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Author Topic: simple reality check here, answer please  (Read 3152 times)

Catsup

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simple reality check here, answer please
« on: December 30, 2013, 12:17:49 am »

is it normal that guys should be the ones asking girls out and not vice versa? or is it the same for both of them? (ie normally both girls/guys ask the other out if they like them).

LordSlowpoke

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2013, 12:19:22 am »

is it normal that guys should be the ones asking girls out and not vice versa?

no, but society expects them to because fuck logic

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Catsup

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2013, 12:22:03 am »

is it normal that guys should be the ones asking girls out and not vice versa?

no, but society expects them to because fuck logic
well sir i sincerely thank you for the quick reply. I want to know what IS normal though, not what should be (not that i disagree with anything). But you are saying that it is socially expected for guys to do the asking right...?

I actually thought in this day and age with all the gender equality things going on that it would be the same for both genders regarding this (who is supposed to ask out who).

Grek

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2013, 12:25:51 am »

A girl asking a guy out is perfectly normal and nobody thinks it is weird.
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Catsup

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2013, 12:28:04 am »

A girl asking a guy out is perfectly normal and nobody thinks it is weird.
are you sure about that? cuz i wasnt...

LordSlowpoke

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2013, 12:28:11 am »

is it normal that guys should be the ones asking girls out and not vice versa?

no, but society expects them to because fuck logic
well sir i sincerely thank you for the quick reply. I want to know what IS normal though, not what should be (not that i disagree with anything). But you are saying that it is socially expected for guys to do the asking right...?

I actually thought in this day and age with all the gender equality things going on that it would be the same for both genders regarding this (who is supposed to ask out who).

the guy is still expected to do most of the work in the initial phases of a relationship, so asking would fall under his responsibilities

gender equality is doing a lot of things when it comes to relationships but this part hasn't changed since before feminism was a thing tbh (at least arranged marriages are no longer considered acceptable)

A girl asking a guy out is perfectly normal and nobody thinks it is weird.

or you can live where grek lives and everything i say is completely not applicable
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Catsup

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2013, 12:31:14 am »

where does grek live!!!!???? where is this magical wonderful place???!!! take me with you!! T^T

Grek

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2013, 12:42:38 am »

Texas. Surprising, yes?
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kaijyuu

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2013, 12:44:30 am »

My now-wife is the one who approached me first.


Anywho, if you see someone you like you should approach them about it. Yes it's silly that there's a gender role that women shouldn't instigate anything, but that's no excuse to sit around and not instigate anything either. Even if assertive women are your type, that doesn't mean you HAVE to wait for them to approach you.
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Catsup

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2013, 12:48:18 am »

Texas. Surprising, yes?
texas??!!!! oh dang, well aint that surprising, ofc its surprising!!! when i think of texas i think of cowboys, wrestling, guns, and alot of manly stuff. Thats the last place i'd think that would be normal at lol


My now-wife is the one who approached me first.

Anywho, if you see someone you like you should approach them about it. Yes it's silly that there's a gender role that women shouldn't instigate anything, but that's no excuse to sit around and not instigate anything either. Even if assertive women are your type, that doesn't mean you HAVE to wait for them to approach you.
*sigh...i am unaware of gender roles either, it seems so pointless logically in today's society.

kaijyuu

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2013, 12:52:35 am »

Yeah gender roles are dumb and should be obliterated. We still have to deal with people who want to conform to them though :( (and worse, those who want OTHERS to conform to them)
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

Catsup

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2013, 12:54:08 am »

Yeah gender roles are dumb and should be obliterated. We still have to deal with people who want to conform to them though :( (and worse, those who want OTHERS to conform to them)
can you tell me what they are anyway just so i know?

Lectorog

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2013, 01:08:57 am »

It's expected for the guy to ask the girl out. It is acceptable for the girl to ask the guy out.

Yeah gender roles are dumb and should be obliterated. We still have to deal with people who want to conform to them though :( (and worse, those who want OTHERS to conform to them)
can you tell me what they are anyway just so i know?
This question is too vague; what does "they" mean - gender roles, people who want to conform to gender roles, or people who want other people to conform to gender roles?
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Catsup

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2013, 01:11:34 am »

It's expected for the guy to ask the girl out. It is acceptable for the girl to ask the guy out.

Yeah gender roles are dumb and should be obliterated. We still have to deal with people who want to conform to them though :( (and worse, those who want OTHERS to conform to them)
can you tell me what they are anyway just so i know?
This question is too vague; what does "they" mean - gender roles, people who want to conform to gender roles, or people who want other people to conform to gender roles?
it means gender roles

LordBucket

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Re: simple reality check here, answer please
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2013, 01:21:56 am »

It's expected for the guy to ask the girl out. It is acceptable for the girl to ask the guy out.

Expected by whom? In my experience, "asking out on dates" isn't really done much anymore. I know that my parents taught me that The Proper Protocol(tm) was: guy asks girl out --> date happens --> date repeats --> guy suggests they see date each other exclusively --> they're now 'going steady.' But does anyone do that anymore?

Most of my girlfriends, nobody really asked anyone out at all, guy or girl. More often the process is like, we happen to spend a lot of time together, lots of non-verbal cues are given that result in a kiss being shared mutually rather than one person sitting there and the other kissing them. And at that point it's clear that some sort of relationship is in process, and either discussion about it occurs, or discussion about it doesn't occur and everybody just assumes the other one agrees to the same rules. (Which I don't recommend, by the way. Talk. It's better.)

I have been on formal dates...but almost all of them were set up by a girl we both knew. Asking "would you go out with me?" of someone who wasn't expecting it, followed by a dinner and a movie...I don't think it's done that way much anymore.

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