Transform into Demonhead Mobster Kingpin to combat GM and the Bowen Stillson Dogg.
[6] You are now DMK! Your
CHASTITY LOCKS are on and shit! Here's a picture of you!
"So we... we're friends again? Oh Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
Yayfriends!
Well, yes, yay. I'm not even going to roll for that. Oh wait, I already did and nothing really happened. [4] What now?
get a surgery kit and grab Derm "this will hurt alot but the results will be worth it." Use !!MEDICENE!! on him
[6] Due to your meddling, Derm is now perpetually on fire! He's now
ELI LITERALLY BURNING! That is hilarious and terrifying! What are you going to do now?
Proceed to give GM much attention and love and being there and they need it.
[6] How do you keep rolling sixes? This is getting embarrassing. So, we're basically the most romantic thing this side of I don't know what, my experience of romantic things is not what you'd call generic. The
LOVE FRIENDSHIP POWER METER skyrockets! (+3 LFP)
((Damn that pussy ass white scar...))
SUMMON A METER GAUGING THE INEPTITUDE OF FELLOW PLAYERS TO SLAY GM
Also, Pimpslap BOWEN STILLSON DOGG with my magical ancient Egyptian Pimp cane!
[2] Dude, if I decided to implement a meter for gauging your ineptitude, it'd look something like this:
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Like a fucking NASCAR rally track. So don't.
[5] The BOWEN STILSON DOGG is successfully bitchslapped and shattered into teeny weeny pieces! Hurrah to you and your PIMP CANE, sir! I'll even take a few bars out of that NONEXISTENT INEPTITUDE METER for you! Here.
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((For some reason I read the title as "Edward Snowden's dog and the GM..."
I need to lay off the internet for a while.))
Send forth my trolls to report the GM to the NSA for contacting Edward Snowden and his dog.
[3]Edward Snowden has no
DOGG! The NSA doesn't believe your lying face! Ha! Ha! Call back later, midget!
GLUE EDWARD SNOWDEN'S DOG TO GM'S HEAD
[5] Turns out I lied to DAF before, Edward Snowden does have a
DOGG.Avis acquires the SNOWDEN DOGG HAT! It is eldritch and dishevelled! (+1 ELD +1 DIS)AVIS HAS SUFFERED A DISHEVELLATION BREAK! Avis is now a HOBO CTHULHU MAGICAL GIRL! YOU BET YOUR ASS THERE'S NO ANIME ABOUT SHIT LIKE THIS! Respawn. Create a reality-warping programming language.
