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Author Topic: Uskarian Adventures : It's dead, Jim.  (Read 79091 times)

The Froggy Ninja

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : magical thrift shop
« Reply #585 on: June 08, 2014, 06:23:53 pm »

((Just a suggestion for smurfingtonthethird The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth.))
"He rallied the vegetables to go to war with the vegetables? Anyway we're going to kill him. Do you know where we could find a map or something?"
« Last Edit: June 08, 2014, 07:24:30 pm by The Froggy Ninja »
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Pancaek

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : magical thrift shop
« Reply #586 on: June 08, 2014, 07:13:32 pm »

((well, that's a bad friggin typo right there. should hav been fruits against the vegetables, obviously. that'll teach me  to update so late at night. ))
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Yoink

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : magical thrift shop
« Reply #587 on: June 08, 2014, 08:10:07 pm »

Moskar got to his feet, still looking at his metallic arm as it flexed with movement.
"Hmm. The pressence that entered my mind before, are you sstill in there?" he says, feeling somewhat foolish talking to air.
Without waiting for an answer he turns to face a nearby tree, glancing from it to the arm and back.

Approach a nearby tree other than the one I was sitting against, hit it with my cleaver.
Try and gauge if this new arm is stronger than my old one.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

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TCM

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : magical thrift shop
« Reply #588 on: June 08, 2014, 11:09:47 pm »

Enter the quarters.

"Anyone home?"
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

smurfingtonthethird

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« Last Edit: June 10, 2014, 02:25:35 am by smurfingtonthethird »
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RIP Moot ;-;7 Sigtext!

Gamerlord

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : magical thrift shop
« Reply #590 on: June 10, 2014, 02:52:06 am »

What about the captives? We have to help them!

Harry Baldman

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : magical thrift shop
« Reply #591 on: June 10, 2014, 04:02:57 am »

What about the captives? We have to help them!

"It would be more responsible of us to notify the vegetables, naturally, but I do find your idea to smell of grand adventure! Oh, what to do, what to do?"
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Pancaek

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In the vegetable kingdom

"We shall aid you! Such dishonorable tactics are against the very spirit of jolly good warfare!"

Help our new friend on his path! Make an impromptu stretcher if needed!
"You have my thanks, outlander."

You help the man to his feet. He's still a bit wobbly, and you fear he might fall down any moment, but he stoically takes it and starts heading outside. The three of you follow him as he starts heading towards the city.

((Just a suggestion for smurfingtonthethird The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth.))
"He rallied the vegetables to go to war with the vegetables? Anyway we're going to kill him. Do you know where we could find a map or something?"
"What? Did I say that? Sorry, I'm still a bit dizzy, I meant to say that he united the fruits against the vegetables, obviously. And the way how he did it was rather simple really. He killed president Pineapple and dubbed himself Lord Tomato."

What about the captives? We have to help them!
"You want to go and attack around 40 heavily armed soldiers to save a few captives? I like your spirit, lass, but we can't be that reckless. You're no good to them dead."


The walk to the town takes you a good hour and a half, by the time you arrive it's already becoming dusk. You enter the town after the cabbage man talks with the gate guard for a moment. He leads you through the marketplace into the guardhouse. In there you find two men in a discussion. One is wearing very gaudy and frilly clothes, and seems to have a skin liek carrots. The other seems to have a skin like an old potato, with a multitude of scars.

"I must insist that you send your guardsmen to my farmlands! I cannot have them destroy my lands!"

"Lord Carrot, I cannot send the few men I have to protect your private proprety in times like this, as I've explained many times before."

"You insolent lout, you should obey your betters. King Pumpkin will hear of this, Harrumph!"

The well dressed man leaves the room in a huff, and cabbage man adresses the other.

"Sir potato, I come bearing grave news."

"Dear lord, man, what happened to you?"

"The village of chou colline was attacked by a fruit raiding party, sir. The other guardsmen didn't make it. They sacked the city and captured the inhabitants, sir."

The potato man, who you now notice is wearing a similar uniform as the cabbage although with some more stripes and medals, begins pacing around as the guardsmen tells the entire story.

"This is grave news, guardsman. It means the reports from our scouts were spot on. I believe we're looking at an attack on this town in about a day's time, possible already in the morning. Damn it all.

Anyway, you did good guardsman, get some rest."


"Yes sir!"

He then turns to our party and leans against the table

"So, you helped the guardsmen here get to the town. My thanks, we will at least have some time to prepare for the assault. So, what brings you outlanders to our town? You look able enough to be soldiers, but you're obviously not vegetables or fruits. It's a rather long way from the alliance's territory, hmm?"

On a lonely road
Moskar got to his feet, still looking at his metallic arm as it flexed with movement.
"Hmm. The pressence that entered my mind before, are you sstill in there?" he says, feeling somewhat foolish talking to air.
Without waiting for an answer he turns to face a nearby tree, glancing from it to the arm and back.

Approach a nearby tree other than the one I was sitting against, hit it with my cleaver.
Try and gauge if this new arm is stronger than my old one.
You hear a sound like a yawn in your head. At least, it sounds like an imitation of a yawn that someone who has never actually heard one would make.
"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm still here. rather stuck, to be honest."

You walk up to the tree and swing your cleaver at it. It bites deep into the wood, so deep that you have some trouble getting it loose. It was certainly harder than you used to be able to swing, but not quite the strength you remember from when you killed the mage.

