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[superBlast]

give Grate a pomp cane that we "borrowed"

By which you mean found buried in Egypt correct?

((Lol.))

+1 to the lol

[Yourmaster]

give Grate a pomp cane that we "borrowed"

By which you mean found buried in Egypt correct?

((Lol.))

auto correct...
+1 to the lol

[BFEL]

You know what we should do?

Enroll Grate in Pre-school and teach him to blackmail the instructors with threats of molestation charges

[GreatWyrmGold]

That seems like it could easily backfire. Especially if they threaten to charge us with molestation. Or neglect or abuse.

Really, there's a damn good reason people get evidence before they blackmail.

[Parisbre56]

That seems like it could easily backfire. Especially if they threaten to charge us with molestation. Or neglect or abuse.

Really, there's a damn good reason people get evidence before they blackmail.

Ever seen "The Hunt"? (nominated for Best Foreign Language Film in this year's Academy Awards).
This movie teaches us that you don't need proof. You just need to threaten to ruin the teacher's reputation.

[Yoink]

Who needs artsy-fartsy foreign films, I learned the same thing from South Park.

[GreatWyrmGold]

That seems like it could easily backfire. Especially if they threaten to charge us with molestation. Or neglect or abuse.

Really, there's a damn good reason people get evidence before they blackmail.

Ever seen "The Hunt"? (nominated for Best Foreign Language Film in this year's Academy Awards).
This movie teaches us that you don't need proof. You just need to threaten to ruin the teacher's reputation.

((Hm, can't say I've seen that.
What's our career, anyways? And why couldn't he use the same strategy against us?))

[piecewise]

You buy grate a bunch of classic books on WAR! Stuff by  Sun Tsu, Thucydides,  General Carl von Clausewitz, B. H. Liddell Hart, etc. You carefully arrange them in front of Grate along with a large world map that has all the forces of the first world war all set up at the start of official hostilities.

"Now read these and then show me how Germany could have won, thereby avoiding the Treaty of Versailles and perhaps avoiding the crushing economic and pride situation that enabled Hitler to rise to power through a combination of Coop and stroking the patriotic pride of a depressed german populace. But make sure they don't win by too much. We gotta keep the borders of the superpowers basically unchanged, of course!"




Grate throws up on the map.


"WHY YOU LITTLE! HOW DID YOU EVEN DO THAT?! I HAVEN'T FED YOU IN...EVER!"

[Xantalos]

DECLARE HOUSE OWN PRIVATE COUNTRY
PUT GRATE THROUGH MILITARY TRAINING

[Remuthra]

DECLARE HOUSE OWN PRIVATE COUNTRY
PUT GRATE THROUGH MILITARY TRAINING

+1

[Kadzar]

Weren't we supposed to read books to Grate, instead of trying to make a toddler read military strategy books himself?

[Yoink]

>Feed the child a single slice of toasted bread.

>Then shoot the toaster with a high-calibre bullet.

This will teach Grate the fleeting nature of all that is good.

[Ghazkull]

" EXCELLENT IDEA! THROUGH THE FREE APPLICATION OF BIOLOGICAL AND CHEMICAL WEAPONS GERMANY COULD HAVE WON. HERE HAVE YOUR FIRST FOOD IN EVER"

[Parisbre56]

>Feed the child a single slice of toasted bread.

>Then shoot the toaster with a high-calibre bullet.

This will teach Grate the fleeting nature of all that is good.

That's horrible! And unnecessary. Why would you do that to a poor helpless Toaster?

You can achieve the same effect AND traumatize the child better by giving him a bite of the best tasting food ever and then eating the rest. Bonus points for leaving a few more pieces of food lying around and telling him not to eat them. We secretly make them extra extra spicy. That will teach him patience and never to disobey us.

I mean, really, shoot a toaster? Some people are just sick...

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Why not give him some ambrosia then leave a couple more blocks lying around which are really wax with glitter, same effect but with a bigger impact.