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[LeoLeonardoIII]

"I'm not alone with this turd ... THE TURD IS ALONE WITH ME"

[tomio175]

Joe, my minigun and your magic would make a wonderful pair. Wanna team up?

((This is for you, Remuthra))

[Remuthra]

"Why, back in my day, we didn't need guns to kill each other with bullets! If you wanna stick with me, though, kid, you're welcome to! Reminds me of my wingman back in World War I."

[Liber celi]

((I somehow got delayed for two hours while trying to post this. Well.
If you want to rearrange the (starting) teams, tell me so. Don't worry, you're not stuck like that for long anyway.

((I have a problem with seeing images on a host you use. Can you reupload mine one or something?))

Oh. Well, this isn't going to be image heavy. TRY THIS ONE. Has anybody else this problem?

I'll write my in-story narration in 14p font size and Times New Roman, to make it look like a book for the elderly. Or a self-published one. *canned laughter*))

A group of wizards approached the entrance to the banquet. They were aproaching for quite a while now, since there was no free food yet and wizards, just like teenagers, old people and everybody else moving in disorganized hordes have this game of social dominance called Who Dawdles Most.
The biggest Dawdlers were of course the gun wizards Raw Dogg the MC Enchanter, Gretust Tungsten-headed and Sinless, the wizardly wizard. The very biggest dawdler though was Keith, Destroyer of Ten Worlds, who wasn't even in the street yet, instead watching the others over the length of his scorpio ballista, making little pew pew sounds with his mouth.
That was when suddenly the sun became as black as tar and seven vampire bats felll from the sky, six landing on the street and one on the very roof Keith was trespassing on. Damn. And they hadn't even reached the buffet yet!

Dirk the Almighty was perusing the toilet of a freight train. Wizards use freight trains like other people use their bikes or feet and nobody ever stops them.
Dirk wasn't using the toilet quite as you would expect of course. That wasn't how he did his job. But he was interrupted in his ritual when Norwollis the Woffle, who had been chilling medidating outside in the boxcar with Joe Bridger and Megaton the Awesome called him.
The train slowed down. The tracks in front of them were blown up and trenches were dug. A machine gun started firing. Three fas-moving armoured fords closed in on the street beside the tracks, the windows opening to reveal men with Uzis and Shotguns.
Canadian Mafia work.

Outside USA City, the Grizzly Bear Golems roared in unison. They had found the trail.
 

[tomio175]

Start with an awesome tune, while in cover!

[Liber celi]

A MAGIC TUNES DESCENDS FROM THE VERY HEAVENS; STRIKING FEAR IN THE HEARTS OF HARDWORKING CANADIAN MAFIOSI!

[Comrade P.]

Fire several projectiles into direction of roar, assuning they will draw a parabola and hit those who interrupted me from dawdling.
((Also, Liber celi, thanks, it worked like that.))

[darkpaladin109]

Summon giant toilet to crush one of the armored cars.

[Remuthra]

BOOM! SNIPE THE BEAR!

"Love is like a gun, and in the hands of someone like you I think it kills..."

[The Froggy Ninja]

"Good thing I still have some 'pixy dust' left over from my visit to 'fairyland'."I 'use' some 'pixy dust' to create a comical anvil above the vampire.

[Armok]

> Sumon a teeensy amount of antimatter inside the brain of one of the mafia. Just, oh, half a kiloton TNT equivalent or so.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

> Sumon a teeensy amount of antimatter inside the brain of one of the mafia. Just, oh, half a kiloton TNT equivalent or so.

If he lacked any matter in there nothing would happen, right?

[tomio175]

Make a track the train can ride on, using bullets and bodies! Afterwards, cruise on.

[Liber celi]

CANADIAN MAFIOSI COUNTER: 14
VAMPIRE COUNTER: 6
BEAR GOLEM SCALING FACTOR: 8999
is what the statistics would read, if the Real and Gritty life in USA City, Canada, would have such crutches like statistics or counters open dice throws.

Fire several projectiles into direction of roar, assuning they will draw a parabola and hit those who interrupted me from dawdling.

BOOM! SNIPE THE BEAR!

Ignoring the feeble deceptions of the enemy -what lesser people would call 'the danger at hand'- two wise men ram their massive erect weapons into the ground with the incessant recoil of their mighty shots.
In the distance, the roar becomes a bit louder.

BEAR GOLEM SCALING FACTOR: 8998.5

The vampire bats start morphing itno... giant vampire bats! They're at least two final forms away from the bishonen stage, though.

"Good thing I still have some 'pixy dust' left over from my visit to 'fairyland'."I 'use' some 'pixy dust' to create a comical anvil above the vampire.

You snort your powder. Accidently, maybe? Anyway, one of the bats snorts its own blood and pulped organs. Not enough to kill it, but it's trapped good.
VAMPIRE COUNTER: 5

The train is slowing down, then speeding up. The reckless conductor has taken over the locomotive and kicked the cowardly engineer into a corner. You'll take that trench or die! or BOTH!

Summon giant toilet to crush one of the armored cars.

Today is a good day to crush your enemies under comically oversized furniture!
The toilet you summon is not really comically oversized, rather small actually, smaller than a regular toilet even, and empty, but it's a toilet and it crashes through the windshield and now the car is swerving and falling back.

CANADIAN MAFIOSI COUNTER: 13

> Sumon a teeensy amount of antimatter inside the brain of one of the mafia. Just, oh, half a kiloton TNT equivalent or so.

You fail, summoning a teensy amount of regular matter in his spleen, causing extreme pain and possibly lethal internal bleeding... in a minute or so.
CANADIAN MAFIOSI COUNTER: still 13

Make a track the train can ride on, using bullets and bodies! Afterwards, cruise on.

((pretty sure you need at least a fittin rock song to do that, mister!))

[Remuthra]

Alright, this is going to need some more creativity.

Jump out into the center of the battlefield and STEAL CANADIAN SOULS!

Song.