
He was the most hunchbacked hauler.

He was my paramour,
My hunchbacked paramour,
My hauler.

We used to dump so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to hump together, around the world,
We wanted it all.

But one midnight, one abhorrent midnight,
We decided to hump too much.
Together we trampled the king.
It was juicy, so juicy.

From that moment our relationship changed.
He grew so beautiful.

And then it happened:

Oh no! Oh no!

He shat in a garbage chute.
Alas, a garbage chute!
My paramour shat in a garbage chute.
It was lusty, so lusty.

The next day I thought my left lower back teeth had broken,
I thought my floating ribs had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)

But still, he is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that midnight,
That abhorrent Moonstone midnight.

My floating ribs... ouch!
When I think of that hunchbacked hauler,
That hunchbacked hauler and me.

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

He shat in a garbage chute.
Alas, a garbage chute!
My paramour shat in a garbage chute.
(...)
I thought my floating ribs had burst into flames,

Magma mist is dwarven Karma.

[crazysheep]

Spoiler: The Crushed Toes Hip Hop - In the style of Eminem (click to show/hide)

May I have your attention please?
I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
To fight till death (to fight till death)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my nose (come take my nose)
We'll walk through Murderreleased together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm

Her shoulders are bloody, toes crushed, fingers are torn
There's food on her greaves already, mother's syrup roast
She's nervous, but on the surface she looks calm and ready to fight till death,
But she keeps on forgetting what she wrote down,

And I am, a brave warrior
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
'Cause I am, a brave warrior
If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know it's just the way I am

You better cradle baby
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to fight till death
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
You better cradle baby
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to fight till death
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

So lets go back
Follow the the blood trails as we go on another episode
Journey with me as I take you through Murderreleased
I once used to call home sweet home

Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the tower now

And when I'm gone, just fight till death, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my bloody shoulders
Just know that I'm looking down on you sparring
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just cradle baby

And when she's gone, just fight till death, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of her crushed toes
Just know that she's looking down on you stabbing
And her didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just cradle baby in your greaves.

Um.
Damn.

[Jiharo]

Done manually but on the similar principle.

Spoiler: Dwarven nursery rhyme (click to show/hide)

Ten little dwarves were sent out to mine,
The ceiling fell on leader and then there were nine.

Nine little dwarves were sad for their mate,
One got sad a bit too much and then there were eight.

Eight little dwarves begged Armok in his heaven,
They sacrificed one and then there were seven.

Seven little dwarves swung their copper picks,
One picked the floor below him and then there were six.

Six little dwarves appeared to thrive
But with wealth came the goblins and then there were five.

Five little dwarves decided "No more!"
As they blocked the entrance and locked the door.
The goblins were furious down to the core
So they slayed the mason and then there were four.

Four little dwarves thought the caverns were free,
Ancient beast disagreed and then there were three.

Three little dwarves were covered with weird goo
One was averse to bathing and then there were two.

Two little dwarves left were father and son
They played a mock battle for practice and fun.
Old dwarf's punch was a bit overdone,
His fist touched the kid's brain and then there was one.

One little dwarf was left all alone
Trapped amid millions of tonnes of stone.
He said to himself "That'll be wonderful twist
If I should survive. So I swear on this schist
To live till the migrants come back to these walls,
To hear the songs roughly song in the halls
About glory of dwarves that will always grow greater!"
So he said. But, alas, about five minutes later
While dodging a crundle, he stumbled,
Fell to his death and the fortress has crumbled.

[Midas]

Fighting the Elven with Spears
     - in the style of The Cranberries
 by Midas

In Mountainhome,
 In Mountainhome, we are fighting,
 With swords, and spears,
 And axes, and hammers.
 In Mountainhome,
 In Mountainhome we are cryin',
 In Mountainhome,
 Armok and me.
 We're in Mountainhome, in Mountainhome,
 Armok and me.

 But I'm in so deep,
 I'm such a fool for Armok,
 Armok's got me wrapped around a finger.
 Do I have to fight?
 Do I have to, do I have to fight?
 Oh, I thought the world of gold.
 I thought nothing could go wrong.
 But they were a fool, but they were an elven.

 In Mountainhome, in Mountainhome,
 Armok and me.
 We're's in Mountainhome, in Mountainhome,
 Armok and me.