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[Lectorog]

Yeah, I guess that's just what I was taught too; I don't know what's actually expected by society in general.

[Catsup]

ohh why is life so complex, i have a odd feeling of wanting to burst out laughing and hitting myself at the same time hahahah

[LordBucket]

why is life so complex

It doesn't need to be. What's the actual situation that prompts you to ask? If you're a girl and want to ask a guy out, go for it. It's extremely unlikely that they'll be offended that you violated some unspoken rule. If you're a guy and want to ask a girl out, again, go for it.

I don't see a problem either way.

[Catsup]

It doesn't need to be. What's the actual situation that prompts you to ask? If you're a girl and want to ask a guy out, go for it. It's extremely unlikely that they'll be offended that you violated some unspoken rule. If you're a guy and want to ask a girl out, again, go for it.

I don't see a problem either way.

hahaha i can see your point of view perfectly well, but friend you do not know me. You are talking to a guy who wishfully daydreams sometimes of splitting himself in half (with the other half being a girl) and dating himself. (which is not all that unrealistic if it was possible, i think i'd actually look pretty cute, girl or guy).

anyway i wouldnt even be asking this (these "gender roles" and "norms") if i didnt want to know (which i honestly dont). But time wont wait for me, and i'll soon be old and ugly T^T so i have to know, it is one step forward

[LordBucket]

anyway i wouldnt even be asking this (these "gender roles" and "norms") if i didnt want to know (which i honestly dont). But time wont wait for me, and i'll soon be old and ugly T^T so i have to know, it is one step forward

Ok. Well, again, yes there seems to be this idea that it's expected that guys ask girls out rather than the reverse...but my experience has been that it rarely works that way. In fact, if a guy asked a girl out he didn't know particularly well...I'd kind of expect her to be surprised and say no just because it would be weird for a guy she didn't know to be asking her on a date.

There are a lot of non-verbal cues. In fact, now that I think about it...according to this book, women initiate two thirds of all encounters, but they do it in a way that leads the man to believe that it was their idea. Men do the asking, but not until after receiving subconscious cues from a woman that she's receptive. She smiles, flips her hair, etc. He gets flushed, then approaches her...and comes away thinking it was his idea to approach her.

So if you're considering asking a girl out, maybe it's because she's been putting out hints that she wants you to ask her out, but it's taking place at the subconscious level, so you just haven't noticed.

[Catsup]

So if you're considering asking a girl out, maybe it's because she's been putting out hints that she wants you to ask her out, but it's taking place at the subconscious level, so you just haven't noticed.

i dont know what i want, just that i have to do something. i think i will start by trying to talk to whoever i can that is my own age (normal talking). i calmed down a bit now, im not a narcisscist guys, if you may think that from reading my other post; i dont think im desparate or lonely either, heck i think my other half would have slapped me knowing how i was like hehehe...or maybe not (i aint violent)...or worse...teased me X_X.

[Lectorog]

Yeah, just get to know people. Then both parties will be able to make a more informed decision on whether dating should happen.

[Catsup]

Yeah, just get to know people. Then both parties will be able to make a more informed decision on whether dating should happen.

yes yes i see that...i have almost no experience talking to anyone my own age though...guy or girl (i think you assumed when i said "someone my own age" i meant "someone i would like, my own age"). My voice is crappy right now, it doesnt sound authentic, kinda like a broken robot with occasional dry laughs (not monotone though). Its mostly like this because i speak another language at home with most ppl i do talk to. My english mannerisms is also quite different from the typing here.

well thanks for the advice guys, now i know    ....though i somehow think thats a neutral thing at best since there is no way to naturally "unknow" something *sigh...being human sucks so much, i'd rather be a lobster or a tree, they live hundreds of years, they arent forced to conform to society's norms in order to socialize out of fear of losing their youth and beauty.

[Lectorog]

Just talk to people. If they aren't okay with you, they aren't okay with you. It's better to know a few people who are okay with you and a few who aren't than to sit alone, wishing more people would be okay with you and never really knowing.

[Catsup]

Just talk to people. If they aren't okay with you, they aren't okay with you. It's better to know a few people who are okay with you and a few who aren't than to sit alone, wishing more people would be okay with you and never really knowing.

yea yea i know, im not really the wishing type though, if something doesnt work out i'd just shrug and leave em be (yes i know its harder said than done xD).

Im not really the active type though, and its cold outside right now so i dont like going out =/  ....oh and the winter winds do bad, unspeakable things to my hair sometimes X_x

[Max White]

Normally you write a letter to her father with a proposal to exchange so many head of cattle for her hand in marriage. If she hasn't yet bled then a betrothal can be arranged instead, and it will often get you a better deal if their is no assurance she will live that long. Black plague and all that, can't be too careful!

[Virex]

is it normal that guys should be the ones asking girls out and not vice versa? or is it the same for both of them? (ie normally both girls/guys ask the other out if they like them).

To anwer your question with a question of my own: Do you think anyone is going to respect a dude who's too chicken to make the first move?

[Lectorog]

To anwer your question with a question of my own: Do you think anyone is going to respect a dude who's too chicken to make the first move?

And then the crowd started chanting "it's a slippery slope to rape"~

As LordBucket has been saying, there's not necessarily a first move, and someone making a first move is probably a minority of successful relationships.

[Catsup]

To anwer your question with a question of my own: Do you think anyone is going to respect a dude who's too chicken to make the first move?

the logical answer is no, but the question would only matter if this hypothetical guy we are talking about actually cares what other ppl think of him.

Normally you write a letter to her father with a proposal to exchange so many head of cattle for her hand in marriage. If she hasn't yet bled then a betrothal can be arranged instead, and it will often get you a better deal if their is no assurance she will live that long. Black plague and all that, can't be too careful!

oh you! i actually wish i lived in medieval/classical era, no guns, no capitalism, just good ol swords, plague, and feudalism. I'd think its a much more peaceful (im talking about inner peace), simpler life, more natural, compared to modern times; even if you had a much higher chance of dying earlier. But hey, humans made a pact with death at birth, we were born to eventually wither and die, so meh.

[Biowraith]

To anwer your question with a question of my own: Do you think anyone is going to respect a dude who's too chicken to make the first move?

Fwiw, that would have zero impact on whether I respected someone.