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[Avis-Mergulus]

Well. This appears to be a minimalist RTD. I have previously sworn that I will NEVER run a minimalist RTD, so that means my oath is broken! To restore my honor, I must vanquish any Bay12'er who ventures into this thread! Have at thee, villains!

GM TURN:
Avis deploys his PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT meter!

Spoiler: PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT METER! (click to show/hide)

|=========|

[DarkArtemisFowl]

Deploy forum spambots to annoy and dishevel the GM.

[WhitiusOpus]

Create metal rod, name it the "GMstick". Beat GM with the GM stick whenever he defies me.

[Dermonster]

Unleash the Dermpocalypse and derail the plot by three or above Hendersons.

[Yoink]

>Post shock images in an attempt to get the thread locked, or at least 504 the forums for a while.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Unleash the Dermpocalypse and derail the plot by three or above Hendersons.

Perform a true Henderson by protecting the GM no matter how many times he attempts to kill me.

[Dermonster]

That's a negative henderson.

[darkpaladin109]

Create gun. Call gun "GM reward". The GM is "rewarded with a shot from my gun every time I feel like it.

[TopHat]

Hug GM

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

That's a negative henderson.
[/quote

Actually not.  The 'plot' of this is trying to destroy the GM, therefore protecting the GM is derailing the plot.

[Avis-Mergulus]

YISSSS! Five seven replies! I can't wait to destroy you, you pathetic bunch of alcoholic midgets!

Deploy forum spambots to annoy and dishevel the GM.

[4] I am annoyed! And disheveled! But I was annoyed before, so disheveled is the only thing that is added! The disheveler drones expire! Sucks to be you! Roll a five next time!
Avis grows a DISHEVELATION meter!

Create metal rod, name it the "GMstick". Beat GM with the GM stick whenever he defies me.

[3] You create an aluminum spork, and name it the GMspork. You try to beat me with it constantly, but your attacks are repelled by my PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT meter. Midget. (-1 PSB)

Unleash the Dermpocalypse and derail the plot by three or above Hendersons.

[6] You become Old Man Henderson himself! According to a little-known correlation law, I am now Cthulhu! Oh-ho-ho! Frisky flagella time!
Avis sprouts an ELDRITCHITUDE meter!

>Post shock images in an attempt to get the thread locked, or at least 504 the forums for a while.

[4]You post Goatse! It is abominable! I get an admin warning, but luckily, it is dispelled by my Fermion Unification Coherence Klein-bottle before it can pierce my artistic sensitivity! The PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT meter goes down. (-2 PSB)

Unleash the Dermpocalypse and derail the plot by three or above Hendersons.

Perform a true Henderson by protecting the GM no matter how many times he attempts to kill me.

[6] There's no plot, you silly old fool! Except there is now, because of your meddling. On the other hand, your efforts to protect me have made you look knightly. You gain a KNIGHTLINESS point to do with as you will!
A wild PLOT GAUGE appears!

Create gun. Call gun "GM reward". The GM is "rewarded with a shot from my gun every time I feel like it.

[4] You create a musket! It is muzzle-loaded, just like yo momma! A well-known fact: musket bullets cannot pierce my Super-Hadronated Irwing Template! (-1 PSB)

Hug GM

[4] W-what? Why'd you... Imean, sh've off, dummy. It's not like I like you or anything! St-stop hugging me, dangit!
Avis is burdened with a DERE-DERE meter!

GM TURN:
Avis attempts to molest Derm with his FRISKY FLAGELLA! [1] Fuuuuuuuuuuu... They are shotgunned, doused with gasoline, set on fire, and thrown into jail. This is just bullshit. (-1 ELD)

Spoiler: METERS AND GAUGES (click to show/hide)

PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT METER: |=====____|
DISHEVELATION METER: |=________|
ELDRITCHITUDE METER: |========_|
DERE-DERE METER: |=________|
PLOT GAUGE:|=________|

[DarkArtemisFowl]

Not even past the first turn and we already have turned the GM into a tsundere-Cthulu monster that is being increasingly pissed off by pseudoscience and forum attacks. Great.

SEND IN THE THREAD-FLAMING TROLLS TO DISHEVEL THE GM EVEN MORE.

[Lenglon]

"but I don't understand, why do you want to fight us? Don't you like us anymore?"
Ask, accompanied by a wide-eyed stare and facefull of confusion.

[scapheap]

Appear in my pirate ship and fire a boardside at the GM

[Dermonster]

MUCKLE DAMRED GUM 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?