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[Clogs]

Funny spam that could fool anyone.

#1 I'm a real famous person trying to contact you. I've grown real tired of the rich and famous lifestyle. I heard you were a normal person so I thought it would be a great idea to swap lives. You'll be living in a mansion made out of gold with furniture made out of diamonds, own clothing made out of unicorn leather and have many vehicles at your disposal such as a couple of space shuttles a platinum Bugatti Veyron and more. You'll find that my mansion has any room you could want such as a theme park room where some of my rollercosters are stored. If you want to know more please forward your personal details to me.

#2 This is the chain message of DEATH. You need to forward it to 10 people at 10:10am other wise the following will happen to you. (10 rats will eat up 10 of your socks, 10 of your favorite crayons will break into 10 pieces, 10 mimes will mime outside your windows for 10 hours, you'll find 10 jokes not funny for every 10 years and even more...) This is not a joke, I know 10 people that thought this wasn't true and didn't bother to forward this.

#3 You have subscribed to Einstein facts!!! Welcome to your daily Einstein Facts!!! Be the genius at school, get that bachelors degree you always wanted with Einstein facts!!! You'll get 3 Einstein facts every hour!!! Here's your Einstein Facts: Did you know that Einstein was part of the human race and lived on planet earth? Did you know that Einstein is not the process of looking in the fridge when you hungry but it's the name of a famous scientist? Did you know that Einstein is not alive this very day? LEGAL NOTE: When using Einstein facts for your school tasks or university projects then please reference us as a source

#4 I am what you living organisms call an "alien" We plan to eradicate all life on what you call "earth" we will keep you alive on one condition: Make a transfer into our bank account of a total sum of $100 000 000. Aliens don't have the ability to lie.

#5 You are the CHOSEN ONE! Prophecies have foretold your coming into this world. Many generations have been waiting for you... Now you can fulfill your destiny!!! Many religions were formed in the believe that you'll come one day and arise. Today is that amazing day. DO WHAT YOUR DESTINED TO DO!!! Pay $8000 000 in my account details are as follows:

#6 *REMOVED DUPLICATE*

#7 Are you tired of your life? Do you get bored easily? Do you laugh at funny jokes? Are you allergic to grapes? LIKE WE CARE! Buy our SUPER NEW AWESOME FUN EPIC MASSIVE back scratcher! IT CAN FRICKEN SCRATCH YOUR BACK and THAT'S IT. Manual labor required...

#8 Tired of spam? Claim here from our SPAM disaster fund, for people who suffer & die every day because email spam.

#9 We are sorry to hear that your hamster died, please claim inheritance ($100 000000000) that he left you. Details below.

#10 There's people out there that want to give you MONEY!!! WOW, get their details here! YOUR SO LUCKY I WISH I WAS YOU

#11 Karma Services - to insure that you don't reincarnate into a fly one day. We have a room set up full of elderly people so that you can build up your Karma rating! Help Aunt Susie cross our fake road or water Uncle Piet's plastic vegetable garden. Read reviews from reincarnated animals themselves!

#12 Magic hoodlumpy dwarves want to work for YOU!!!! These rare fine creatures are only sold exclusively on the black market and originate from area 51. Use them to mine for minerals, build your own midget army, dress them in stupid out fits and laugh at them and many many more! Your first shipment of hoodlump dwarves comes with a free hoodlump 86 track musical CD of hoodlump singing. With songs that rivaled 50 cent on the charts such as hoodlumpy lumps lumps. Get your free trail NOW!!! Buyer obtains hoodlump at own risk, any brutal murders caused by hoodlumps cannot be linked to us.

So which one is your favorite and maybe post your own funny spam.

[Loud Whispers]

Nigerian prince one true spam.

[Vector]

I'm not sure if I prefer Einstein Facts #3 or Einstein Facts #6, myself.

[misko27]

I just gotta go with #4 and #9. "Aliens don't have the ability to lie".

[Caz]

Yes... what?

[Steelmagic]

#9. I always knew he was holding out on me. Even though I've never even had a hamster.


Also #7 because of how much hype is built for a damn backscratcher.

[Clogs]

Glad you guys are finding it funny. Sorry about the duplicate, I removed it now.

[Loud Whispers]

Glad you guys are finding it funny. Sorry about the duplicate, I removed it now.

Are you implying spam is above duplication? That's how they reproduce. Spamtosis.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

None of those are very believable. Especially the famous rich person one.

If you're rich, you can just choose to be poor. Leave your wallet at home, hop on a plane and go to some other country, and start sending out a crappy resume. Grow a beard and wear shabby clothes, nobody will recognize you. And when you're tired of being poor you can just go home and be rich again!

If you're poor, you're stuck being poor.

That's why poor people fantasize about being rich, and no rich person ever really fantasizes about being poor. Maybe dreams about a life that is better, which is to say still rich but no paparazzi for example, which isn't the same thing. Maybe dreams of a simpler life living in a cottage on some meadow in the Alps - again, ignoring the realities of life as a poor person.

Because of that no rich person is ever gonna "change places" and how would a famous person "change places" anyway? What, are people going to watch an interview with Bob Jujube just because the interviewer says he's famous?

(Actually, that "famous because you're famous" thing happens sometimes)

[Loud Whispers]

-snip-

What if you're Nero-tier in wealth and mindset, so you don't know how to be poor, any more than Nero didn't know how to kill himself?

[LeoLeonardoIII]

The kind of dumbass who probably had his personal assistant type up the email because he's illiterate?

Becoming poor is not challenging. Just drop all your shit and go outside. Are you hungry? How will you get food with no servants? The man says you need money to take his food. How get monies? "Get a job!" he says. "You work and then they give you money."

Nero finds someone who will pay him to pick up a heavy thing and put it down again, over and over, all day long. Nero gets some money and trades some of it for bread.

Now Nero is cold and it's getting dark. You knock on the door but the man says no, you can't sleep here. You need to pay money to borrow a house. Nero hands over more money and gets to sleep in a house for the night.

But Nero is sad, because after paying for his bread and his house he has no more money! Time to go back to work lifting the heavy thing.

Sometimes you end up with not enough money for the bread AND the house. But you never have too much money.

OR, perhaps Nero doesn't figure it out, and dies starving in the street.

[LordBucket]

Relevant collegehumor video

[Shadowscynthe]

#7 Are you tired of your life? Do you get bored easily? Do you laugh at funny jokes? Are you allergic to grapes? LIKE WE CARE! Buy our SUPER NEW AWESOME FUN EPIC MASSIVE back scratcher! IT CAN FRICKEN SCRATCH YOUR BACK and THAT'S IT. Manual labor required...

sold. and sigged.

[Clogs]

Seeing that in you signature mad me crying from laughing and that collage humor video was quite funny. 

[Clogs]

UPDATE - Added two more