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[HmH]

"Bring out the Gimp."
"Which one?"
"All of them."

"The Gimp is sleeping."
"Well, I guess you're gonna have to wake... oh, right."
Your settlement has crumbled to its end.

This has got to be one of the messed up things I've ever read.

Amputating your dwarves' feet is relatively ethical compared to things that other researchers do. Case in point: dwarven "child care" and mermaid slaughterhouses.

[Urist Da Vinci]

A crutch has a volume of 200, so it would have a "size" of 2000 as a weapon (larger than trap components). It has a contact area of 34, which is 200^(2/3). A platinum (density 21400) crutch weighs 42.8, shown in-game as 42.

This item is heavy enough to severely slow down most dwarves, even if they are wearing nothing but the crutch. Lighter crutches are recommended. Iron or Steel crutches are probably optimal.

[Fen]

This has got to be one of the messed up things I've ever read.

Oh, this is quite tame compared to other things the community has come up with. It's like the next step up from blind siege operators, which have been standard for awhile now. Definitely go look up the mermaid bones farm. Now that's some real dwarven sadism right there.

[itg]

A crutch has a volume of 200, so it would have a "size" of 2000 as a weapon (larger than trap components). It has a contact area of 34, which is 200^(2/3). A platinum (density 21400) crutch weighs 42.8, shown in-game as 42.

This item is heavy enough to severely slow down most dwarves, even if they are wearing nothing but the crutch. Lighter crutches are recommended. Iron or Steel crutches are probably optimal.

I've done a little semi-scientific testing, and it appears that dwarves with steel crutches are about 15% faster than dwarves with platinum crutches. For instance, the captain, a grandmaster crutchwalker, moved 1 tile every 14.5 ticks or so with a platinum crutch, and he moved 1 tile every 12.5 ticks with a steel one. A great crutchwalker took 16 ticks to move 1 square with platinum and 14 ticks with steel.

Next question is whether the steel crutches perform acceptably well in combat. As long as they kill goblins reliably, steel crutches will be the better option. If only I could get a siege when I want one...

By the way, I tested the platinum crutches on the elven caravan. As expected, they break elf bones just fine, but I was disappointed with their performance against the horses, which was no better than vs. the trolls.

[PDF urist master]

what about the raws for the contact area and velocity of the crutch?

if the contact area is fairly low than it could make for a deadly weapon.

[itg]

Finally got a siege, so I got to test the steel crutches vs. goblins. Here's a representative combat log:

Spoiler: Steel (click to show/hide)

Steel crutches are pretty unimpressive--mainly bruises with some breaks on the smaller body parts. If you want your crutches to do damage, it's easily worth the speed sacrifice to go with platinum. Otherwise, it's probably best to go with a light wooden crutch and rely on a "real" weapon for killing stuff.

I also tried gold crutches, since it's nearly as dense as platinum but a lot more common.

Spoiler: Gold (click to show/hide)

It's clearly better than steel, but worse than platinum, as you would expect.

what about the raws for the contact area and velocity of the crutch?

if the contact area is fairly low than it could make for a deadly weapon.

Crutches seem to be hardcoded, so you can't just check the raws. Urist da Vinci posted that they have a contact area of 34, but I'm not sure where he got that.

[4maskwolf]

One training method I've always wanted to try was the captured husk method. Unkillable monstrosity plus well armored dwarf equals legendary weapon user. I've seen this work on caravan guards when hey got distracted by a horse husk and fought it until beyond legendary, when a spearmaster finally beheaded it.

[itg]

Hehe, I did that once with a bunny thrall. It was apparently unkillable because it was too small to decapitate or bisect, so it just ran around outside my fort for years on end. I couldn't get it to run into my cages, so I started sending out new recruits to beat on it for a while, now and then.

[wierd]

This almost makes me wonder what modded slade crutches would do.

The dwarf would probably be unable to move, but since damage dealt appears to be blunt based on kinetic mass, it should cause goblins to splatter on impact.

[4maskwolf]

"Listen up soldiers. This is your final test, one for which you will need all your strength, all your courage, and all the steel we can give you.  If you pass, you will become a great champion, but should you fail, you will be an outcast forever. Or probably just dead, and then reanimated, and I'll have to put you down a second time.

Regardless, prepare for: THE BUNNY TEST!!!!"

[wierd]

It really is a shame that vermin creatures cannot reanimate.

Just imagine for a moment... giant zombie roaches... all over the fortress.

[itg]

I just watched the gimps slowly bludgeon a forgotten beast to death (a one-eyed salamander. Beware its noxious secretions!). They never once gave more than a bruise with their crutches. After 40 pages of combat, I think they actually suffocated the poor beast by bruising its lungs again and again.

Edit: I got my first named crutch from that battle: Fortresswalk.

[wierd]

Fortress walk! Awesome!

You really need an artifact crutch, just to claim the honor.
The dwarves with disabilities association (DDA) is very proud of the members of your fortress.

I wish I didn't have corporate spyware here. I want to pixel art this up.

[hermes]

Fortresswalk, amazing name!  I love that system for specific amputations.  That is definitely going in my next fortress.  Less keen on intentionally crippling dwarves, but maybe a noble or two might make their way into that machine.

[IronTomato]

Modding dwarves so that they're made completely out of adamantine...

I haven't actually done it, but when I manage to figure out how mats work... Mark my words, I will! They'll be better than your silly cripples! MUAHAHA!