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Author Topic: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?  (Read 10209 times)

monk12

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The bombs have dropped.

Fortunately, you are outside the immediate blast zone, saving you from a fate of being instantly vaporized.

Unfortunately, you are in the second, wider zone of people who have received a crazy lethal dose of radiation poisoning.

WHUPS



You don't know much about the exciting new physiological changes in store for you, but you DO know that you probably have like 10 turns to live. What do?

Fniff

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2014, 01:33:57 pm »

Drag self away from broken rubble into some rubble with a bit of shade. Try to not vomit.

darkpaladin109

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2014, 01:36:38 pm »

EVOLVE MUTANT POWERS.
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monk12

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #3 on: January 08, 2014, 01:42:53 pm »

Drag self away from broken rubble into some rubble with a bit of shade. Try to not vomit.

(2)

You successfully drag yourself out of the broken rubble and into the searing light of day! Fortunately, the sun looks much less bright now that you can compare it to the sun which bloomed over downtown. A bout of searing gastrointestinal pain reminds you of your predicament.

9 turns to live!

EVOLVE MUTANT POWERS.

(2)

You hold your hands up expectantly. Maybe you'll get wings! Or bulletproof scales! Or Wolverine claws! Wait no, Wolverine had fast healing and a crazy scientist grafted the claws onto his skeleton in an incredibly painful process.

Speaking of incredibly painful processes, instead of exhibiting signs of a neat superpower you are rewarded with the sight of your flesh cooking from the inside. Like that one time you cooked a pork chop in the microwave, but somehow even less appetizing.

9 turns to live!

Fniff

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #4 on: January 08, 2014, 01:47:01 pm »

Try to get some iodine pills. Possibly also a skin graft. Or just a shitton of codeine.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2014, 01:50:40 pm »

Crawl out of rubble and feverishly look for loved ones to rescue.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2014, 01:52:07 pm »

Desperately try not to be naked, vomiting, or on fire and search for a priest for some last rites.
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darkpaladin109

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2014, 01:55:08 pm »

Look for sharp objects, guns etc. to kill myself with.
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Fniff

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2014, 01:56:49 pm »

(We've been playing for a turn and this is already the darkest RTD ever.)

Comrade P.

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2014, 01:58:55 pm »

Put on nazi uniform (like this), which was carefully saved for a moment like that, grab a flamethrower and begin genocide.
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Toaster

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #10 on: January 08, 2014, 02:08:42 pm »

Strike a heroic pose that frames the hospital with the Cure in the background.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

WhitiusOpus

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2014, 02:28:37 pm »

Push said heroic poser out of the way, then take selfie in front of hospital with cure
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Quote from: The Froggy Ninja
Young Masches: Fetch yonder blade!
Masches grabs his "sword." Navi gasps. Her aura flushes a pinkish hue and she flies out the window.

monk12

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2014, 02:35:15 pm »

Try to get some iodine pills. Possibly also a skin graft. Or just a shitton of codeine.

(5)

Suddenly you remember that you used to work in a hospital! More accurately, you used to work in the pile of rubble behind you which used to be a hospital. More importantly than that, you remember that hospitals treat radiation symptoms, like, all the time! Well, maybe not all the time, but there's probably something kicking around.

Rooting around the rubble, you come up with a Medco(tm) Medkit! You quickly swallow the iodine, antimicrobials, painkillers, and all the other goodies inside. You feel like your life expectancy has increased! You feel like your symptoms are treated!

11 turns to live!
Symptom suppression!

Crawl out of rubble and feverishly look for loved ones to rescue.

(1)
Random Symptom Chart: (12)

You emerge from the shattered ruins of your house. The house is gone. The garage is gone. The pool is gone. The garden is gone. The annoying neighbor is gone? Yes. Also the neighbor who owes you ten dollars. Also the road. And the mailbox.

Your daughter's birthday party is ruined!

