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[DoctorMcTaalik]

ARTIFACT:Strict Actor
Major Origin: Created By a non-intelligent process(CNI)
Secondary Origin: Sample which displays properties which clash or subvert understood reality.(SSB)
Type: None
Danger Rating: Unpredictable Risks:Major (Uj)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Clinging (24), ,
Shape: Novelty Sombrero

Of all the reasons to be sad about ER ending, I think this artifact may be the most compelling.

[piecewise]

ARTIFACT:Strict Actor
Major Origin: Created By a non-intelligent process(CNI)
Secondary Origin: Sample which displays properties which clash or subvert understood reality.(SSB)
Type: None
Danger Rating: Unpredictable Risks:Major (Uj)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Clinging (24), ,
Shape: Novelty Sombrero

Of all the reasons to be sad about ER ending, I think this artifact may be the most compelling.

*Mexican hat dance plays in the distance*

[spazyak]

The mexican hat that destroys physics. Frickin spess mexicans, need to build a spess wall to protect errr jerbs from dem spess sombreros.
_{Meant this as a joke, not sure how good of one}

[Xantalos]

ARTIFACT:Clever Apricot
Major Origin: Intentionally Created by Humans (ICH)
Secondary Origin: Obsolete or Divergent form of current objects or technology(OT)
Type: Energy Generation or storage (EG)
Danger Rating: Predictable Risks:Moderate (Po)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Radiation (25), Sudden Reality Failure (20),
Shape: replica keyblade

Well damn then. That's quite something.

Nevermind found evil toilet paper

ARTIFACT:Sullen Eye
Major Origin: Unintentional Created by Humans(UCH)
Secondary Origin: Accidental discovery or invention using unknown processes or effects(ADU)
Type: Effect or Process (EP)
Danger Rating: Unpredictable Risks:Major (Uj)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Hostile Sentience or intent (, ,
Shape: Toilet paper

also reality-destroying bills

ARTIFACT:Murky Turquoise
Major Origin: Is an alien creature or seemingly organic specimen of non-earth origin. (LAC)
Secondary Origin: Living independent specimen (LIS)
Type: None
Danger Rating: Inherently Benign (Ib)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Reality Distortion (30), , Sudden Reality Failure (20)
Shape:  unpaid bills

[piecewise]

~50%

Anyone wanna be my proofreader when I'm done? Probably Sy, since he always is.

[Xantalos]

I could give it a shot if Sy doesn't end up taking it.

[Pancaek]

I'd volunteer, but since I'm not a native english speaker I doubt I'd be very useful.

[spazyak]

~50%

Anyone wanna be my proofreader when I'm done? Probably Sy, since he always is.

sure, mainly since I am anxious to hurry up and read it

[NJW2000]

"I'm pedantic! I'm pedantic!"

NJW hops up and down.


If you need anyone else that is.

[Egan_BW]

ARTIFACT:Intolerant Basket
Major Origin: Is an alien creature or seemingly organic specimen of non-earth origin. (LAC)
Secondary Origin: Living independent specimen (LIS)
Type: None
Danger Rating: Predictable Risks:Moderate (Po)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Fusion (9), , Hallucinations (15)
Shape: SD card reader

Could be an interesting alien creature, especially with Fusion. That threat existing certainly explains the amalgam pills.

ARTIFACT:Rebellious Cream
Major Origin: Created by an alien Species(CAS)
Secondary Origin: Creation or product of unknown alien lifeforms(CUL)
Type: Healthcare (HE)
Danger Rating: Unpredictable Risks:Moderate (Um)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Damage to Machinery (21), ,
Shape: A can of beer

Mildly alcoholic healing potion, but it corrodes your implants.

ARTIFACT:Comely Locket
Major Origin: Created By a non-intelligent process(CNI)
Secondary Origin: Sample of material which displays unique or anomalous properties properties(UM)
Type: None
Danger Rating: Unpredictable Risks:Minor (Ui)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Possession (17), Reality Distortion (30), Existential Threat (11)
Shape: Assless chaps

Inspiration
...Glory Of The Sun...

...The Remains of the Day...

...Unveiled...

Got inspiration for this, but I'm still unsure how assless chaps fits with being a sample of material. Hmm. Maybe it's just an oddly shaped hunk of realityfuckium?

ARTIFACT:Unstable Cerulean
Major Origin: Unintentional Created by Humans(UCH)
Secondary Origin: Byproduct of a process or object/organism utilized or created by humans.(BCH)
Type: Waste product (WP)
Danger Rating: Unpredictable Risks:Minor (Ui)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Hostile Sentience or intent (8), ,
Shape: A flash drive

Literally the weirdest literal shit that a human ever made. If you smear it on your computer it makes angry faces at you. >:(

ARTIFACT:Beautiful Scarecrow
Major Origin: Intentionally Created by Humans (ICH)
Secondary Origin: Obsolete or Divergent form of current objects or technology(OT)
Type: Storage (ST)
Danger Rating: Predictable Risks:Major (Pa)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Thought or personality alteration (19), , High Destructive Capacity (10)
Shape: a little over 80,000 comic books

Some really old comics from Earth 1. Turns you into a violently berserk superhero when you read for too long. All that violence really does rot your brain!

ARTIFACT:Limpid Riddle
Major Origin: Unknown origin
Secondary Origin: Bodily fluids (BF)
Type: None
Danger Rating: Neutralized (Ne)
Specific Threats (if Applicable): Fusion (9), ,
Shape: an aged Japanese hanging-scroll-print depicting wooded mountains (Kamakura with Impressionist tendencies)

Painting on a scroll made from human bodily fluids. When you touch it, you get trapped inside the image. Thankfully SCP coated it in plastic so you don't have to worry about that.

[Tiruin]

[...]
If you're not on that list and you posted an action, then forward it to me via pm.

Oops, I think this is posting an action?
Yaaay...late for PM.

[spazyak]

The moon lights up the night with light reflected from the sun. assless chaps let you moon all behind you.

[syvarris]

Anyone wanna be my proofreader when I'm done? Probably Sy, since he always is.

I'm always fine with that job, but you can probably get a faster response by asking someone else.  Both because I tend to be slow, and because I've been unusually busy lately.

[Sean Mirrsen]

[...]
If you're not on that list and you posted an action, then forward it to me via pm.

Oops, I think this is posting an action?
Yaaay...late for PM.

Mine was missed too, I'm assuming because neither of us actually bolded the posts.

[piecewise]

I got you sean and Ti.