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[TopHat]

Carry on hugging GM

[Avis-Mergulus]

Not even past the first turn and we already have turned the GM into a tsundere-Cthulu monster that is being increasingly pissed off by pseudoscience and forum attacks. Great.

SEND IN THE THREAD-FLAMING TROLLS TO DISHEVEL THE GM EVEN MORE.

[3] The trolls are weak as piss! They wouldn't be able to dishevel a coat hanger! However that is done! (+1 DIS)

"but I don't understand, why do you want to fight us? Don't you like us anymore?"
Ask, accompanied by a wide-eyed stare and facefull of confusion.

[1] I see right through your bullshit attempt to appear adorable. I hate you. Why with the "anymore" thing? I ALWAYS hated you! Remember when I told you otherwise? Well, guess what, I LIED!!
The emotional impact of being so betrayed gives you a heart attack, and you fall over, dead. Screw you, go respawn or something, I don't give a shit.. Hah. One down, you feeble skunks.

Appear in my pirate ship and fire a boardside at the GM

[1] A boardside? I believe "broadside" is the word you mean. The root is "broad".
I wiggle my eyebrows at you and do a few pelvic thrusts.
The implied YO MOMMA INSULT strikes you in the throat! A major artery has been torn! scapheap has bled to death. Respawn?

MUCKLE DAMRED GUM 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?

[2] I don't understand you, you dang drunken Scotsman. Go get high or something, I cannot summon shoggoths. And won't. Shoggoths suck.

Carry on hugging GM

[1] Unfortunately for you, hugging Cthulhu tends to have negative effects on your sanity. You claw your eyes out, and run away, gibbering something about being awake. After that, you scrawl insanity-inducing sigils on the ground in your blood, then rip out your own jugular and die. Brilliant. I am delighted by your behaviour.
Respawn?

GM TURN:
Avis attempts to extract his flagella from jail, dragging angry prisoners with him! [6] He drags out Bubba, your personal nightmare! Bubba leers at Old Man Dermenson disconcertingly! His lard masses quiver! Dermenson feels threatened! What ho!

Spoiler: METERS AND GAUGES (click to show/hide)

PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT METER: |=====____|
DISHEVELATION METER: |==_______|
ELDRITCHITUDE METER: |========_|
DERE-DERE METER: |=________|
PLOT GAUGE:|=________|

[DarkArtemisFowl]

Have the 3rd Reddit Regiment post pseudoscientific crap to mess with the GM.

[Dermonster]

Summon reincarnated Hastur-Girlfriend(Yes that happened.)

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Be the knight.

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Hack the gms facebook account and post embarassing things.

[TopHat]

Respawn. Carry on hugging GM

[Lenglon]

Am dead, killed by the GM's betrayal, despite my lack of ill will. Lying there cold, motionless, gone. I never tried to attack, never wanted to attack, just stood there and asked: "Why?" As the GM struck me down. And now I'm gone. You'll never know what else I was going to do, to say, to be. How I intended to play, what I wanted to become, my hopes and dreams and fears, gone.

all gone, by your hand.

forever.

[Yoink]

>Summon GreatWyrmGold to throw the thread into an abyss of OOC chatter.

[Dorsidwarf]

Summon Swedish Steve to Skew the Sides So sycophancy Shall be Supreme and Su-


Actually, sod that. Fire the deeldritchometer at GM/b]

[WhitiusOpus]

recreate GM stick. Use it to derail by a megaton FIVE HENDERSONS!

[Yourmaster]

kidnap GM toaster and beat it on national tv

[Avis-Mergulus]

Have the 3rd Reddit Regiment post pseudoscientific crap to mess with the GM.

Have the 3rd Reddit Regiment post pseudoscientific crap to mess with the GM.

[6] You truly are the dummiest. Didn't you see that the PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT METER actually protects me from attacks? Thou have doomed thyself, fool! (+112 PSB)
Oh wait... NO! The Capacitor Unit Neutron Thingy's cores are overloaded! The PSB drive is running hot! ARRRGH..!
Avis has lost the PSEUDOSCIENCE BULLSHIT METER! Avis has gained the OVERDRIVE METER!

Summon reincarnated Hastur-Girlfriend(Yes that happened.)

[4]She is summoned! She will protect your bodacious bod from Bubba this turn! Bubba is furious!

Be the knight.

[-1 KNG] You are the Knight! You gain [+1] to knightly actions, as every knight should! A distant trumpet sounds! You are bestowed with a favor! (+1DER)

Hack the gms facebook account and post embarassing things.

[3]I have no Facebook account, puny fool! Therefore, you cannot hack it! Ha! Ha! Your plan is foiled! Do you feel clever now?

Respawn. Carry on hugging GM

[4] You respawn normally! [6] Agh. Stop it. No seriously, STAHP! You're making me uncomfortable. If you continue, my flagella will run out of control! (+2 DER)
TopHat is mildly molested by the GM's flagella!

Am dead, killed by the GM's betrayal, despite my lack of ill will. Lying there cold, motionless, gone. I never tried to attack, never wanted to attack, just stood there and asked: "Why?" As the GM struck me down. And now I'm gone. You'll never know what else I was going to do, to say, to be. How I intended to play, what I wanted to become, my hopes and dreams and fears, gone.

all gone, by your hand.

forever.

[6] No. I never meant all these things I said! Come back. Please, come back! I... I'm sorry! I NEVER INTENDED IT TO HAPPEN! But I will fix it. You'll see. Within this thread, I'm all-powerful. What went wrong can be set right once more. (+2 DER)
[6] Lenglon is resurrected as a PARAGON OF REMORSE! Her HOLINESS METER doubles in size! What, you didn't know you had one?

>Summon GreatWyrmGold to throw the thread into an abyss of OOC chatter.

[1]GWG is summoned... IN YOUR HEAD! Your thoughts are derailed into logic! Your head freezes to 15 microkelvins and bursts into fragments! This kills you! Rot in heck, sucka!

Summon Swedish Steve to Skew the Sides So sycophancy Shall be Supreme and Su-

Actually, sod that. Fire the deeldritchometer at GM/b]

[3]You miss! It is pathetic! The DEELDRITCH whizzes past me and disappears in the void of space! I don't know what a DEELDRITCH is! This confuses me!

recreate GM stick. Use it to derail by a megaton FIVE HENDERSONS!

[1]You attempt to recreate the stick, but Bubba believes that you are making a shiv and strangles you while you work! He also steals your spork!
Bubba has gained the GM spork!

kidnap GM toaster and beat it on national tv

[4]You kidnap my toaster! I didn't know I had one! You manage to convince a local news outlet to take an interview, and then beat the toaster on live TV! I am mildly irritated! (+1 DIS)

GM TURN:
Avis thinks angry thoughts to try and lower his DERE-DERE meter! [1] His thoughts drift constantly to the fact that you are kinda cute! (+1 DER)
BUBBA TURN:
Bubba leers at the HASTUR-GIRLFRIEND! [4] She sustains mild mental damage! Her ABOMINITUDE METER protects her from mental attacks!

Spoiler: METERS AND GAUGES (click to show/hide)

OVERDRIVE METER: |=________|
DISHEVELATION METER: |==_______|
ELDRITCHITUDE METER: |========_|
DERE-DERE METER: |=======__|
PLOT GAUGE:|=________|

[DarkArtemisFowl]

Summon forth some old men to excite GM's dere-dere meter.

[Yoink]

>Resurrect myself to have a BIG NNOOOOOOOOOOO moment, shaking my fist dramatically at GreatWyrm.

Then stab the GM with a lightsaber, I guess.