piecewise mentioning the kid was named for me drove me back here. Let's see what madness and horror you have inflicted on him. I mean, aside from a name suited more for a forum than real life.
Okay. Bye.
NAME THE CHILD GWG IN POST-MORTUM HONOR.
R.I.P. GREATWYRMGOLD
2006-2014
2006? Also, RIP?
You hold the baby over your head like a baboon with a baby lion...
Don't try this at home with your newborn. They can't support their heads yet.
Unusually horrible (and usually stupid) suggestions
You'll raise a fantastic corpse at this rate. And not even a very big one.
We are terrible, terrible people, aren't we?
Yes. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
We're trying to unlock his potential not kill him!
Such can be said for most of your ideas.
Bathe him in classic rock music to prevent possible stupid tastes.
Finally, a reasonable suggestion!
Well, almost, but I'll take what I can get. It's not like someone's going to suggest anything that would make us a decent parent, eh?
>Buy him some nice toys, including a little blue teddy bear and a xylophone, and a fun assortment of board-books.
>Take him to the museum to look at DINOSAURS RAAAWR.
...
+1
I'd rather that than have him be the 70,000th person I've met trying to convince me that Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are messiahs of music, and that I'm stupid because I listen to Rap.
Now, now,
you're not stupid because you listen to rap.
It's just that rap is terrible and barely qualifies as music.
((And I'm not going to claim that anyone is a messiah of music. Unless maybe it's one of the great classical composers, or someone who made a genre of music.))
Btw, is it possible we could accidently kill our kid before he even reaches 16? Or is it that no matter what hell we put him through he'll still be alive. Crippled or maimed, but alive.
At this rate, crippled
and maimed is about the best possible outcome.
Exactly what stat is this raising though?
Deadness?
>At least get the poor kid a teddy bear.
+1
A mechanized one, programmed to spout the occasional motivational phrase and slap him around when he's feeling sorry for himself.
...
-1
"Poketwo, how dare you bring logic int this place!"
Wait, that counted as logic?
>Sacrifice a dear to Hecate Goddess of Witchcraft to bless your son with "The Gift".
+1. Got to remember to honor the dark gods.
+1. Considering Bay12, this is probably one of the least detrimental actions that can be performed in a turn...
Of course, I don't know what this 'gift' is...but whatever it is, it is probably better than baptizing the child into the faith of Armok.
Point.
Also, this is the only non-abusive action with any chance of success.
+1
-1 to any actions I did not specifically +1, God you guys are horrible.