Greetings! Let's play a round of the best game
1: Wizards with Guns!
2
Making guns is exclusively an NPC power.(image source)The rules are well-known and certainly not
made up by me as I write this post, but let me reiterate them here so I can listen to the soothing clatter of my keyboard a little. Such a nice noise.
This is a play-by-post RPG. There are no restricitions on the player number
and new players may join at any time. All of you play wizards. All of you have a (one[1]) gun. You star in a
deep, subtle and intricate story free-for-all traitorfest cheap excuse for a sandbox. Your characters are extremely CUSTOMIZABLE. All rolls are done by me with a secret and undisclosed yet 100% fair, balanced and HIGHLY REALISTIC procedure. Don't worry about the rules much.
The V. OBLIGATORY CHARACTERSHEET is below.
A warning though: I lack determination, obstinacy and any redeeming qualities! This whole thing will probably die in a gutter as soon as real life as much as looks at me funny! Ha! Haha!
Character sheet(Very OBLIGATORY):
How to fill the VERY OBLIGATORY CHARACTER SHEET("VERY-OCS"):
NAME: what your wizard is called! Probably not all their titles will fit into that tiny space, but hey! Tough luck!
LENGTH(BEARD): The length of their very prestigious and culturally sensitive chin pelt. There may be a zero in here, many wizards, especially lady wizards, don't really have much facial hair at all. They're no dwarves, after all! Most of them, anyway.
Beard length per se doesn't have a mechanical effect, while the UNIT OF MEASURE, of course, does! (decimeters, feet, centimeter, cubits, lightyears or degrees Fahrenheit are just some possibilites!)
Also, masters, mentors and the like MUST have a longer beard than their disciples. Twice as long is a good first guess.
SCHOOL: what magic trickery your noice wizard can do! Preferrably something ending in -mancy, like necromancy or pyromancy or clemancy. A short description of what it does would be amazesome, but don't write it here. There's just not enough space for it.
One thing no school can do is directly affect guns or bullets. Bullets are an earthling's cryptonite.
GUN: the model and name of your gun. Be it a Handgun, rifle, cannon, flak, arquebuse, Rocket launcher, whatever. Give it a lady name, or something starting with "The" and ending with "-tor" slash "-izer" or keep it completely professional and casuallike instead. It's okay. We know you stroke your gun, sometimes, when you need something to hold on and your beard just won't do like it used to.
GUN POWER: Pick one. The one actual statistic your gun has. This is what you carry this darling around for! (Also for firing deadly bullets at people you don't like. Don't need a gun power for THAT.) All the possible powers can be found in the list below. Faaaar below.
THE POINTS: I stole those from Paranoia, but I put a spin on it. Mostly by giving them an even more obnoxious name! Every player starts with five The Points. I'll give you more whenever you do something remotely cool or funny! You can spend any amount of your The Points to help or hinder a player(e.g. yourself) during a roll, influencing the result in arcane and difficultly to quantify ways. Given the nature of a play-by-post game, not everybody will always have the chance to use their The Points as they wish to! But that's fine! For me! Yes!
The Points you spend are secretly tracked. As soon as your spent The Points reach a certain secret amount there are special rewards for you! Making your character more powerful, probably. Delicious secrets!
FAMILIAR: Many wizards have a familiar, a homunculus, imp, talking raven or especially vile cat following them around. This is NOT noted on the VERY-OCS since familiars are without exception neglectable, forgettable, useless and only ever good for comic relief. They can't even operate a gun! Oh the HUMANITY!
Some possible Schools:
All the Gun Powers:
The gun powers all have german names because I want to inflict as much suffering onto you as I can. Hi!
- Sperrfeuer (Barrage): You can unleash a hail of bullets, or something to that effect, killing mooks and forcing actual people into cover. A defensive power, mainly, don't expect to actually hurt somebody important while using this.
- Meuchler(Assassination): You're an adept of GUN-KATA or GUN-FU or use a very short-range weapon or just never learned how gunpowder weaponry actually works. You're a killing machine at a melee distance, allowing all kinds of matrix-dodges and finishing moves. And you can still shoot regularely at a distance, probably. Somewhat.