The magnitude of your loss dawns on you. Your daughter, son, infant son, wife, mother, father, father-in-law, second cousin once removed, wife's friend from work, wife's friend from yoga, and an assortment of your daughter's friends that you had trouble keeping track of are all gone too. Or, to put it another way, they aren't gone, but they seem to have formed a slurry of smashed bodies and charred clothing in your backyard, partially buried by what used to be the garage. Oh, and also the doghouse. And the dog.

You poop yourself. Repeatedly, and uncontrollably.

9 turns to live!
Symptom exhibited: Diarrhea! 1/15

Desperately try not to be naked, vomiting, or on fire and search for a priest for some last rites.

(3)

Now that the lightshow is over, you are confronted with the urgent truth of your imminent demise. On the plus side, you are still clad in the classy bathrobe you had gone out to get the newspaper in. You know, the one with the little duckies on the sleeves. You also aren't yet exhibiting symptoms of acute radiation poisoning, so there's that. And it seems the gale force winds that accompanied the recent warhead detonations have snuffed the flames from the first warhead detonations!

On the down side, you somehow know in your heart of hearts that you have ten turns to live, however long a "turn" is.

You break into a sprint, bathrobe fluttering in the apocalypticly fresh breeze. You soon find yourself outside a church of some denomination. Hopefully the right one. It's hard to tell, since the church is rubble now.

9 turns to live!

Look for sharp objects, guns etc. to kill myself with.

(6)

Well, the mutant thing didn't work out, but on the plus side you're still an off-duty soldier on what used to be the biggest military compound in the city. On the down side the little bits you remember from the radiation poisoning training videos suggest that you'd be better off quaffing cyanide than sitting around waiting for the radiation to kill you. There's a lot of pain and bodily fluids involved, you know that much.

Jogging around the various ruined buildings (which are much less bombproof than you had been lead to believe) you quickly come to a pile of rubble which used to be the armory.

You dig.

You find a bomb of some kind! Well, no kill like overkill, right?

8 turns to live!

Put on nazi uniform (like this), which was carefully saved for a moment like that, grab a flamethrower and begin genocide.

(5)

Realizing that the end is nigh, the only important thing remaining is to finish the cleansing work begun by the nuclear holocaust. Get it? Holocaust?

Because you're a Nazi?

You quickly kick open the bomb shelter door, already clad in your good old Ethnic Cleansing gear. Well, technically speaking it used to belong to your grandpa, but you called dibs on it when he hung himself six years ago, and you've kept it in murder-mint condition.

You've also kept the flamethrower in murder-mint condition!

Running down the street, (1) you run into Fniff outside the hospital, who has just consumed medicine which may (but probably won't) save his life! You don't like probablys.

9 turns to live!

Strike a heroic pose that frames the hospital with the Cure in the background.

(2)

At a completely separate hospital, you thank your lucky stars that you were the city's leading radiotoxicologist specialist, before the End Times came.

You curse your unlucky stars that all of the very expensive lab equipment, medical supplies, and patented RadEx(tm) emergency serum is now a very fine powder under the very coarse ruins of the hospital.

Also, this isn't a completely separate hospital; it seems there is a flamethrower-wielding maniac coming down the street.

9 turns to live!

Push said heroic poser out of the way, then take selfie in front of hospital with cure

(5)

As the heroic poser realizes that all is lost and nothing matters anymore, you shove him roughly to the ground. Then, for good measure, you take a picture of yourself, standing on his back, in front of the ruins of the hospital. This way, when you eat the powdered remains of Radex (and hopefully not the powdered asbestos from the hospital insulation) you'll be able to prove you looked awesome while doing it!

You know, as long as you do it in the next 9 turns. However long that is.

9 turns to live!

Comrade P.

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2014, 02:40:21 pm »

((Hehe. I do hope my fancy gear won't burn me down because of a bad roll. But still...))
Screw Holocaust. Burn anyone who comes in sight before I die myself.
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Sigs

Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV?

Fniff

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Re: Roll to Slowly Die of Radiation Poisoning After A Nuclear Attack?
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2014, 02:41:16 pm »

Grab a bit of rebar and beat the nazi with it if he tries to attack me. Otherwise/afterwards, try to find a sports car in the hospital parking lot. Hey, it was underground, so it probably survived!
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