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[TheOnlySolitaire]

Playing adv mode without using recognised weapons (unarmed or misc objects and throwing only)
I've modded the Accelerated Modest mod to make dwarf, elf, goblin and kobold found sites I can visit in adv mode. Not touched interactions, materials etc. Just language files, and entities.

So, messing about, having fun in an Elf town keep. I decide to try and get a kill with a silk thread, expecting it to be a funny and long ordeal, because come on - if wooden weapons aren't that deadly, a little silk thread is going to have no effect whatsoever...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh boy was I wrong! The result was surprising:

Here is an awful, mspaint imagining of the scene:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I proceeded to attack the rest of the forts occupants with the thread.

But, it got me thinking: What weird, wonderful and humourous stories have come from DF?

We've got threads for most unlucky, and most awesome. But what about WEIRD?


So here's another offering to (hopefully) make this thread the bloody success my adventurers silk thread was:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I was solo-ing a human fortress as a swordsman. I exited from the keep to head for the towers. But dodged a bolt, and saw some soldiers just outside. I ducked back into the keep and waited, hoping to draw the shooters inside, with any other sword/hammer/spear soldiers too. Unfortunately, only an axeman followed. There was a pile of things, so I figured I would throw them at the crossbowman. It was only a wheelbarrow and a silk bag.
So I picked up the iron wheelbarrow and exited the keep, took one step then threw the wheelbarrow at the crossbowman.
Annnnnndddddddd.... WHAMMY!
Insta-kill.
I burst into laughter at the image in my head: The looks of utter confusion and shock the crossbowmans fellow soldiers must have had seeing their comrade brained by a wheelbarrow.

Here's a crappy mspaint rendition of the scene

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So, what stories/moments of WEIRD and WONDERFUL do you have for me bay12ers??

[ChildofSolitude]

All I have to say is; Biting off limbs.

[Blastbeard]

I once watched a cat kill a fully healthy, armed, and armored human outlaw in one hit. I've told this story before. The cat scratched the enemy's throat and the mook bled to death in two turns.

And I clearly remember a post about an unmodded human adventurer fitting an entire kobold into his mouth. The whole thing.

Really, this entire forum is a collection of weird and wonderful stories.

[TheOnlySolitaire]

Haha yeah I saw the mspaint image of the kobold in the mouth story, it was part of the inspiration for my drawings in my OP and why I wanted to make this thread.

Stories like that are what made me decide to play dwarf fortress - so please continue to share

I'd like to add that I have subsequently started using a unidentified 'peasant skeleton' I found in the sewers as a weapon alongside my silk thread. It's sickeningly effective... God I love the randomness of DF!

[EnigmaticHat]

I once went on a legit adventure.  I (very slightly) modded the world so that all five races were adventure playable always, and all non-kobolds used human sites.

Then I checked through legends and found a demon as a prisoner in a human civ.  So I decided I would play as a goblin demigod, and journey across the world to find this demon and recruit him.  At that point I would either bring him back or go on more adventures.  Now, much of what happened was interesting but most of it was fairly dark and doesn't belong in this thread.  There was one moment that was weird and wonderful though.

So I start out in a goblin village.  I learn the location of some lairs, then travel southwest to a goblin village closer to the lair.  Then I realize my mistake; the goblins are still glitched out and become hostile to me, so my own people turn on me.  I decide that my adventurer has been kicked out of his homeland and I'll just roll with this, so I continue on to the lair of a night creature and safety from boogeymen.  I fight the beast copper greataxe to copper boning knife.  Guess which one was more effective.  Long story short it shakes off my blows without having the decency to even bleed properly, it mutilates my leg, and the I cut it in half with a mighty blow.  I sleep the night in the lair, but there is no loot to be had and my adventure will not wait.  So I head north to the only civilization nearby, the elves.  They're probably hostile to my civ but its worth the risk.  If I sleep on the mountains I'm going to be ambushed at night and die because I'm permanently prone, while anywhere else boogeymen will kill me.  Its more than half a day's journey, meaning if this doesn't pay off I can't make it back to the safety of the lair before nightfall.

It is like this I arrive at the elves; tired, hungry, crawling.  Night is falling and I am, in so many ways, doomed.  I come out of fast travel to find myself surrounded by bizarre blue mushrooms everywhere.  Pixies fly in between feather trees.  I had literally come out of a wasteland into a place of storybook wonder.  It gets better though.  I find the elves, thinking I might need to fight for a place to stay, and discover that they're friendly!  Not only that, but I told them about the night beast that I had slain and two of them decided to join me on my quest.  And they had a crutch*!

I made the walk to the next Elven village outside of fast travel so that I would train crutch walker.  When I finally left the elves it was with renewed supplies, the ability to walk again after a fashion, and companions at my side.  It was like someone flipped a switch and my adventure went from depressing to optimistic.

*I remember this being true but I don't think villages can have crutches, so who knows.  I got a crutch somewhere at this stage of my journey

[mastahcheese]

If you wait until your character is about to die of hunger, then you temporarily gain the ability to butcher sentients.
You could tear off a man's arm, go off into the woods with it, wait until you could butcher it, and then craft the bone into a spear (using some adventurer crafting mod) and then go kill the man with his own bone spear.

[Starweaver396]

Kinda like your goblin thing, if you use an evil civ, you can trigger a loyalty cascade by letting a hostile hit you within sight of your followers. They defend you, civilians attack them, everyone hates you. Only had this happen once though, with a modded race.

[Drewigi]

Decided to use hammerdwarf, went into martial trance, bashed skulls in.

[golemgunk]

I was sneaking up on a bandit and I somehow kicked him in the teeth from behind

[Spy227X]

I made a flying fire-breathing adamantine colossus. Should have used slade, but anyway, it owned.

[SpazzyCat]

I had to fight a titan yesterday.



Expecting a big fight that was to end in poor Urist Plumplum's (me) death, I had my meatshields companions rush in first, who were promptly burned to death. It started to spit fire at me. I turned into a !!dwarf!!. Sure that my adventuring days were over:

The spinning whatshisface's corpse strikes the hill titan in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
Hill titan has been struck down.

After it was all said and done, I waited for the flames to consume me. And then it started raining.

I love DF.

[Twysted_Tide]

Back in my very first days in DF when I was testing it's limits I threw a handful of sand at a werebeast. I hoped for a sort of blinding effect, shattered its shin instead. It worked out well enough.

[Punching Bag]

Improving my biting skill. Somewhere near Professional I found a catacomb full of Kobolds, and ran into a room with a ton of them. I can only imagine the utter horror on their faces as they realize that stubby, bearded midget is eating everyone's face, and he's not going to stop.

EDIT: Oh god, I just killed a hill titan and became a legendary hero in the eyes of just about every single civilization on the planet. Seems like he made some enemies in the FIVE YEARS that have passed since the world genned.

[Xantalos]

I've gotten eccentric with my best adventurer (linked in my sig). He's basically invincible and laughs at everything, so I've taken to beating everything to death with an elf leather thong.

[Nathail]

One time I was experimenting with modded weapons. I happened to spawn with a copper glaive (which I made to basically be a short sword on a spear shaft). I promptly asked the villagers what needed killing, and they directed me to a giant jaguar which had killed two people. I traveled to its lair and snuck in to find it standing literally right next to me. I had high enough agility that it hadn't spotted me, but I panicked and sent an unaimed attack its way, scratching its head. Somehow, I scratched it so hard I shattered its skull and tore apart the brain. I like to imagine I reached inside it's mouth and scratched up through the soft palette.