"trying out the new arm eh? Honestly, it's pretty weak right now in its dormant state. Doesn't quite have the same power like when activated it back then eh? Guess I should explain how that works, ahem. It feeds of certain emotions when you activate it. Back when you fought the mage, It was mostly anger and rage about wanting to kill the bastard. However, when transformed, it tends to feed of both the emotion until that runs out, then it starts feeding on you. Stay transformed too long and it may very well be the armour that kills you. Different emotions have different effects on the armour, as well. I wouldn't be too concerned about the feeding on you part, by the way. Mortals are such emotional creatures that it takes quite a while for you to run out."

+1 to attacks with weapons using the arm

In an undergound mage lair
Enter the quarters.

"Anyone home?"
You enter the quarters and ask if anyone's home. Nobody answers, but you see the reason for that soon enough. An old man is lying in bed, obviously not breathing anymore. From the burned smell in the room, it's safe to say that the smoke got to him in his sleep. The room has two more beds, both empty. A closet and a small chest sit at the far end of the room. You open both out of curiosity. The closet contains a few robes and assorted clothes. The chest contains a large sack of coins, and a small box. Inside the box are a compass, a jet black coin with inlaid pearl markings, and a note. The note reads:

Still haven't completely figured out what these two blasted things do exactly. The coin bears the ancient dwarven words for 'yes' on one side and 'no' on the other. The compass seems to react to one's wishes. One day, I was holding the compass and I said out loud that I was feeling rather peckish. The needle spun around wildly and settled on a certain direction. Following the needle, I came to the greenhouse. It seemed to be pointing to the cabbages in particular. I don't even like cabbage, I was feeling more like the cookie jar we passed on the way.

On the road to the citadel
Play
The Truth, The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth.

Ask him what they really are.
You whip out your guitar and [8] play the song perfectly. The wizard [wizard mind defence=5+6] listens with a smile, and claps after you are done.

"Very impressive, young sir. I see you've got yourself a fine magical artifact there. Gives me a bit of a headache though."

Your song doesn't seem to have had any effect on the man. You ask your question anyway.

"Ah, rest assured, they are exactly as I told you. Observe, if you will."

He grabs the pitcher, goes to the side of the road and turns it upside down. Water starts pouring, seemingly never stopping. He let's it pour for about 2 minutes before turning it back right side up. He goes to cart and takes out a small bottle of wine. He pours in a few drops of the wine into the pitcher and turns it upside down again. Red liquid comes pouring out.

"You see, just as advertised. I sell artifacts, good man, not lies."
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The Froggy Ninja

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"We're from another world sent to assassinate Lord Tomato and bring peace back to the multiverse at the behest of a trickster god. Or something I wasn't really paying attention."

Harry Baldman

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"Oh, we are not soldiers, no, but, like our friend has said, we are assassins! Tomato hunters! Here to eliminate the perfidious, vile, terrible, inconceivably foul and foully inconceivable Lord Tomato, presumably! And save the Vegetable Kingdom, and presumably the Alliance of Free Foodstuffs from the Fruit Federation's evil predation, for our most treasured god has decreed that it must be so!"

'Splain!
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Gamerlord

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We're a Kitsune, a Clown and an Angel. Extrapolate your jokes from there.

smurfingtonthethird

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"Good show! Sorry for doubting you, but you never know these days. How much does everything cost?"
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RIP Moot ;-;7 Sigtext!

Pancaek

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In the vegetable kingdom
"We're from another world sent to assassinate Lord Tomato and bring peace back to the multiverse at the behest of a trickster god. Or something I wasn't really paying attention."
"Oh, we are not soldiers, no, but, like our friend has said, we are assassins! Tomato hunters! Here to eliminate the perfidious, vile, terrible, inconceivably foul and foully inconceivable Lord Tomato, presumably! And save the Vegetable Kingdom, and presumably the Alliance of Free Foodstuffs from the Fruit Federation's evil predation, for our most treasured god has decreed that it must be so!"

'Splain!
"Well, I can't say that I really have any idea what in the blazes you're talking about, but anyone who wants the Tomato dead is all right in my book. If you want to get to the Tomato, your best bet would be to go to the capital. Just follow the road out of the west gate and you should arrive in about a day's walk. I'd offer you some help or some horses, but we really can't spare anything, what with the attack from the fruits coming in the morning."

We're a Kitsune, a Clown and an Angel. Extrapolate your jokes from there.
The man simply gives you a blank stare as you say what you are

"Ki-tsoo-neh? Clown? Angel? must be some of those uncommon federation berry minorities."

On a road heading towards the citadel
"Good show! Sorry for doubting you, but you never know these days. How much does everything cost?"
"Oh no worries, I suppose it is simply the times we live in. Now, for prices, let me just go over the items before us once more.

The ring, which acts as a tiny portal to another place, I'd say should be worth about 750 gold pieces.

The key, which will open or close any lock should be worth about...hmmm...1500.

The goblet, I'd say about 2500. It can be quite handy if you find the right liquid, you know. Anything that is liquid will do, by the way.

The potion...ah...since I've forgotten what it does, I'll let you have it for a mere 500!

and then we have the monkeybear paw. It can still grant three wishes, so that is worth quite a lot. But..."
He picks up the paw and looks it over. He sniffs it and immediatly recoils from the scent. "It is a rather horrid artifact and it has been used before. So I'll give it to you at a 95% discount over the standard price for these, at only 1000 gold pieces!"
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TCM

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Take all the items, then promptly head to the Lab.
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Because trying to stuff Fate/Whatever's engrish and the title of a 17th century book on statecraft into Pokemon syntax tends to make the content incomprehensible.

smurfingtonthethird

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Buy the ring, the key, and the goblet.

((monkey paw will probably be an evil wish-granter and the potion will probably turn me into a goat))
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RIP Moot ;-;7 Sigtext!
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