[6] F̴̢̟̼̱̥̫̰̊ͧ̉ͩ̃ͦͦ̇̊̓̋ͥ͒ǫ̷̩̝̬͔̳͇̤̲̙̪̤̝̈́̀̄́ͨ͌̏̈́o̎ͧ͆̐͘̕͟҉̡͇͖̜̣͎͓̤̳̬̙̟ͅͅl̗͚͖̮̫̮͙̝͑̆͌̾̾͛ͧ̽͛̀̋̃͐ͭ͒͠,̧͈̺͈̫͔͍̭̀ͨ̋ͪ͊̆̉͗ͣ̑̃̈̂ͤ͋̉́ ̊̎̐̔ͨ̇́ͥ͐̐͗͒̾͋̚҉̵̵̣̲̟̹͇̖͉̜̥̹̹̼̰̱̯̕ͅw͙͕̻̘͙̹̯͈͓̝̣̮̌͗̓ͥ̿̐ͩ̾̔ͩͨͣ̈́ͮ̐ͨͧ̋͡͡hͦ̓̒̒ͥ͂̓͆́ͯ͊҉͏̯̙͇̺å̟̞̣̤͗ͣͮ́́͟͝t̶̠̮̤͎̥͔̻͈̂̑̉ͤͮ͘͘͢ ̫͔̮̺͉͎̺̩͍̲ͧ͌̄̌̚͠͠h̢̢̦̟͍̭̣̜̽ͣ͆ͨ͌̐ͯͫ̄̃̾̓ͮ̊ă̧̢̋̏͋̔͐ͥ̊́̓̎̾͊ͩ̈́̉̅͡͏̝̰̣̦͙̰̘̹̦̱ͅv̵̢̡̡̡̫͚͔̝͓̖̥̹̪̞̱̤̜̝̉̾̃̏͌͋̏ͨ́̒̃ͩ̈́ͩͫ̎ȅ̶̢̲̫̼̥̯̘̱͇̂̓̈́̏ͩͭͪ̽̌͐̉͛̋ͫ̃͑͢ ̡̧̛͉̲̖̟ͣ̽̒̌͋ͪ̒̈̏ͯͧ̚ͅy̜̗̖̻͚͎̬͔̩̱̹͕̖̯̬̗̮̽ͩ̔̔̓̋̋̓ͭͮ̃̒͛̊͢͞ǫ̷ͧ̃̉̈́̎͐̒̍̌ͨͤ̈́̚͘͏̫̪̠̻̻ṳ̧͔͉̣̯̣̝̻̳̟̻̭̗͑̌͗̌̆̀ ̵̮̪̪̣̜̮̼͈̤̰͍̟͆ͫͮ͆̌ͯ͊ͮ̋̎ͤͬ͆́̽̅͂̆́̚d̵̤̟͓̙̱͍̅̃̌̿̀̍͆̈̒̒̈́ͨ͌̈́ͥ̕͟͢ǫ̢̧̥͎̬̼̠͇̞̒̂ͣ̔ͭ͌̆̉́̀̀̚nͬ̽̀̍̓̅̍̾̇͑̀̚͏̴̪̪͚͈͍̱̪̥̯̠̭͚̳̺͍ͅͅe̢̡͍̫̳̠̩͓͎̙̪̫͚͚͇̖̲͖̎ͤ̏́̅̎ͫ̌͑͋̅͊̇ͪͧ̒̀̀̚.̖̩͕̘̱͚͔̦̭̺̘͉͙̪̝̼̲͍̉̇͊̔̅̐ͦ̆͌ͤͦ̔͛ͫͭ͂͋́́̕.̗̦̫̙̠̙̤̹̥͔̼̼̘͕̥̐̈́̑̄ͦ͐ͪ̀́̕͡ͅ!̵̪̘̩̰͔̭̘̤̮̮͑͑ͤͥ̂͐͊̐͑̒ͭ͂̋͑̋̕͝ (+3 ELD)
Deploy Tactical Narwhal.
[3] T̶̸̢̢̡̳̗̹͇͚͈̘̭̲͚̻̩ͦͩͬ̔͊ͥ̑̑͐h̑̈́͊ͦͫ̆̓̿ͪ͗̆̾ͥ̓̉͠͏̵͚͇̻̘̘̩̻̻̫͙̘̖͖̀͢ͅĕ̱̮̪̺͕̗̠̻͓̯̱̘̂ͯͮͧ́ͩ̚͢͞͡ ̛̫͓̥͉̱̰͙̳͍̤͓̻̥̘ͣͦͣ̋̇ͭ̊̍͊ͨ́͘͜ͅͅŅ̜͈͉̙̱̪̝̀̋̐ͩͫ͂̐ͦ̑̎̃͆̌̏̚͘͜͢͢Aͧ̈́̉̌̒҉̷͏͍͙͇̻̦̭̫͍̭͎̳̝͕̳͖̩̗ͅR̴ͮ̐͊ͨ͌̏ͥ̐ͤͪ̌͟͞͏͏̱̻͇W̷̶̯̠̰͌ͤ̈̌͘̕H̶̵̷̠̭̻͖͔̥͑̀́͗́ͅÂ̰͓̩̞͍͙̩̙̗̏ͯͩ̎̐̓͌͑̕͜͡ͅL̛ͮͭ͑ͩ͗͂̇̿̋̒ͩ̀͟͡͏̺̘̥̜̳̝̜ ͆̾͌̈͐ͫͬͤ҉̭̹̗̫̭̘̼̞͖͎̲͎͞ͅi̵͚̤͉͖͔̙̬̩͇̜̩̜̫̘̥̣͓̟̿ͬ̉ͮ͌͐ͯ͌ͪ̐͐̑̐̕͟͟͠s͍̺͕̜͖̮͕͍ͥ͆ͬ͗̓̽̔̒͂ͦͦͫ̀̀͘ ̷̯̫̻̤̘̬͕̱͕̥̰̥͔̙͚ͬͫ̓̈́̽̊ͧ̄̊̃ͭ͞ͅs̴̽̀̎̄ͭ̃ͩ̌͢҉̨͎̜̪͙̬̟t̸̨̘̟͇̙̞̝̣̜͕̞̘͎̤̯̎͐͛͡͡u̶̼̩͎̜͚͚͉̤̝̣͓̜͉͉̼ͧͤͪ́̽c̎͋̌ͬͩ̃ͬͫͪ͆҉͈̳͕̼̫̻̣͈̺̱k̵͛̍ͨ̃ͫͪ͊ͭ̉͑ͩ̾ͣ̎͢҉̥̙͔͓̻̪̠̭̫ͅ ̧ͩ̓̒͗͆ͫ͒͌͑͌ͭ͗̌ͩͨ̚̚͏̧̨͈̠͈̪̯̺̗̰͖̖̥͜ͅį̱̗̖͎͉̥̱̫͚̝̝͇͎̺͇̩͇̎̆̆̋́̍̎̍͜ņ̴͙͔͙̜͉̗́ͫ̋́͘͟͝ ̴͇̗̮̩͎̫̦͇̠̘̬̘̻̙̣͈̱̰̄́̇́̚͟ͅt̵͖̘̤̬̲͕̠͔̝͕͙͖͕̹͉͋͑̃ͨ̃͆̾͆̎ͧ̊ͣ̈́̂̀̚h̡̨̺̹̭̉̎͂̐͆͠͠ͅe̵̙̲͕̩̫͔̬̮͇͒͗ͮ̐ͫ͊̾̾̓͐͊̋̓́̓̎͐̚͠ ̡̛̜͍̖̗̲̣͔̪̜̹̖̭̹͖̩̦̀̋͐̓̉̓ͦ̒̽͑͌͑͒̓̐͌̀͘͟N̄̄ͥ͐̒̅ͧ̀̓̏ͬ̀̚҉͉̙̣̙̮̦̖A͎͇̫̹̗̠̿̀̈̐̏̋ͧͧ͛͒͒͗ͧͧͥ̌̎͢͞͝R̳̫͚̙̻̤̞̼͚ͨ̒ͣ̊͑ͫ̋̆̑̏̈́ͩ͘͟ͅW̥̝̗̝̱͓̝̭̲̗͖͔̟̯̄͒̆̽͠ͅH̛̭̰̭̤̟̦̩͇͍ͣ̑̏͑͆̉̏̀ͬͮ͑̓̀̅͘ͅA̶̤̭̼̣̻͎̺̜͖̝̖̋͋̐̈̆̾̇͌͛ͣ̈́͐̈́̀̀͜Lͨ́̆̓̒̚҉̵̷̧͏͓͓̱͔̝̺̞̖̳̲̣̯̯ ̨̩͎̘̯̙̲̥̞̽͗́̎̊ͤͩͭ̃̋̔͛͊ͨ͐̌̑͜Lͫ̅ͦ̄̃̈́͂̓͌̏ͭ̄͂̏̐͋ͣ͏̵͝͏̬̦͓̭̰̻̝͎̗̲͓̲̪̮ͅA̡̼̖̲͚̩̮͙̙̞̱ͧͬ̃̒̕͞͠U͒͊͛́ͮ͂͛ͬ͢҉̡̦̩̰̠̻͇̗̩̪̘͎̫͙̫N̡̨͙̗͇͒̽͑ͩ̍͘͝C̶̭͔̙̩̪͈̩̜̖̹̟̿̓͐̎̈́ͥ͡͞ͅH͌ͪ͆ͯ̒̑̄͌ͫͣ͐ͦ͏̧̝͖͍͇͍͈͜͞E̢̲̞͔͉̖̻̥̣̓̊̄̊͐̆͋͂̒̆̏̓͗̕͞R̫̳͎͙̩͇̩̞̬͔̳̃̃̃̽̇ͦ̌̂͆̏̃ͨͯ̄ͦ̍̌͜͝ͅ!̶͈̭͍͉̦̳̻̰̟̬̮̰̩͇̻͓͚̠̬ͥͧ̾̈͊̐̑͆ͣ͒̉͢ ̵̧̣̳̭̰͔͇̃͐ͣͫ͌͜ ̧ͣͦ̎̿ͣ̋̄͒ͬ̓̾ͧͮͫͣͧ͆̆҉̧̢͙̘̱͕̜͚̫̳
GM TURN: A̬̦͖͎̹͉͔̘̭ͤ̒́ͪ̉ͮ͒ͧ̒ͭ̓̽̀͜͝ͅv̓͋ͣ̑ͬ͒̋́͂̇̉͑̒ͩͯ̓͂̔ͭ̀͜͞͏͇̩͓̻̝͕̖̼͈̤̼̘̕i̶̹̮͓̩̼̹͇͍̰̫̠̜̦̟͙͍ͭͣͬͯͥͯ̋̂̀͂ͧ̋ͪ̎̊͗͋͝s͔͈̪͓̹͎̮͓̲̠̣͖̲̙̞͙ͦ̓ͯ̈ͬͬ͗̾̓̓ͥ̎͐͟͞ ̨̺̬͕̭͈̐̂̆͗͠g̷̖̮͓̩̪̮̣̙̱͔̝̏̀ͬ̒̌͑̂̊ͮ͛ͩ͛̾̒̋ͯ͘̕͟͞ĩ̉̋̽̈͝͏̨̻͍̙̭̝̥͇̞̲̠̗̗͔͓b̲̤̫͚͚͆́̀̌̅̋ͯ̐̾͊͛͗̚͘̕͡͞b̸̙͙̲̳ͧͫ̔̏̎̔ͪ̓ͮ̄̍ͩͣͣ̂͋̀͢͡͝ę̘̮̺̭̖̱͍̽̈́ͦ̿̄̑ͩͪ͌͊̃͋̔ͤ͂ͮ̆ͨ̚̕͞͠r̡̧̛̛̤͈̳̣͕̬͔̩̯͚̙̲̖̪̖͍ͦ̎ͬ͂ͩ͑͑̍̅̉ͧ́ͪs̀̈͆́́͏͉̦͔̥̥̰͎̪̬͙̘ ̡͚̳͓̙̥͙̮͍̼͍͛̌̈́ͣ̊ͣ̏͑͌͢͟l͈̩̞̩͙͉͎̆̈͒̎̉̂̍̽͊̉̚͘͘͟iͩ̐͌̃ͫ̈́̍͊̉̒́̓͗̓ͩͭ̃̑̚͜͏̛̪̩̺͔̟̜͟k̳͎̥̤̲̰͇͙̻ͮ͗ͮ͒ͫ͝͡ͅe̢̛̘̣̗͎͇̬͙̙̣͆̀̂̈́ͥ͗̃͗̈́̚͞͞ ̸̸̤̭̣̑̿͗̓ͯ̀́̀͌ͯ̾̀ͅa͚̟̗͚̝̞̯̟͇̠̿̽̔ͫ͑̋͋̄̇̋ͭ̌ͫͫ͒̀̚̕̕͘͝ͅͅ ̶̲̭̪̪̲̩̘̳͔͆̿̔ͭ́̒̎͗ͮ̂́ͬ̾̒ͦͭ̂͘͜͡ͅm̲͍̣̣̓̂ͭ̈́͜͝ḁ̧̺̞̞̥̻̤̬̬̓̍̍ͤ͊̄̔ͤ̉̓͑ͧͥ̔͑͘͞n̸̸̞̪̣̾ͭ͑̈ͮ͗͋̅̈́ͭͤ̀ĩ́̍̽ͧͩ̏͑͒̋̃̄̎̀̓̀҉̜͖̫̘̱̫͍̗̱͜͢͠͝ḁ̷̡̦͍͉̗ͩͬ̆̋ͣ̀͘͘c̷̭͍̳̹͉̞̣̹͎͆̅͑͑̑́͡͠ͅͅ!̷̷̢̤͚̫ͦ̓̈́̂͐̃̑͐͆̽̕ͅͅͅ ̸̨̛͙̩̤̼̳̹̠͗̎̈́͒ͫͪ̃̀͑ͨͪ͋̾̀ͅ[̟̙͓̖̹̘̮̌̓͌̓̅̄ͥ̏͂͛̚̚͘5̵̛̭͍̝͎̠̮̠͔͙̦̤̣͔̗̖͇͂̓̆ͤͫ̍̀̔ͤͨͨ̈ͫ̾̉͑]̸̖͙̼͍̲̞͙̤̜̣̱̭̟̳͙̦̣̱̺ͩ̽̃̓́̾̅͒̀̕ ̳͈̳̘͎͚̪̖̹͎̻̣̘͈̝̿́̈ͣͧ̀͜͞ͅI̎ͬ́̔̽̒͂ͧ̋͒̆҉̧̥̺̖̬͈͔͔͝ͅt͈͎̭̮̪̭̣̱̲̳͙̱̳̫ͤ̇̐ͩ̕͡ͅͅ ̴͔̪̙̪̱̟̜̣̜͓̲̠͕̣̭͕̹͐̈̅̒̽ͣ͗͗̊̒ͦ̎̏̈́̾̈̄́w̵̻̗̝̣̩̹̥̒͑͒͐ͮ̐͊̂͆͛͟͜͞o̡̲̮͔͉͕͔̰̦̺̣̤̍̅̈͗̾ͪͭ͐ͮ͂ͦ̿̔ͪ̈̀͟r̵̴̪͎̖̹͚̅̉̑͒̊͛̎̾̈́͑̂͛ͯ̍͘k̵̶̑̓̂̄̔̓̌̀ͩ́͏͓̻̰̟͍̪şͬ̒̔̏̇͞҉̯̠͉̪̼̰̬̮̬̤͍͖̻͠!̴̡̧͓̲͔̝̣̬̗̾͂͆ͦ͋͋̾̊͜͡ ̢̘̺͚̣̫̹̱̻͖͉̤̄̄̅͆̄̄̏̏ͯ̍ͨ̓̎̑̔͛ͧ̐͑̀W̧̏ͩ̅́ͤͯ̍̄̐ͩ̚͝͏҉̫̤̪̻̬̫̲̣̩̳̩͇̘̣͔h̴̞̺̳͇̞͉͉̯̣̘̣ͩ̈͒ͨ̉̈́̈́ͭͩ̈̆̈́ͩͦͩ̓̚ͅặ̢͚̠͓̠͍̜͕͈̹̯̰̆̅ͫ̓̌̋ͯͦ͆͗̉̅̾͑͊͢t̴̡̰͍͕̰̭͇̲̺͍̗͍̔̀͛̀ͪͤ͂ͫ́ͪͥ̔ͤ̑́͜͝ ̷̧͍͉͈̺̙̠̩̦͍͎͈̤̩̗͖̍ͨͤ͐̈́ͬͥ͌̽̈́̅̏̊́d̡͆̍̌̐̓ͬͪ͑̀̏̄ͭ͆ͦ͒ͧ̎ͥ̅͏̬͇̗̣̺͎̙̗͢ͅi̶̸̢̺̻̜̖͔̜̳͕̫̝̻̪̮̼̩̱ͩ̋̆̍́̂͑̌̾̐̍̈́ͪͤͩ̆͟͡ḑ̠̹̖̯̦̙͔̤̱̲̤͙̥̙͚̞͋̽ͭ̎̚͟͡͠͝ͅ ̸̬͎̰͚̠͎̳͎̟̩̠̱̈́̅ͪ͐̀͘ÿ̈́͛̒̿ͪ̋ͧ̈͑͒͏̲̱͔̦̲̣̤̖̟̝͔̮̜̠̣͕̭̀o̲͔̭̯̤ͩ̆ͩͣ͗̔͐͒̒ͧ̈̾́͡͞ū̋ͫ͆̎͒͆ͨ͂͛̃҉̧̼̖͎̱̼͎͓̦̭̥̲͡ ̴̺̲̗͍̱͍͎̺͚͙̤̍̍̌̊ͩ̓̓̒ẹ̵͙̝͙̹̰͚̞̈̑̎͑̂͊͊͑ͪ̿̏̿̓ͯ̿͗̀͢x̡̼̺̤̝̝̜̮̖̪̬̠̣̘̮͔͛͋̒̈̑̉̀̄̃ͮͧ̈́̂̓̓̓̆̀͟͜͞p̷̴̺̳͈̮̤̱̜͔͔ͩͥ̈́́͑̏͐̄̌̐͌̊ͅě͋̿̄̂͊͋͐̒̅́ͥ̑̾́̃͛̚͘͞҉̫̩̬͉͎̟̱̩̹̠c̡̧̫̬̣̬̘͇̤̳̫̥̥̙̖̹͔̭̥ͣ̉̈̓͊͆̏̓͆ͯ̚͡͠t̷̩̣̣̮̄̾̎̐̐̏ͣ́̓̂̕͜ ͯ̎́̈ͥ̂̈͏̶̴̢̤̦̝͈͘i̵̧̥̼̣̰̩̭̙̗̹͙͕͎͎̿̈́̒ͭͤ̑̅͂̾ͦ̓̈̆̚t̵̢͒̑̅̊͜҉͚͖̲̘͓͚̫̤̹̪̞̦̪̪̠̟̘̣ ̧̞̬̬̝̦̬̖͚͔̦̗ͮ̓̐ͧ͐ͨͩ̍͘̕͜t̵͂͋̄̚҉̸͔̝͈̟͔͡ͅơ̶̡̦̱͔͖̭̖͖͙̟̼͓͕͚̣̝̹̺ͧ̔͋͌́͒̐ͯͪ̋ͮͩ̆̓̕͢ ̛̯͕̹̖̲̮̹̘͉̯̟̻̭͈̅ͪ̽ͮͣ̋̀͋̓̌ͨͫ̃̓d̶̛̫̼̮̻̣͚̳̰͗̾̓ͯ͋̓ͩ͂̒͂̂̉̊̇͢ǫ̷̣̗̞̣͉͍̫̲̖̝̺͍̰̙͈̏̉̓͌͜?̢̥̘̘̜̭͖͖̜͈͙̬̘̖́̓̊͐́ͩͧ̈́͊ͭͦ͌͛͋͊̊ͮ͌̑͞
KHAN TURN:
JAGHATAI KHAN IS TOO AWESOME TO BE AFFECTED BY THIS REALITY-WARPING BULLSHIT! HE KICKED THE WARP'S ASS! [6] WITH THE POWER OF HIS
STACHE, THE PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE IS WIPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, ALONG WITH ITS PUNY CREATOR! HE EXPENDS TWO
STACHE POINTS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS.
OVERDRIVE METER: |=________|
ALCOHOL METER: |=________|
ELDRITCHITUDE METER: |======___|
LOVE FRIENDSHIP POWER METER: |=====____|
PLOT GAUGE:|==_______|
Lenglon: HOLINESS |======______|
Dorsidwarf: UNDEFINED |=========|
Derm: INVISIBLE HELICAT SQUAD: |=========|
JAGHATAI KHAN: STACHE METER:|==========__|
DarkArtemisFowl TROLL SLOT: [PISS-WEAK TROLLS]
Author
Topic: Roll to be friends with the GM - Well, I did say "within this year"... (Read 48876 times)