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[Yoink]

Not quickly enough to not get drunk.

[crazysheep]

This calls for science.

[Sheb]

Sir, you have just insulted me, my family, my country and my soul. I shall meet you in the field of honour with any weapon of your choice.

Beer is great. Beer is awesome. Beer is a drink with infinite variety, complex tastes, various colour and offering a wide range of alcohol content, to satisfy all your need from a refreshing post-hike tipple to a heat warming ale.

A couple bottle of decent trappist will get you joyous, a third will send you on your merry way to drunkeness (cans are for throwing at tasteless scums like yourself, not drinking). Give me beer or give me death.

At least in Belgium, in the rest of the world yeah, it's mostly piss-flavoured water (except Kölsch, which is water-flavoured piss).

[Yoink]

Beers are awesome, yes, but... I prefer cans.
You can crush them on your forehead once they're empty! I tried doing that with a bottle once and it didn't work out so well.
Plus, you can drink it more quickly. And stack up the cans in front of you, or throw them at people as you mentioned!
Although of course bottles are great, too. As is a nice, tall pint glass filled with liquid gold. Mmm.

...This would be making me sad if I didn't have any beer, but thankfully my father just gave me one. It's only light beer (I noticed he cracked open a dark ale for himself, bah!), and only one beer where I would usually have four or so, but it's better than nothing!
Actually, one of my favourite beers is a light beer, but that's probably mostly because it was the first beer I drank and is pretty much the emblem of the state in which I was born.

[Jimmy]

Relevant.

[crazysheep]

Beer is great, no doubting that. (I'm drinking one right now lol)
The only doubt I have is the drunkeness-inducing bit

[Sheb]

As someone who already spent nights sleeping in some random hallway because I was too drunk to find my way home after some heavy beer-drinking, I can confirm you can get drunk on beer.

[Xantalos]

I'd guess the point of beer is supposed to be a drink that is flavorful and stuff or something. Otherwise it doesn't make much sense to me; if I were to try to get drunk I'd go drink more alcoholic stuff than beer, and at those densities it's probably cheaper anyway rather than drinking a whole ton of just beer to obtain the same result.
...
That said, I've never seen the appeal to it because all of the varieties I've had just taste like piss. But where I am isn't Czech or anywhere with a strong beer tradition or anything, so there probably aren't many good varieties.

[Yoink]

You don't have to get drunk as quickly as possible, y'know.
The journey of getting drunk is half the fun of drinking with friends... especially since after that it often becomes a disgraceful affair of people getting lost, wandering into strip clubs, eating terrible kebabs, doing stupid shit, spending too much money and throwing up in the laundry.

More seriously though, uh... yeah, the first part of that was serious.
It's not like it's a race to get drunk quickly! Have a few beers, take your time, mix it up with a couple of mixed drinks if you want.
If you're out for the evening you'll be drunk soon enough, don't you worry. In fact getting drunk too fast is often a bad thing, at least if you're planning on seeing/doing stuff later on. It's never fun to get all excited and boozed up in preparation for seeing a band you like only to not remember anything about it and/or make a fool of yourself as they play, for example. >.>

[penguinofhonor]

Man, I almost always get drunk on beer. I'm kind of a lightweight, though, so 3-4 and I'm good and drunk (usually only 3 if they're strong beers but I like stouts so that's not uncommon). Sometimes I'll drink the first one or two pretty quickly or even chug a beer at the beginning if I really want to get drunk, but it's not usually a big deal. I drink beer with people I'd hang out with sober. Flavor is also a part of it too, though - I'd probably just do mixed drinks, cider, or wine if I didn't like beer at all.

Most beer tastes bad to most people, but all beer appeals to someone. Your initial goal with beer should be to search for what appeals to you. There is a ton of variety, and plenty of different beers don't even really taste similar. I like beer and I might gag if I tried to drink some of Rolan's IPAs. I'm a fan of dark beers and/or things that are sweet or malty, and I really dislike overbearing amounts of bitter hops. It's certainly possible that you don't like beer, but I'd try to make sure you aren't just tasting what you personally dislike.

[crazysheep]

The journey of getting drunk is half the fun of drinking with friends...

You're definitely right about this

[Jimmy]

Just finished my friday drinks night with 5 other friends and I can definitely agree with the above statements. Sadly there's no kebabs to be found, though I'd love one right about now.

[SirQuiamus]

How does one get drunk on regular beer without adding spirits to it (read: cheating)

By drinking 20 cans in a few hours. It's not that hard, once you've had a bit of practice, and not all that dangerous either, since beer is isotonic as well as diuretic, and therefore won't easily cause overhydration even if you drink it by the bucketful.

And it's also cheaper than spirits in most parts of the world. Where I'm from, vodka is 30% more expensive than beer relative to alcohol content.

Most beer tastes bad to most people, but all beer appeals to someone. Your initial goal with beer should be to search for what appeals to you. There is a ton of variety, and plenty of different beers don't even really taste similar.

So much this. Saying that you don't like juice is just factually wrong if all you've ever had is lukewarm canned tomato juice. And cheap canned lager is not analogous to tomato juice, but faintly tomato-flavored water.

If you're at a loss as to what types of beer there even are and which of them you should try, this little chart might be helpful:



I'm partial to beers from all four corners, but I try to avoid anything right at the center. :p

[Sheb]

Of course, Kolsch is at the dead center. :p

[Helgoland]

It is the truly neutral beer. Great for cleaning your palate between more intense beers.