- Zweikampf(Duel): Your gun is so badass, it allows you to call out characters to have a honorable duel with you, like real men. Or real women, it depends. On factors. Anyway, the physical laws of our universe make everybody stare in inaction and awe as the participants choose their seconds and then shoot at each other exactly once. The guy with this ability has something of a big advantage when dueling, of course. Cowardly and whimpering crybabies(like most player characters) will try to resist the challenge, and clever characters still have the option to flee in panic if they can't resist the challenge(which at least makes shooting them easier for everybody). Challenging multiple people in a row is fiendishly difficult and most often ends in blamage and social detriment.
- Haubitze(Howitzer): You're using a grenade launcher, or a flare gun or very penetrative ammunition or an actual howitzer or you're shooting around corners using pseudophysics like they do im that one mildly amusing action movie, you remember the one. You can shoot out of cover, but expext RIDICULOUS BAD LUCK if you miss. Which happens. All lot.
- Fledermausmann(Mercy): You can use your gun non-lethally, to stun and otherwise subdue enemies. Decreases... well, actually probably, in the end, increases the chance of hurting innocents, because now you'll open fire at everything that moves, won't you? Alright, making prisoners is easier and you still can kill them while theyre down. Maybe nobody's looking.
- Dosenöffner(Can opener): Your gun has a sharp edge, perfect to open simple tin cans.
- Rote Grütze(Red grits): While you're not a better gunwizard, your, well, successes are more impressive. Whenever you manage to kill or disable somebody with your gun, everybody in their general vincinity is affected by psychological trauma or worse, depending on the circumstances.
- Öhhh...(Uhhh...): If I forgot a canon Gun power, remind me.
- By which I mean, make some up if you have a good idea, and propose them
- I don't want minmaxed spawn campers in here though
- Or maybe I do
- Who even knows
Joining the game and death:
You can join anytime by skimming the thread and placing your character anywhere in the city. Close to where the action is, presumably! With a general utterance what to do! Wizards all know each other, though rarely like each other, so no need to introduce yourself in-game. Just fill out the character sheet, explain what your magic school does and whatever details you want to add to your wizard!
If you die, copy your character sheet with your daddy's xerox printer, change what you didn't like, adjust the beard length and name, and join the fray as your previous character's mentor, ex-teacher or granduncle. Or as their student, but then you'd need to subtract some beard length, and we don't want that kind of stuff in here, do we? That's basically softcore shaving.
THE STORY
Most people like to pretend magic doesn't exist. They know better, sure, but they really rather didn't. You're not most people. You're a wizard (or a witch, sorceror or enchantress PLZ NO MAGES IN HERE MAGES GO AWAY NAO), wandering the borders between the world of reality tv and gun powder and the world of werewolves and angry old people standing on mountain tops throwing lightning BALLS at each other while YODELING.
Today, your path has led you to USA City, Canada, where the Red Cross is holding a welfare banquet for the strange and disconcerting elderly. A wizard never passes on a free meal and a wizard with a gun neither! NEITHER! Also, it's really improbable that the Red Cross has been taken over by vampires and that the Canadian mafia has special orders from the last pope... or the one before... to not suffer a single witch to live. And those grizzly bear golems are certainly only a RUMOR. Most certainly! You still pack HEAT, of course, enough HEAT to kill a building. The police looks the other way, as usual. Wizard coming through.
Most wizards are lining up at the entrance to the Red Cross banquet. Some are out in the city park to dig pentagrams into the dirt and feed the birds. Many are still riding a freight train, just crossing the city borders. Some are wherever their ARCANE DUTIES need them most.
Where are you?
Map:
If we need one........there will be one.
Example characters:
Ecclesias "Doug" of the Eternal Order of the Rising Silver Moon, Bringer of Mild Oblivion
"Doug can manipulate light, conjure darkness and has a squirrel familiar! And a pocket cuckoo watch!"
Adamantius the Violetish
"Adamantius was born 1562 but spent most of his adult life in a barrel of buttered honey. Preserved this way, he[...] finally acquired an assault rifle so he[...]comes now to USA City to avenge a perceived slight, and finish off the[...] free dinner. He has specialised in the summoning of legendary giants during his studies in the Andes."(shortened to protect the reader, -Ed.)
Note: may or may not actually be the best game.
2I do not condone gun violence in any way, except in this game, where I extremely condone all kinds of gun violence. As far as they dont infringe on any forum rules, of course!
Also I hope the exactly same thing hasn't been done already. It probably has, of course.
Also, wow, this OP is a mess already.
Author
Topic: [FREE FOR ALL RPG] Wizards with Guns 0: Gun Wizards (Read 10745 times)